In love with boss

[Officeangel]

I need advice. I have become infactuated with my boss. I can't sleep and I think about him all the time. He looks at me a lot and we've had that eyes met across a crowded room moment but he is not making any obvious signs and keeping professional. He is quite new to the company.
Please help as I know he's the one. There is a strong chemistry. This is not just a crush as I am in my 40 s

[smackie9]

Hah it doesn't matter what age you are...crushes are not just for kids. If you are 40 something and you think he is the one when you have never dated him...you gots a problem. You are infatuated and yes it does get the best of us at any age. Having an affair with someone you work with, especially your boss, is a bad bad thing to get involved in. You are glancing at each other from across the reception desk, lustfully daydreaming of him on your breaks....sound silly? because it is silly, you are being silly and your coworkers have taken notice. I bet money on it they are gossiping around the water cooler daily about you.

He isn't following your play because his job is on the line, especially being new. He keeps professional and so should you before you lose your job.

[foxtopus]

I am going to assume you are single. Is he single or married? If he is married, I don't think it would be wise to act on it at all...

If he is single, what is your company's policy on dating in the workplace? If it is against the rules, do you feel it would be worth it?

I agree that if you haven't even dated him yet and you feel he is the one then may you need to take a step back and think about things a little more simply.

[melancholia]

Please help as I know he's the one. There is a strong chemistry. This is not just a crush as I am in my 40 s

Oh please. It's just a crush. You have absolutely nothing to go on except a few exchanged glances across the room.

I need advice. I have become infactuated with my boss. I can't sleep and I think about him all the time. He looks at me a lot and we've had that eyes met across a crowded room moment but he is not making any obvious signs and keeping professional. He is quite new to the company.

Your boss is acting appropriately by keeping your relationship strictly professional. He may not even be interested in you romantically at all. I am getting the sense that you are misjudging his "looks from across the room" and placing more value on them than you should be. If you have looked over your company's policy on inter-company relations, and if it outlines that inter-company relations are not prohibited, then at least you know you couldn't get fired for dating him. Having said that, most superiors will not ever cross the line and date their inferiors at work, because it places them in a diabolical situation. It's never a good idea to date people you work with, especially your superiors.

[Wakeup]

I need advice. I have become infactuated with my boss.

Its infatuated

I can't sleep and I think about him all the time. He looks at me a lot and we've had that eyes met across a crowded room moment but he is not making any obvious signs and keeping professional. He is quite new to the company.
Please help as I know he's the one.

You don't "know" any such thing. You don't even know him ffs.

There is a strong chemistry. This is not just a crush as I am in my 40 s

There may be "strong chemisty" in your imagination but until he does more then just "look" at you, this is all in your head.

Do you even know if he's single. Are you?

[nheeya]

Is your boss single?

[TheEvilJester]

First off, I am going to continue by assuming your boss is single. If he is married or even just in a relationship, then you might as well stop right there. If that is the case, then he is not available, so it doesn't matter anyway and you need to just forget him and move on. However, assuming he IS single and available....

Please do not misunderstand anything I say. Trust me, I understand having a crush, and I understand when it feels to you like it is more than just a crush. So, do not misunderstand in any way that I mean to belittle you or trivialize your feelings. Believe me, I have the same tendency to fall too hard too fast for people (even just crushes), but thankfully I have learned that about myself and learned how to better handle it. It can be okay (and can be a wonderful feeling) to allow yourself to fall into that kind of feeling.... but it is also important to realize when you may just be overly engaged in the relationship or crush and be able to engage your intellectual side as well. You need to be able to tell yourself it is okay to have those feelings.... but you also need to realize that it is possible they could turn out to be for nothing, and that is also okay. Eventually, they WON'T be for nothing, and will actually be for the right person who will return those feelings.

Trust me, I know and understand how you feel. Still, no matter how much it may seem that way, you cannot possibly know if this guy is "the one" because you two haven't even so much as dated yet. You said you have had those "lock eyes from across the room" kind of moments. That could mean what you think it means, or it could just mean his eyes happened to meet yours. As it is, workplace romances are a very iffy idea..... but it is basically NEVER a good idea to date your boss.

As it is, you two haven't really talked beyond professional conversations. Right now, it would just be best to leave it at that. You've not done anything yet, so there is nothing you'd be losing by just moving on and forgetting it. If he moved to a different department, then MAYBE you consider asking him out if he does not you. Workplace relationships are not ideal, but if you two were in completely different departments, it might be a little more doable. Him not only being on the same team as you, but actually being your direct boss just screams "Do not pass Go! Do not collect $200."

Believe me, I of all people know how you feel. When you have such a crush on somebody it can feel to you like it is not just a crush but something so much more real. The thing is, you can't honestly know that without getting to know the person better. Not only that, but as much as it feels like you can't even think of anybody else.... eventually you will. If things don't work out with this fella (and really, him being your boss it seems you shouldn't even try) then eventually you'll find another guy who makes you feel the same way.

If you are anything like me, you won't ever be able to stop falling so hard for people when you feel like they are "the one," but you will at least be better able to realize when you may just be over-reacting. It isn't easy, but it can be really amazing to be able to allow yourself to feel so wonderfully infatuated with somebody..... while at the same time engaging your intellectual side to realize maybe they aren't really the person you think they are.... and that is okay if they turn out not to be because you will eventually feel the same way about somebody again in the future. The trick is eventually finding the person you fall that crazily head over heels for who not only turns out to be exactly who you thought and more, but also returns the same love.

Good luck. Unless something changes, I wouldn't recommend you pursue this guy, but I fully believe you will find somebody. Maybe it WILL turn out to be him if he goes to another department, or even leaves the company. You never know. Fate may bring you two together. The thing is, right now it is just not a very good idea given the current situation. There will be somebody for you, though. That time just isn't now. Not yet.