she just had an abortion and it wasn't my baby

[sailorjerry1986]

my gf and i broke up after a year of being together. it was a long time coming, and the problems we had were sort of my doing, however she also had some baggage and acted crazy as heck.

she was super over me and i found out she had a guy at work that seemed to be all that, talking her up and making her feel good. they ended up dating for almost two months but the whole time she was sort of trying to keep up contact with me. after i ignored her for a month i finally gave in and asked her what she wanted and she just said that she missed me. we hung out once and she fell apart and begged to get back with me. she said things were over with that guy. turns out they were just fizzling out and she had noticed he had a bad drug/alcohol problem. I personally think she's retarded for even going there with someone after she noticed the party boy problem he had.

regardless she said she had a lot of feelings for him and they had a good time together. but everything he lacked, I had. and she wanted to get back with me after realizing that we had something special.

we both needed the break i think. but now I'm having some major issues with insecurities and possibly codependency.

After 3 weeks of us being back together i was really starting to trust her again and had sneakily gone through her phone and never found anything and she was always where she said she was going to be and i started relaxing and not being such a controlling psycho lol. But then she took a pregnancy test. she was pregnant and we realized that it was definitely the other guys kid. she had an abortion yesterday, was very hurt, depressed, and confused. I understand she has a lot of emotions. anyways she told the guy two days ago, and yesterday had the abortion. him and her have been texting back and forth and she's let me read everything they've written and its nothing shady, but there are some hurdles I'm having trouble getting past.
1) because of the nature of our breakup she isn't comfortable telling people about us yet cause everyone hates me pretty much.
2) although we are really doing quite well, she said she still has some feelings for the guy even though he is an idiot and says she never wants to talk to him again.
3) she seems hurt and wants closure etc because of the abortion

IM just sort of wondering if I'm being unreasonable telling her I expect her to not contact him anymore after the abortion. I want all of her and i feel bad about the situation but I've been really cool about the whole thing. she keeps telling me to control my mind and has honestly said some pretty amazing stuff to me, about the way she feels about me. ( i have everything going for me, she's more comfortable with me than anyone she's ever met, she's never been with someone where kissing and making love just gets better and better, and she is ALLLLL over me when I'm not acting insecure and pestering her for information) IDK she has just been pretty confident and collected in spite of everything going on, minus some major nuclear meltdowns where she was crying and freaking out about having to get an abortion.

I really want a future with this girl and I'm just battling insecurities and i don't get how i am being like this. i have never felt like this before and its honestly sort of crippling. I can't control my mind. its just wandering until i find some idea to latch onto that makes me think something CRAZY, and then I'm back to wondering and picking apart the situation.

[lightstar]

She sounds like a train wreck. I think she will eventually drag you down.

[megvoh]

Why'd she have the abortion, because of her not wanting a kid, not wanting his kid or because of you and her back togetherness?