Devastated over a user.

[MarkM]

We love each other but can not get along. I gave her a $10,000 check to move out last year and she tore it up and now she moved out 3 weeks ago and I'm going nuts. Her own daughters keep telling me to stay away and that she is immature. I just have to get over this feeling of devastation. None of my friends can stand her because she talks so much. I am still crazy about her.

[AdminOnline]

Hi MarkM and welcome to Love Forum - Online Relationship Discussion! Hope you enjoy your stay here.

[breathe123]

Why did she need that much to move? Was she moving countries? That's crazy.

Sometimes you can follow your heart or you can listen to the voices of others ( not all can be wrong or see the same things, even her own children)

[MarkM]

She left everything up north to be with me. Her friends and family. We are still trying to see each other but I don't think its going to work.

[breathe123]

To be with you in what capacity ~ did you propose & were engaged? why else would she move away to be with you?

What are your ages? you mentioned she was immature as told by her daughters.

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Also in your thread title you call her a user ~ but you said she tore up the big money you offered so how did she use you?

[MarkM]

I am 59 she is 46. We meet and it was love at first sight. No we weren't going to get married. She was supposed to help me out with my business but did not like being stuck in the house all day with no one to talk to. I paid 6500.00 for doctor bills, 3500 for lipo, 2900 for her dentist, and so on. She came down here from CT to Fl and within 3 months she said she thinks she is going through menopause, hot flashes, no sex drive. She moved to an apartment close by and her daughter was staying with me. I helped her fix up the apartment and bought furniture for her, then her daughter moved out and now she doesn't respond to my texts. Also spent 2700.00 on one daughters DUI and 1500 on the other daughters DUI. She tore up the check because she wanted to try to make it work. She called me today and wants to get together. I just need to move on but I'm still crazy about her.

[melancholia]

I am 59 she is 46. We meet and it was love at first sight. No we weren't going to get married. She was supposed to help me out with my business but did not like being stuck in the house all day with no one to talk to. I paid 6500.00 for doctor bills, 3500 for lipo, 2900 for her dentist, and so on. She came down here from CT to Fl and within 3 months she said she thinks she is going through menopause, hot flashes, no sex drive. She moved to an apartment close by and her daughter was staying with me. I helped her fix up the apartment and bought furniture for her, then her daughter moved out and now she doesn't respond to my texts. Also spent 2700.00 on one daughters DUI and 1500 on the other daughters DUI. She tore up the check because she wanted to try to make it work. She called me today and wants to get together. I just need to move on but I'm still crazy about her.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but all of this is your fault. You offered to finance her lifestyle, so what do you expect from her? Clearly she was living a life of luxury that she can't uphold on her own. You decided to take care of that for her. That's how these things work. People stay in relationships with people when they get something out of it that they want. She wanted financial security, you were willing to give it to her. Now you've broken up and you are free to move on. Stop focusing on her, and start focusing on yourself.

[megvoh]

Does she not work? You shouldn't be paying for her daughters DUI's - blasted they are as immature - pot calling kettle much on calling their own mom immature.
The daughters sound like leeches too, stop paying for all these huge costly extras for all of them only food and shelter and if daughters are over 18 they can live elsewhere or she pays their way and bills not you, ok?
Mate, you'll be house poor soon if you keep this routine up.

[breathe123]

[MENTION=81948]MarkM[/MENTION] ~ Thanks for answering my questions & it does seem she took advantage of your kindness, love for her and genoursity from the things you listed paying for in your above post.

Were they all gifts to her, so asking for any payment in return? Did you always offer to pay or did she always drop hints wanting you to pay a& you felt guilty and offered?

I agree with the others & you shouldn't give out any more cash offerings to her or her children, do you think if you stop being a cash machine she won't love you anymore? She should love you regardless and not need or want anything monetary in return. Sit & go through your past with her and think on if she really loved you or loved all you were giving her. You are still crazy for her because of your attachment to her & helping her & her family. When reality sets in you'll move on easier.