I am so hurt. I need a mans advice on next steps

[Krislast22]

Hello, long time lurker here but new to posting.

I met someone from out of state two months ago. We went to dinner the first time then i had to go back for work so we hooked up the second time, no sex. I told him that i will be back in four months again, he seemed to like the idea as he hold me to contact him when i return.

When i got home, i foolishly messaged him to say that i wish he was closer implying that i enjoyed spending time with him, not wanting a relationship but i think he might have taken it the wrong way.

When i caught my error i messaged him a "hi there" all i was were crickets and it has been a week.

Im torn for being a fool in the first place but i wonder if when i return in four months if shortly before then, i should try to call him, (not text) to see if he wants to meet up and use that opportunity to clear things out.

Men, is there even a chance for after a guy ghosts you like this?

[lightstar]

he probably doesn't want to do the whole long distance thing. You should move on and meet a guy closer to home

[Krislast22]

he probably doesn't want to do the whole long distance thing. You should move on and meet a guy closer to home

I dont understand. He didnt hint anything about doing the long distance thing. I am wondering if he doesnt want a relationship and mistook my comment to him about him being far away. I have to go back in four months so i would like to know if i just go but not contact him to let him know im in town. In the meantime, i dont plan on contacting him until maybe closer to the date to give him some time to digest all of this. I dont know....

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I dont understand. He didnt hint anything about doing the long distance thing. I am wondering if he doesnt want a relationship and mistook my comment to him about him being far away. I have to go back in four months so i would like to know if i just go but not contact him to let him know im in town. In the meantime, i dont plan on contacting him until maybe closer to the date to give him some time to digest all of this. I dont know....

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Hi OP here again.

I just had a thought from the other end of the spectrum. What if the culprit was the message and he took it as me not wanting a relationship from far away but he did....until i said that. Im so confused.

[Wakeup]

He's not thinking anything about what you said. He's just not interested enough to consider what you meant. If he was interested enough, he would have replied even if his response totally ignored your comment.

You say you didn't have sex. Did you have sexual interaction? (oral or anything in the like?) Sorry, have to ask because too many people these days think that just because there was no intercourse, they think there was no sex.

Anyway: I'd forget him and stop worrying that you said the wrong thing. If something as banal as "I wish you lived closer" scared him off, then he certainly wouldn't be a good prospect for anything serious.

[Krislast22]

No, we just made out. He wanted more and i said no and that i will be back implying that we can do it then.

The more i think about this, the more i think he just wanted the sex and since i did not put out, he didnt want to invest anymore time with me with the potential hope that he might get it later.

[Wakeup]

I'm thinking the same thing. Pffft on him.... you can do better and good on you for not being HIS one night stand.

You can hold your head high.

[lightstar]

I think he just wanted a fling knowing you will be leaving soon. He thought he could just hit it and quit it.

I don't understand why you are sooo upset? Hes one guy that you barely know that you just kissed..

I would not cry over spilt milk. The bloke is not worth it

[Krislast22]

The part i have the most difficulty getting past is that i had so much chemistry with him so i thought we just hit it off like we knew each other for years. The other part of me is that i invested so much energy getting ready to see him as in planning my outfits, hair, etc you know the girly stuff. That, i know is all my own doing.

On the flip side, why did he agree so positively when i said i will be back and he kept on insiting for me to call him when im back know this after we made out. Its like he flipped a switch. Thats the other part i cannot get over.

[Wakeup]

You can get over it. It was two bloody dates for goodness sakes.

How did you meet him?