girls stand me up

[CluelessBro]

sorry in advance for the long post. i just got tinder 1.5 weeks ago. im brand new to the dating scene generally (even though im already in my early 20s) so i didnt know what to expect. im self-concious and put zero effort into my profile so i wasnt expecting much, but i actually got quite a few good matches. my friends tell me when i dress properly im a solid 8/10. im always nice, respectful, flirtatious and funny. so much so that 4 of the girls i was talking to gave me their numbers (without me even asking) and agreed to go on a date with me.

1) girl 1 asked me if i wanted to hang out with her and gave me her number. i happily agreed. the day we were supposed to meet up, she texted me saying she "had a change of heart" and that she was "going back into hibernation". ok, i guess someone better came along. no biggie.

2) girl 2 gave me her number and after talking a bit more agreed to get dinner with me. 30 minutes before were suposed to meet up she texted me saying she was super sorry but she couldnt make it because she had to stay late at work. "please dont let it cloud your opinion of me, i was really looking forward to meeting you". i agreed to reschedule. the second day we were supposed to meet up she was non responsive. i didnt wait for an excuse, i just deleted her info and unmatched. im nice, but not that nice.

3) girl 3 gave me her number, we played video games on skype together for 6 hours, and we agreed to meet up for a movie. she has a weird schedule and works nights. she was non-responsive the entire day we were supposed to see the movie. at 4am she texts me saying she "accidently set her alarm for 4am instead of 4pm". right... she was super apologetic and wanted to reschedule. we have not yet done so.

4) girl 4 gave me her number and agreed to meet up for dinner. it actually got to the point where she was supposedly 10 mins away, waiting for a bus to come to take her to the restaurant. i got to the restaurant, got a table, and she texted me saying she was reaaaally sorry, but it was too late, she had a super stressful day at work, and it was soooo cold an windy out that she went back into the subway station and went home. "i know this is making me look bad to the point of no return"... "i really want to go home and have some KD instead". really? i ate alone and went home. i told her i understood and agreed to reschedule but as with girl 3, we havnt yet done so.

i know im doing something right because these girls keep giving me their numbers and agreeing to meet up. but at the last minute they decide not to. i know its a hard question to answer with the limited info ive provided, but what could i be doing wrong? at first i wasnt worried but now i think there might be something wrong with what im doing. putting myself out there on tinder took a lot of pressuring by my friends and is emotionally draining. im already introverted and have issues with low self esteem. being stood up 5 times in a row by 4 different girls has done a number on my psyche and im pretty depressed. is this just normal behaviour and i shouldnt worry about it? am i being too easily discouraged? thanks

[Bewilderbeasts]

I feel ya bro.

Dating is exhausting, its emotionally draining, and what you're experiencing is par for the course. Part of the problem is that girls are spoilt for choice, and that 90% of the time they haven't got a clue what they want. For them its exiting, for us its a massive ****ing headache so that perhaps we get an opportunity to be intimate with someone.

If you "work at it" you might get some good things from it, but... I can't honestly recommend it. I myself have given up on it. Not worth the hassle. But then again I already have a lot of experince so it doesn't pay off for me. If you have less experience then you may well have the motivation to persevere with it.

If you do continue with the game, I recommend you learn to put your foot down a bit with regards to ensuring you don't get stood up again. On the day of the date, say some hours before the actual date, message them to confirm if you are still going to meet. If they dont confirm then assume the date is off. It's still a pain in the arse, but better than getting stood up.