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Thread: I need some advice/help

  1. #1
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    I need some advice/help

    Okay guys, I don't usally ask these kind of questions. But I am in need of some questions answered.

    I have a friend who is a female, she is my best friend. But I am so in love with her and she knows it. We have lunch together once a week. But she has a boyfriend. Whom used to my friend but he got jealous when me and his girlfriend got real close. But he is friends with my twin brother who isn't too fond of me hanging out with his friends girlfriend.

    I am for sure that my friend likes me, because we talk for hours upon hours on the phone after she leaves her boyfriends house. I am the first person she talks to in the morning and the last person she talks to at night. We talk until she falls asleep. I know that she likes me for the sheer fact that she wouldn't want to talk to me that much. for the past 4 months my cell phone usage has been from 1500- 2200 celluar minutes. All free nights and weekends of course

    But my question is, do you think if I kept at the rate I am going, Do you think I could get her to possibly leave her boyfriend who doesn't treat her how she deserves to be treated. Or should I just step back and see what she does if I withdrawl myself from her. I don't want to make her choose.

    Really I guess the real question is What would you do?

    And now she is working a new schedule so she will now be spending 3 wholes days a week with him, I look at it like this. Either they will get closer or just grow apart. Because no matter what he still treats her bad and like a three year old. I have so many thoughts on what I should do and what I need to do, but my heart and mind are both saying different things. I am so confused. Can someone help me out?

    -Thanks
    Joshua

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    Wow, this just sounds stupid to me...sorry. He loves my friend while I love his girlfriend who loves my boyfriend who ate a chicken last night who was with my other girlfriend who is actually a boyfriend....god ..life is WAYY more simple then that. JUST MAKE HER CHOOSE. Be like this "Listen ...*****!..its either you leave him or our little chats on the phone are over"...uhh..just be a little more suttle though lol.
    "Why are you an atheist?"
    "because I paid attention in science class."

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Only-virgins
    just be a little more suttle though lol.
    It's "subtle" dude.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Frasbee
    It's "subtle" dude.
    Sorry Mr. Webster ..It will not happen again.
    "Why are you an atheist?"
    "because I paid attention in science class."

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by confused jc
    I have a friend who is a female, she is my best friend. But I am so in love with her and she knows it. We have lunch together once a week. But she has a boyfriend.

    I am for sure that my friend likes me, because we talk for hours upon hours on the phone after she leaves her boyfriends house. I am the first person she talks to in the morning and the last person she talks to at night. We talk until she falls asleep.

    Or should I just step back and see what she does if I withdrawl myself from her. I don't want to make her choose.

    Really I guess the real question is What would you do?

    And now she is working a new schedule ...
    Ya, OV is right. Make her choose if you are brave/care enough!! I am rather biased on this subject (ha!) but you can't make someone leave who doesn't want to. And believe me, ppl will stay w/partners out of a sense of 'loyalty', esp. if young. Shake her up, tell her how you feel, what you want for you both. THEN let her decide what she wants.

    BTW, if she is speaking to you that much, and is open about her feelings to you, she really likes you or loves you. No question.
    Good luck, tell us how it goes!
    Last edited by indigosoul; 15-06-05 at 03:54 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Only-virgins
    Sorry Mr. Webster ..It will not happen again.
    Just givin' you a heads up.

    It's a common mistake afterall.

    If you choose to continue spelling it that way don't let me stop you.

  7. #7
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    Damn dude I was in your EXACT shoes back in my last year of High School... when you say that you were the first person she talked to in the morning and the last person before she falls asleep.. wow LoL that's exactly how we were. And she was dating one of my best friends, who after he realized how close we were stopped talking to me. I felt incredibly guilty, that even when they broke up I wouldn't do anything with her.. so she dated some other scumbag guy for awhile and then I showed her what a scumbag he was and she left him, then we dated for 3 years, so hopefully everything works out for you.

    Just be honest.. it's a sticky situation man but what I would honestly do if I were you.. is keep going with the flow and see how things go once she is spending more time with him I guess.. it's OBVIOUS she likes you if you guys talk that much, so you might wanna ask her "If we're so close, how come you're with him?" and maybe try to get her to admit some of her feelings for you.. at least that's how I did it.. and since I was in almost your identical situation to you, I think it won't be too hard for her to admit how she feels about you. But yeah I would definately keep it cool and go with the flow and SHOW her why you're a better man than him, don't pressure her or anything into a choose me or him situation. But definately try to get her feelings for you out of her and in the open, maybe by admitting your feelings for her in a subtle way (not just "I wanna be your man") and see how it goes..

    Definately keep us updated though, you can PM me or IM me for more chat but I'm very very interested to see how this turns out, since I can relate well to it. Good luck bro.

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    Thanks! in a few weeks me and her are going to the casino's. Just me and her! No boyfriend! So that is a big step.

    I will let you all know how it turns out.

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    Well I found out some info today, well let me tell you what transpired.

    Saturday night I went to a car show with some other girls I know from Kentucky. We got tired of hanging out at the car show, so we went to Steak And Shake. Well my friend calls me and she is like what are you doing? I said I am at steak and shake with some friends from Kentucky. She immeadiatly asks if it is a certain someone. I answer the question and she says "Oh" and then she got awfully quite Then she was like I want to go see a movie, I will talk to my boyfriend and see if he wants to go, and she is like I will call and let you know if we are going to the movies or not. I was like okay, I will go to the movies with the both of you, just so I can see you She chuckles because she knew I was going to say that. Well they ended up going to a party and I went back to hang out with the girls from Steak and Shake.

    Well either the girl I like or someone else told someone whom I trust alot that my friend who I have a crush on got real jealous of me hanging out with the girls on Saturday night. So this means she really does care for me. But she is still with the guy who treats her like crap.. I am going to wait it out because it seems like it may work out soon enough. I am just so damned confused..

    -Josh

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    Dude, keep us posted. This is good stuff...I'm also in the same position.
    -to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.- e.e.cummings

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    I will do.

  12. #12
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    Here is a question -

    Imagine you are this girl's boyfriend, and some dude is doing what you are doing. What would you say to that guy?

    Imagine you are married, and some guy is doing exactly what you are doing with your wife, with these exact same manipulative and conniving schemes. What words would you exchange with this person?

    Sure, all the vultures in this thread are saying "Go for it ROFL!"

    You are participating in this activity with a woman (girl) who is in a relationship, and you know it. You are nothing more than a "home wrecker" in my book.

    And besides that fact, she has a boyfriend and is doing this shit! Do you really think she knows what a commitment is all about? What love really is? What it means to break someone's heart? Do you?

    No. Neither of you children do. Good luck in your "relationship".
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    Same thing I was thinking. Can you blame your friend for not talking to you? Whats to stop her from doing this to you if you do get together?

    Starting a relationship by ending another is not always the best thing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cybog
    Here is a question -

    Imagine you are this girl's boyfriend, and some dude is doing what you are doing. What would you say to that guy?
    I would say, if you think you''ve got what it takes, try and win her over. Yes, I'm that confident! If she does go, she didn't love me to begin with so that's fine.

    Imagine you are married, and some guy is doing exactly what you are doing with your wife, with these exact same manipulative and conniving schemes. What words would you exchange with this person?
    I would never go after a married woman. Having a g/f and having a wife to me are completely different things...not even close...Being with a g/f is more just about sex then anything...Notice how so many couples barely can stand each other yet sex life is great?

    You are participating in this activity with a woman (girl) who is in a relationship, and you know it. You are nothing more than a "home wrecker" in my book.
    It's done across the planet, whether we like it or not...You can either do it or watch people who do it. I lost my ex because of the exact thing...Any guy out there would do it to you at any time...Not everybody will admit it of course.
    -to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.- e.e.cummings

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    The difference, however, is that I am not desperate enough to actually date a bottom-feeder who would willingly be "won over" by the Bigger Better Deal.

    I learned that lesson long ago. One day you will too. And this "relationship" you think that will transpire as a result of this event? It too will pass in time.

    Either way, you didn't come here for advice. You came here for reassurance in something you were already planning on doing and obviously won't listen to reason.

    "They did it to me, so I should do it to them. Do unto others before they do unto you". These are all fantastic ideals, but only when they benefit you, right?
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