i feel sad and broken??

[natashalove]

So 4 months ago, I got in touch with a guy whom I forced myself to like.
I was extremely depressed and was going through a really horrible phase where I had no hope in my life. Until I discovered him.

After I came to know him, I did feel better and started getting distracted and focusing on him rather than thinking about rubbish things all the time.
He is a very creative and artistic person and coincidently both of us share the same hobbies and interests. Because of my depression and mental trauma, I had given up all of my hobbies but seeing him do all the art works and stuff inspired me and I started doing art once again.
I never cooked nor was interested in but he can cook and that motivated me and I started learning how to cook.
He inspires me to become better. He was the sole reason why I would smile when I never thought I would.

I would feel suicidal at times but if at any moment, I saw his face and silly antics, I would start smiling and laughing for no reason at all.

Unfortunately, he was only here for 6 months and he left for his he country, UK.

Today, I feel much better because of him. It he wasn't around I wouldn't feel normal again.
But I miss him acutely. Nothing lessens the heartache. Even if we talk, I still can't get over my sadness. I miss him like hell and every love song reminds me of him. Sometimes I wish I had discovered him earlier, wishing I met him earlier. Sometimes I even had crazy thoughts like I wish I had a time machine and could turn back time and meet him long before.

He influences me as a person. He saved me from causing disaster and he was the only person whom I could always bank upon. It was like I knew he can help me and I would rush to him the moment I felt extremely sick with worry and misery.

He was never my type. He is younger than me by a year and five months. And there are lots of things I wanted in a man but he fits nothing of the criteria I had. Except for the fact he's extremely handsome and has the most beautiful intense eyes.
But none of the "types" could do anything for me except him.

The problem is he lives in UK and jets between US and UK for work. I really want to stay close to him and near him.

Why do I feel this way? And what should I do? I can't bear this separation.

[Wakeup]

Does he like you the way you like him or is all these feelings you have for him a secret?