I need some advice...

[CheekyBugger]

Around March 2014 i hooked up with this girl, she was my second girlfriend. Only a week after we met she broke up with her boyfriend and hooked up with me, it happened insanely fast and we had more things in common than anyone we ever knew. The only problem was that we live 30 kilometers (around 18 miles) away from each other, so for the short 3 weeks we were together, we only saw in person once a week, plus the night we hooked up, so 4 times, the fact that none of us could drive was also a thing. Although, the 10 000 messages on facebook and at least 90 hours on skype make up from that. And i promise you, those three weeks were most fun i EVER had. Then suddenly, literally over night, she just STOPS messaging me, I try to get an answer, nothing, so I put my phone down, go to my friends house and have fun, thinking she is probably doing something important, she spent a lot of time in the hospital during that last week, etc. And out of nowhere, around 9 PM, our mutual friend calls me and asks me: "Hey, you know Sarah broke up with you?" (I'll just call he Sarah), I had no idea what he was talking about, nothing led to this, i checked our messages a couple of times after, nothing, she was cheerful all the time, saying she loves me etc, she was also quite jealous when it came to me being friends with other girls, leading me to think she cared about me more than i had thought. Then, after I say no to my friend, he continues: "Yeah, she met some other guy last night and ended up with him at the end". At this point i hear a couple of people whispering in the background on my friend's side of the call and say: "She's listening to us right now, isn't she?", my friend confirms. After remembering what happened to the last guy she broke up with (he got made fun of a LOT for never being able to get over her) i decide to say the safest thing i can, i say: "I don't care" and hang up...

That night, i get drunk a.f. and barely walk back home. The next morning i wake up to see that i sent her a message, quite a long one too, with all kinds of dumb bullshit, most words don't even make sense, so I apologize to her, to what she reacts like i'm lying I was drunk and didn't know what i was writing.

Anyway, a couple of weeks pass and we don't talk, but then she messages me again, I was about to move to her city because of school and she wanted to know what i'm going to do about the apartment. I talk to her casually, not bringing up ANYTHING that happened and we finish the conversation, not talking for the next 6-7 months. Even then, the talks were short and dull. We remained friends on facebook and she still likes my pictures, leading me to think she never got mad at me for saying the stupid 'I don't care', also, i never moved to that place.

My point is, even after two years, during which i followed the only advice people gave me (try to forget about her and date other girls), I managed to ignore her, but never forget her, i tried dating a couple of girls, most of those relationships lasted either a couple of days, or ended on the date, mostly by my choice. I can't stop comparing other girls to her and said to myself i won't try to get into a relationship with any girl unless she is equal or better than Sarah. After meeting (meeting, not dating) dozens of girls, i still can't find one like that, got very close a couple of months ago, but that ended badly.

To be honest, i don't know what i'm asking of you guys, any sort of thoughts on this would be helpful, thanks in advance and sorry for the long post...

[smackie9]

So this girl used you as a rebound and you never got proper closure right?

I think you need to change your perspective in order to move on. Fact: this was a rebound relationship. Red flag, she was seeing you a week before she dumped her BF. 2nd red flag, she hooked up with some guy. Mistake, being friends with a girl that emotionally messed you up because she herself was emotionally messed up.

You need to focus on what really happened instead of the intensity of the 4 dates you had with her. You are clinging onto to something that really didn't have much value because she truly wasn't invested in the first place.