The Jealousy Bug

[treehugger101]

How many of you females, get jealous that your man has female friends? Do you let him talk or hang out with those females? Whether it'd be a one on one, group, or a trio with you included? What about him, does he get jealous? What do you think of jealousy in relationships and dating?

[Melissa259]

I'd be worried if my partner DIDN'T have female friends, working on the basis that someone who doesn't like women is going to end up not liking me. I have male friends who are like female friends except that they're, er, male - and I couldn't imagine having a relationship with a guy who didn't understand that.

However, that is not at all the same as "friendships" where one person is holding out for a relationship and the other person's stringing them along; "friendships" which are flirtatious and one person's using the other person's interest to manipulate their own partner, or where they're ex-partners who are still emotionally invested.

[melancholia]

I used to be the kind of person who didn't know how to handle feelings of jealousy. I thought I needed to control everything, including who my partner spent time with outside of our relationship. I've also had partners who are overly jealous and it's suffocating. It became exhausting, and eventually I stopped caring so much. I also learned that jealousy is a natural, human emotion that all of us experience. It's okay to feel jealous. Keep in mind, there's cute jealous, and then there's Othello... that's a weak joke, but what's more important is our actions when we feel jealous. We need to be careful when dealing with jealousy, because we can react in ways that are unhealthy if we don't learn how to address and handle feelings of jealousy.

[treehugger101]

My Bf says I should tell him when I am feeling jealous when he hangs out with his friends or this or that but I don't know.

[lightstar]

It really depends what you mean by friends. aquaintences fine, work colleagues fine, occasional group settings like a party with me included fine.. or even occasionally without me fine. one on one alone time with a close female friend=deal breaker. if its regular contact its even more of a deal breaker. most guys don't really want close female friends unless they secretly have the hots for her or are gay..

As for jealousy, I don't really get jealous. If I was with a guy who created those feelings in me by crossing my personal boundaries or doing things that I feel are deal breakers then I would not stay with him

Honestly it doesn't matter what people say here. If it upsets you then it matters and if other females are an issue in your relationship, then you should get out

[treehugger101]

Oh I see. I do get jealous at times and it sucks.

[breathe123]

I don't get jealous of other girls but had an ex who got very jealous of male friends of mine & that relationship failed because of his jealousy. ( BTW he had no reason to be jealous)