Asking a girl out

[leeutalkin2me]

Hi there,

I'm after some advice, Im not very experienced in the dating world.

I want to ask a girl out but not sure how to do it or if its appropriate.

The last few weeks a relative has been having daily Carer visits. I call in and check on him too and at times the main girl who comes is there.

Seems very nice and we have a bit chat together, only visits for short amount of time. Through things she has said herself I think she is single.

Rather awkwardly my relative was asking her lots of questions when I was there like if she was single and then saying that I was and would be a great BF for her. We both just laughed it off as quite embarrassing.

I dont know if it would be classed inappropriate If I asked her out whilst as she is working or how best to do it

She is a cute little brunette, my type, about 6 years difference. I always said i hate people smoking & couldnt be with someone who did & know she does. Not sure if that deal breaker means I could be missing out

[nheeya]

When true love hits you, you will forget your standard. That's normal. I don't know why you are still have a hard time asking her out when she is already closed with your relative. Just tell her straight, maybe she is just waiting. Go go go.

[TheEvilJester]

Are you the main person taking care of/helping with this relative? Or do you just happen to visit sometimes and/or lend a hand? I only ask because if you are mainly the person there and/or you actually hired her and pay her, it may be a bit strange.

If not, then why not ask her out? If she's not interested, she can just say so. If it makes you feel awkward after, maybe you just don't have to visit your relative at the same time as when she would be there. Just visit at a time when your relative's daily care has left for the day, or before they come, or whatever works best. Or, if she is only there certain days, visit when she is not.

On the other hand, if she actually says yes, wouldn't you be kicking yourself for even considering not trying? You already sort of have an in to be able to talk to her, so it isn't as weird/nerve-wracking as trying to engage with a complete stranger. Just ask her in a no-pressure kind of way like you would any other gal. Though, don't ask with any "it's okay if you don't want to" type qualifiers, if you know what I mean.

I, for one, know how tempting it can be to try to both save yourself embarrassment and also make it easier on them by saying something like "It's cool if you're not interested, but...." Really, though, it is best just not to say something like that. Of course it is/should be okay if the person isn't interested. They have free will. They don't HAVE to say yes just because you ask. So, you don't need to give them that disclaimer, and it can just wind up projecting a negative image you don't want anyway. So, just ask and she can say yes or she can say no. Remember, though, if she says no, that is her loss. Some other gal will say yes sometime. If she says yes, then great!

Good luck to you either way.