Why do we date A-Holes and Not Good Guys?

[treehugger101]

Why do us girls like dating the asshole, bad boys, that treat us like crap as opposed to the good guys that treat us right and well?

[basilandthyme]

Why do us girls like dating the asshole, bad boys, that treat us like crap as opposed to the good guys that treat us right and well?

I've got no idea why some women do this. I've only ever liked guys who treat me well.

[friendsfirst]

This really smart man I know explained it to me a few hundred times...it shows dominance, being the "alpha male". Women like to be shown "who is boss." It sounds dumb, but I can see a million examples all around me. If you have this super nice guy, one who treats you like a princess, 99.9% of women are going to take him for granted, push him around, and eventually lose respect for this push-over. Once you lose respect...the relationship is doomed, hence why we end up with assholes who pretended to be nice guys in the beginning and then do things just to piss you off and turn around and say, "Am I nice now?"

[treehugger101]

This really smart man I know explained it to me a few hundred times...it shows dominance, being the "alpha male". Women like to be shown "who is boss." It sounds dumb, but I can see a million examples all around me. If you have this super nice guy, one who treats you like a princess, 99.9% of women are going to take him for granted, push him around, and eventually lose respect for this push-over. Once you lose respect...the relationship is doomed, hence why we end up with assholes who pretended to be nice guys in the beginning and then do things just to piss you off and turn around and say, "Am I nice now?"

Well why pretend to be nice when in truth they are just assholes?

[friendsfirst]

Because before you fall in love and such, if they're an asshole, you are just going to walk away. If there isn't a connection keeping you there and they don't call you for 3 days or play their video game and ignore you, then what would you do? Move on, but once you love them, you make excuses for their asshole behavior and still want to be with them.

[treehugger101]

Haha that is true. So then why do we treat the good/nice guys like crap?

[friendsfirst]

Haha that is true. So then why do we treat the good/nice guys like crap?

Because we don't respect them and take them for granted. No respect=no relationship

[basilandthyme]

Because we don't respect them and take them for granted. No respect=no relationship

Which says an awful lot of bad stuff about the women who don't respect good guys.

[dontaskme]

Because we don't respect them and take them for granted. No respect=no relationship

I know a lot of alpha males who aren't assholes and they adore and respect their women.

Women who go after the assholes are the ones with poor self esteem. They don't think they deserve better so they allow themselves to be treated like garbage.

[Lilly328]

Not we :/ Haven't been with anyone who treats me like crap, nor did I treat anyone like crap.

Anyway, i really never knew why. I guess opposite does attracts for some people.

[smarta$$]

I know a lot of alpha males who aren't assholes and they adore and respect their women.

True. A man can be "alpha" and still be kind. This isn't about women liking assholes... we don't. It's about liking men who have a backbone, and let's face it... men who are labeled "nice" are usually the kind who lack strength.

[lightstar]

Women who like assholes are trying to change them. They have poor self esteem and think that if he will change for her, then that will make her "special". It is an ego thing. That is the attraction to begin with

but then the more he rejects her and hurts her, it creates this need in her to prove herself to him that she is worthy coz she is trying to prove to herself that she is worth something

this is usually how domestic abuse starts out. he sees a vulnerable girl with low confidence craving acceptance and love but he will only give her crumbs at a time and takes complete control of her over time.

That is why women with good self esteem and self worth avoid these assholes but more to the point these assholes avoid strong women because they cant handle them

[treehugger101]

Oh I see. Well then what is the right thing to do as far as guys and girls and the whole dating, being with someone ordeal?

[melancholia]

The right thing to do is love yourself first. Then you won't fall for assholes.

[treehugger101]

I never understood that love yourself thing, what does that even mean?