Hi all,
First post here. I'm coming to the Love Forum community because I'm in a situation that's really, really, really driving me crazy.
I am a university student (20 years old). Last year, I was in a 10 month long relationship which I ended because the girl really didn't treat me the way I deserved and also being with her really, really stunted my freedom and personal development whilst in university. I decided that given the person I am, I would remain single during university and just casually date around to discover what I type of women I like best, develop myself personally, and focus on my main goals (career, GPA, meeting people, etc).
I have been very happy being single under my new philosophy (6 months so far) and everything has been going great. However, one month ago, this philosophy of mine has been put under fire. I met this gorgeous, intelligent and amazing girl out at a party one night. We've been talking every day since, we go out on dates once a week and even get lunch on occasion during the school day. We've made out twice, but no more than that. I am honestly falling for this girl so hard despite me doing everything to fight it. When I'm with her everything is better, and when I'm not in her presence she's on my mind all the time. I hate it. I don't want to be in love. I just have the worst feeling that everything is going to go to shit like my last relationship due to how old I am. I feel i'm absolutely not in the life place to be in a relationship. Part of me wants to just get completely rejected by her or catch her with another guy or something so I can move on from this and the other part of me would absolutely be devastated to know that someone else is with this wonderful girl. Under normal circumstances, I would date this girl 100%. So far, she's everything I want in a woman. But yet again, I've only known her for a month or so. She also broke up with her last boyfriend a week before I met her due, so I don't think she wants to get more serious either, which is good I guess.
So what do I do? How do I play this? Do I keep casually dating her as I have been doing? Do I just stop completely? Is my relationship philosophy over the top and should I attempt to try and actually make this girl my girlfriend?
I need help! My emotions are stuck in a total tug-of-war.
Best,
Jean