Is she gone for good?

[Leftinthedust]

Hi ladies. I would like some opinions on a sticky situation Ive been left with, and am really unsure if there is still a chance for a future or if its over for good.
For almost a year I was seeing a woman. It started as a casual relationship at first but over time feelings grew and we became somewhat of a undefined couple.
Though there were moments of wondering what the future held for us, and we didn't admit our feelings for one another, they were obviously there and we enjoyed every minute of it. There was no doubt that we wanted to be together but there was a bit of a overhanging situation. When we met she was pregnant but not with the father. In fact, there was no desire on her end to even be with the father. I was accepting of the situation however I did wonder, as did she, what the future would be.
About a month before the baby was born the father came back into the picture to be in the baby's life. At first she did not want him around. She would tell me how annoying he was and that they were just too different to ever amount to anything. I trusted this and offered my opinion that he was at least trying to do the right thing and though he was annoying and still hitting on her, at least he didn't leave her to do it on her own.
A couple months after the baby was born, there was a night where the two of them slept together. Immediately after she came to me and told me about it and how horrible they both felt. Believing her that it was a mistake and seeing the pain she was going through when she told me, I couldn't tell her to get lost or that I didn't want to see her. I was happy she told me and appreciated her that much more for being honest. I was hurt but I didn't want to not be with her.
A couple months later she began to pull away emotionally. Things began to "come up" where she couldn't see me. We started talking less and I knew something was up.
We finally set a time to talk in person. She told me that having a new baby and also working and having family responsibilities she was feeling overwhelmed and I understood this. But she also told me that She was becoming more comfortable with the father of her baby and that she had been thinking of giving them a chance. I let her know that I understood her feelings but that over the last year I had come to love her and I would help her with whatever she needed. She told me that with all she had on her plate she was choosing the route that was the most convienent for her day to day life and though she had her doubts about them working out and that the thought of being with this guy was a sour thought, she thought it was the right thing to do but she felt trapped by the situation.
I let her know that I didn't think that entering into a relationship where you felt trapped or obligated was a good idea but she said she had to know if it could be anything before she gave her heart to me.
I was devastated, and began to realize how much I lost in her. We were so natural together, so organic and happy and it seemed she was forcing herself to be with someone she was so uncertain about. I understood it was what it was and that she needed to know for herself, but the situation to me just seemed wrong.
For some time after I would hear from her. She would tell me she was sorry she would tell me she was having a hard time letting me go and she missed our time together. I would tell her the same and that I wanted to be with her. The last contact I had with her was a text I sent on her birthday. I just said "happy birthday" she replied that she had been thinking about me and missed me. Again I told her that I missed her too. That was the last I heard from her.
This was a woman who admitted to me at one point that she felt I was perfect for her and that she fantasized about us getting married one day. How does it go from that to this?
How can a woman who seemed to be in love with me just leave me for someone she didn't even want to be around?
What are the chances that a forced relationship work out for the sake of a child?
What are the chances that I will hear from her again?
I'm so confused and could use a womans input here.

Thank you.

[lightstar]

having a baby is the most overwhelming emotionally challenging time for a woman where she is very vulnerable and can make decisions she would not normally make under different circumstances. It was a bad move to get involved with her at such a challenging time in her life and it was unlikely you two would work out under those circumstances.

As someone who recently had a child, I can tell you my emotions are all over the place, the hormone changes, the stress, the overwhelming constant changing emotions. It makes you feel very vulnerable and it is a very challenging time. The most important thing is doing what is best for your baby and we all know it is better for a child to grow up with two loving parents so I think its not surprising that she is trying to make things work with him for the sake of her child and their family.

Whether it works long term or not, who knows? but shes trying to do the right thing and shes at a time in her life where she also needs support-emotional, financial, family around to help (his and hers) and she is probably confused too about what she wants

but I honestly don't think I would have the time or energy to date right now if me and my partner split. Its very complicated with a baby and they come first so even if they did split it would be wise for her to just concentrate on herself and the child for now

[Wakeup]

I think you dodged a bullet. You can do better then to be with a woman that still has ties with her baby's father other then that of joint custody. She obviously still has some feelings for him or she wouldn't dream of revisiting a relationship with him. Regardless of what reasons she gives you, her action clearly tell you her truth.

Stop talking to her altogether so that when her relationship with the baby-daddy fails, she doesn't have you and your financial support to fall back on. You were a rebound and she let you down by telling you things she thought would hurt you the least. Most women want the relationship with their child's father to work out. She, by all accounts is no different then those "most."

[Leftinthedust]

Thank you both for responding, its given me some things to think about. Its hard to see any other ideas when youre so caught up in your own thoughts.
I probably should have mentioned that there was no relationship prior between the father and her. The baby was a result of a one night stand when she was on vacation.