Does he dislike me?

[JackieT]

Hi guys!

So I'm having the following issue.
I started university last year and after some time noticed a guy in one of my classes. It was a huge class with almost 1,500 people but he still caught my eye. I would sometimes look in his direction during class and catch him looking in mine (which of course could have been just a general direction and not him specifically looking at me). I had a lot of stuff going on so I didn't pursue it. Months later, I passed him on my way to our final and he smiled at me. Again, I didn't do anything about it because I was in a rush and nervous about the exam.
This year we’re in a class again and things are different. This time we’re only 90 students and the lecture room is relatively cozy. I sit in the front to record the lectures while he sits like 10 rows behind me (which is also kind of above me since the rows build an acclivity). Every time I turn around our eyes meet (well yeah, I occasionally turn around to look at him. Guilty.)
Couple weeks ago I met a friend at the lobby of one of the campus buildings after that lecture me and the other guy go to. While we were talking, Blondie (yep, that's him) went to the men’s room across from me and my friend. After he came out, instead of walking directly to the entrance/exit he took an unnecessary detour and passed us. I might again be interpreting things into what's really nothing but I found it strange. Why take a detour? Don't humans tend to take the easiest and fastest route?
A day after that, I spent a couple hours at the library. I soon found out that he is usually there on that day at that time. He would then prefer one of the computers you have to stand in front of rather than sit. I on the other hand write my assignments and essays there so I prefer to sit. So I sat there and did my thing and he just came out of another room and sat down diagonally from me. Again the stupid glance exchanging game until he left.
I honestly thought that he might be really shy or something since in the course of a year I have never seen him talk to anyone. A guy like him should be swarmed by girls.
Anyways, when I’ve talked to him last week for the first time he seemed very composed and cool (not unfriendly or anything, just confident). We were at the library again and as I passed him and I thought “Oh, what the hell” and stopped at his desk. I just asked him smiling if we were in a class together last year because he seemed familiar. He returned the smile and asked me what course I was thinking of. He then inquired about my major and my academic plans for the future (turns out we have the same major and similar goals). He looked at me all this time and averted his glance only once, namely when he said he couldn't remember me. I asked him for his name and introduced myself shaking his hand. We talked about university stuff, the course, and crap like that. After 10 minutes I said I'll let him continue with his work or whatever he was doing and he said “OK, I'll see you in class.” I have noticed that for a guy he talks very quietly.
Naive little me thought I closed the deal. I just had expressed my interest not too explicitly but not that obscurely either.
Some weeks ago, we had a test. I spend the hour before the test sitting in the hallway across the door to our lecture room, studying. He usually goes directly inside when he arrives as he’s always there before I am. This time, he sat on the floor too next to some other guy. I couldn't directly see him since he was sitting on the same side of the hallway as me and a large garbage can was standing between us. After like 15 minutes he got up and entered the room. I didn’t look up from my notes but I heard him. The week after he stood directly in front of me in the hallway and I felt like he was kind of waiting for me to say something but I didn't because I'm stupid. Last week he passed me on his way out of the lecture room. I wanted to say something to him but I was so surprised that he actually “did something” that I forgot about it. He raised his eyebrows in recognition and mumbled something like “Hi” or “Bye” and quickly left. This week I brought a friend along to lecture because he was killing time. We sat in front of the lecture room with another friend of mine and talked and laughed and stuff. Blondie passed us, looked at me, and went inside.
It’s now a month ago that I've talked to him and last week was the first and do far last time he at least greeted me.
Next week’s our last class this year.

My question now is: would you say I'm right assuming he dislikes me?



Thank you all for your answers,

JT

[emotionaid]

Hi JT,

From how I've interpreted what you have written, I don't believe that he dislikes you.

Everyone will be different in terms of their social abilities. From what you said that he doesn't talk to other people much, it may be that he is not all that comfortable
with socializing. In terms of what you said that a guy like him would be swarming with girls, and if he was sociable he might be.

It really comes down to whether you see a potential in him, or worth investing your time to understand who he is. If you are, initiate more conversations with him,
express it openly because not everyone is able to interpret signals. Some you just need to make it blatantly clear what your intentions are.

Just think about it, you have nothing to lose really, it's your last class together, whether he remains in your future is entirely up to you.

[JackieT]

Hi emotionaid,

thank you for taking the time to answer my question.
I meant that next week is our last class this year. The course continues in January.

If he doesn't dislike me why does he ignore me? I don't wanna push him and come on too strong.

[emotionaid]

Oh fair enough, I guess everybody is a little different, sometimes he may come across as ignoring you but it might not be intentional. Everyone has a different degree of social skills and experience
It could even be that he is afraid to make the first move or initiate.

[JackieT]

It could even be that he is afraid to make the first move or initiate.

I made the first move already!

[emotionaid]

As in each time you bump into each other. Just because you initiated a conversation once doesn't mean he's comfortable in initiating a conversation when he sees you again.

[JackieT]

I just wish he would give me some kind of signal that so I know whether it's worth pursuing or whether I'm wasting my time.

[emotionaid]

Sometimes it's hard to pick up signals because of the fear of misinterpreting it. If a guy initiated a conversation with you it doesn't mean that they are into you. Likewise I wouldn't take every girls initiative to be a signal, some people are just nice and that's why its hard. If you truly want to know just be straightforward some guys need to be directed.

[bvegas2020]

Find the match for you. whereweallmeet, a place where we provide events, dating ideas and personal service in finding the match for you.

[basilandthyme]

Hi emotionaid,

thank you for taking the time to answer my question.
I meant that next week is our last class this year. The course continues in January.

If he doesn't dislike me why does he ignore me? I don't wanna push him and come on too strong.

Do you know that there are a myriad of emotions between *dislike* and *want to hang out*? Have you never met a person who you're ambivalent about? You'll be social if the need arises, but you don't actively seek or dislike them?

I reckon it's entirely likely that he is simply ambivalent about you.