Help figuring out someone im interested in..

[LitesOut]

Hello so i needed some help trying to figure out this girl im interested in.. We work together, but doesnt see each other often since we sometimes have different schedules.. she's abit new on d job after transferring from another state, and im more than a year on that job.. for now we are at least been working together for at least nearly 2 months..

me having a personality of a high energy guy and a goofball, from time to time crack up jokes or goof around at work( as long as my boss isnt nearby or im not being unproductive, i can get away with it lol).. and one day with me just goofing off with someone else, abit later she came up to me and said i crack her up.. it came out of nowhere to me as a surprise coz i guess she was paying attention to me( maybe getting to know d personalities of those she works with or checking me out lol)..

so while we were working that day every now and then when we run into each other, she woud say to me " your funny" or "you crack me up".. of course i would take it as a complement since those i know would sometimes tell it to me..

so whenever we get a chance to work d same day again, she would randomly comment to me "your funny" or "you crack me up" when i goof around with my coworkers even though some of my coworkers dont find it funny( sometimes they find it annoying lol).. she would say hi to me, and say my name too whenever we would run into each other..

since i noticed there might some kind of attraction between us, i started flirting with her to measure her interest if she is just messing with me or maybe there is definitely an attraction.. i used my sense of humor to get her attention, and she would keep saying to me either "your funny" or "you crack me up" with smile on her face..

whenever we get a chance to have d same break schedule, our convos has her asking me what music im into, my fave color, my fave shows, and she would tell me as well hers..
whenever we are talking to each other, i lock eyes with her and she does the same and we both never break that eye contact until our convo is over.. she is also smiling(with me smiling as well) while we are having convos..

then maybe a week later after ive started flirting with her, she stopped saying hi to me whenever we would run into each other at work.. she wouldnt even start a convo with me wheneever we are having the same break schedule.. sometimes she would ignore me as if i wasnt there whenever we are closeby working together or run into each other at work.. but whenever we arent too busy with our task, i would try to look like im ignoring her and she would initiate the convo with me and ask me wats up or any topic to talk about..

so right now we are back to wats it like when we first getting to know each other, she's smiling at me and having eye contact when we having convo and sometimes would say to me that im funny.. i told her that im checking out her fave music( the weeknd) and trying to get into it, and will finally start watching her fave tv show( she is into chick flicks, like vampire diaries) just to make her laugh or create a convo with her...


i dont know if she likes me too, but i do believe that she knows that i like her(even though i havent told anyone or her that im starting to get interested in her)

her personality is like a shy quiet introverted girl.. she doesnt seem chatty while working, unless someone chats with her.. she seems like the person who prefers get d work done and get out of here once her shift is over..
but after talking to her and getting to know her abit, she seems a fun person to hangout with and an outgoing and perky type of person..

there is at least nearly a 10year age gap between us, so idk if that age gap is likely going to be a problem when pursing a relationship with her.. she seems mature enough based from some of d convos we had.. and alot comment that i do look like in my early 20's, so someone seeing as together would like a nornal couple..

so right now im just confused as heck about her if there is a spark between us or not.. whether to pursue or not.. is she just beeing a flirt and messing with me or i may have a shot at her?!?!? im abit rusty when it comes to d dating games these days, coz i havent dated anyone in 3 years since ive been busy with life lol..

[lovesickheart]

My opinion is that she stopped talking to you and acted mad because she probably thought she had made it obvious that she was interested but you didnt act on it.
I did the same thing to a guy I worked with. He flirted, locked eyes, etc. but never asked me for my number, never asked me out....
I hope you just bite the bullet and ask her out.
The worst she could do is say no.... then you know, and then you move on and just be her funny coworker.

[angel_of_death]

Invite her to do something outside of work. If she agrees, then you build from there. If she says no, you got your answer.

[Alopolo]

Hello so i needed some help trying to figure out this girl im interested in.. We work together, but doesnt see each other often since we sometimes have different schedules.. she's abit new on d job after transferring from another state, and im more than a year on that job.. for now we are at least been working together for at least nearly 2 months..

me having a personality of a high energy guy and a goofball, from time to time crack up jokes or goof around at work( as long as my boss isnt nearby or im not being unproductive, i can get away with it lol).. and one day with me just goofing off with someone else, abit later she came up to me and said i crack her up.. it came out of nowhere to me as a surprise coz i guess she was paying attention to me( maybe getting to know d personalities of those she works with or checking me out lol)..

so while we were working that day every now and then when we run into each other, she woud say to me " your funny" or "you crack me up".. of course i would take it as a complement since those i know would sometimes tell it to me..

so whenever we get a chance to work d same day again, she would randomly comment to me "your funny" or "you crack me up" when i goof around with my coworkers even though some of my coworkers dont find it funny( sometimes they find it annoying lol).. she would say hi to me, and say my name too whenever we would run into each other..

since i noticed there might some kind of attraction between us, i started flirting with her to measure her interest if she is just messing with me or maybe there is definitely an attraction.. i used my sense of humor to get her attention, and she would keep saying to me either "your funny" or "you crack me up" with smile on her face..

whenever we get a chance to have d same break schedule, our convos has her asking me what music im into, my fave color, my fave shows, and she would tell me as well hers..
whenever we are talking to each other, i lock eyes with her and she does the same and we both never break that eye contact until our convo is over.. she is also smiling(with me smiling as well) while we are having convos..

then maybe a week later after ive started flirting with her, she stopped saying hi to me whenever we would run into each other at work.. she wouldnt even start a convo with me wheneever we are having the same break schedule.. sometimes she would ignore me as if i wasnt there whenever we are closeby working together or run into each other at work.. but whenever we arent too busy with our task, i would try to look like im ignoring her and she would initiate the convo with me and ask me wats up or any topic to talk about..

so right now we are back to wats it like when we first getting to know each other, she's smiling at me and having eye contact when we having convo and sometimes would say to me that im funny.. i told her that im checking out her fave music( the weeknd) and trying to get into it, and will finally start watching her fave tv show( she is into chick flicks, like vampire diaries) just to make her laugh or create a convo with her...


i dont know if she likes me too, but i do believe that she knows that i like her(even though i havent told anyone or her that im starting to get interested in her)

her personality is like a shy quiet introverted girl.. she doesnt seem chatty while working, unless someone chats with her.. she seems like the person who prefers get d work done and get out of here once her shift is over..
but after talking to her and getting to know her abit, she seems a fun person to hangout with and an outgoing and perky type of person..

there is at least nearly a 10year age gap between us, so idk if that age gap is likely going to be a problem when pursing a relationship with her.. she seems mature enough based from some of d convos we had.. and alot comment that i do look like in my early 20's, so someone seeing as together would like a nornal couple..

so right now im just confused as heck about her if there is a spark between us or not.. whether to pursue or not.. is she just beeing a flirt and messing with me or i may have a shot at her?!?!? im abit rusty when it comes to d dating games these days, coz i havent dated anyone in 3 years since ive been busy with life lol..

i agree with above and i also wanna note you should never pursue someone. thats just weak stalker behaviour. next time you see her be bold and straight up ask her out. otherwise walk away and dont look back.

[LitesOut]

My opinion is that she stopped talking to you and acted mad because she probably thought she had made it obvious that she was interested but you didnt act on it.
I did the same thing to a guy I worked with. He flirted, locked eyes, etc. but never asked me for my number, never asked me out....
I hope you just bite the bullet and ask her out.
The worst she could do is say no.... then you know, and then you move on and just be her funny coworker.

well thnx for sharing your thoughts.. i thought of making a move on her back then and ask her out, but i kinda thought maybe im moving too fast.. so i kinda chatted with her whenever i get the chance, so she would get abit comfortable with me..

i guess when she was was ignoring me back then i thought it was just her personality of being shy-quiet type, so i kinda ignored her to give her some space... i don't want to appear like being too needy by trying to find a way to talk to her...




so right now she told me that she has given her 2 weeks notice coz on her other new job they are fully integrating her schedule.. of course it made me sad, and she can probably tell even without me telling her im sad that we might never see each other again.. she lives on another city and about 20+ mins drive to where we currently work together..
so when her shift ended, she kinda headed towards the area where i was working at to do a bag check(since im a supervisor and i have to check employees bags/purses when they go home).. she rarely does this when we work together, but the timing was perfect; me not too busy and she headed near my area.. told her goodbye and have a good day, and she said see yah later next week.. my guess she might have done this on purpose to see what moves i'll make.. i knew i have to make a bold move since i might never see her again, so called her name and pulled her aside, and asked her if i can have her number.. was probably the most nervous moment for me, coz my voice was trembling when i was talking to her at that time.. idk why coz i've never been nervous asking someone out or asking them for their number..

i didn't got her number coz when i was trying to reach out for a pen on my pocket, i GOT NO FRICKING PEN with me.. i told her that i'll just remember her number, and she told me instead that she will give to me her number next week when she works again.. i thought it was her way of rejection to me and I screwed it up badly by having no pen and me being nervous while talking to her at that time..during our conversation, she didn't say NO at all so i thought it was a good thing and i might have a shot.. and while i was talking to her i noticed her having a big smile that i have never seen from her before, and i believe i saw her blush as well since i noticed her face somewhat reddened...


so im not sure what to make of what happened when i asked for her number.. she didnt gave it to me, but will give it next time i see her.. not sure if she is hesitating or her subtle way of saying no.. or her testing me if im patient or needy..i guess one way to find out is if i see her again and talk to her.. this is just driving me nuts and im just too anxious right now..

[lovesickheart]

i guess when she was was ignoring me back then i thought it was just her personality of being shy-quiet type, so i kinda ignored her to give her some space... i don't want to appear like being too needy by trying to find a way to talk to her...

Nope... she may be shy, but ignoring her was the wrong thing to do. Its too soon for her to even wonder if you are "needy" lol... btw, I hope your name isnt Walter?! LOL! Listening to you might be giving me a little insight into why that guy I mentioned never asked me out. And you should know, I felt hurt, rejected, and played with when he didnt follow through... so dont make her feel that way. Freaking ask her out.

so im not sure what to make of what happened when i asked for her number.. she didnt gave it to me, but will give it next time i see her.. not sure if she is hesitating or her subtle way of saying no.. or her testing me if im patient or needy..i guess one way to find out is if i see her again and talk to her.. this is just driving me nuts and im just too anxious right now..

Here's what to make of it: She didnt give it to you because you didnt have a pen, and she knows you would not remember it! LOL! She will give it to you next week, but why dont you help her out and ask her for it again when you have your pen with you? If I were her, this is what I would want from you, I hope this helps:
Go up to her and say "Ive got my pen, can I get your number now?" with a big smile on your face. AFter she gives it to you, ask her if she would like to get together sometime and then TEXT HER later that night to say "Hey, this is "your name" just texting you so you have my number.

BTW, Im just curious how old you are? I just wonder if the guy I had this experience with could have been this shy or unsure as well. He's a grown man with kids.

[LitesOut]

Here's what to make of it: She didnt give it to you because you didnt have a pen, and she knows you would not remember it! LOL! She will give it to you next week, but why dont you help her out and ask her for it again when you have your pen with you? If I were her, this is what I would want from you, I hope this helps:
Go up to her and say "Ive got my pen, can I get your number now?" with a big smile on your face. AFter she gives it to you, ask her if she would like to get together sometime and then TEXT HER later that night to say "Hey, this is "your name" just texting you so you have my number.

BTW, Im just curious how old you are? I just wonder if the guy I had this experience with could have been this shy or unsure as well. He's a grown man with kids.

well im gonna try this "pen" line on her when i see her again... lol thnx for helping me out with some additional pick up line.. its kinda weird for me asking random internet folks for dating advice.. but i guess its different and good to hear other people's experience, and sometimes i find it useful than what i advice you can get from a friend that you know.. lol

well im around 29, but some consider me i look like in my early 20's and even as young as 19 lol.. i guess its in the genes.. i dont consider myself entirely shy.. im sometimes quiet first when i meet new folks to get accustomed to their personalities, then the real me comes out when i get comfortable with them.. i guess when it comes to her, i was just unsure what to make of her due to her personality.. been out of the dating game for awhile, so my "skills" are quiet rusty lol..

[TheEvilJester]

After your first post, my advice to you would have been to just ask her our/ask for her number. You won't know unless you ask. ....But you've done that, so good for you! Heck, in fact, her situation makes your decision even easier. If you ask her out and she isn't interested, she's leaving the company soon anyway. So, no awkwardness of having to work with the gal who shot you down. Whereas, if she is interested, that also removes the complications of dating a co-worker. So, much better situation either way.

As lovesick said, I wouldn't read any more into the missing pen situation than exactly just that.... that she didn't give you her number right then and there because you didn't have anywhere to write it down. Though.... should the need ever present itself in the future again, I would say just ask her to tell you her number and put it in your cell phone then and there as she is telling you.

Still, from the way you describe it, it sounds like she was interested. I could certainly be wrong, but it doesn't sound like she was just agreeing to give your her number to be polite. So, yeah, the next time you get a chance, just ask her again. Maybe even make a little joke of it like saying "I've got that pen now!" ;-)

The only way to find out if she's interested as well is to give it a try, and you've taken the first step in that. Good luck to you. I hope it goes well.

[LitesOut]

so i was able to see her again today after several days of not seeing her.. she was assigned in the same area as im usually at and we closely worked today for several hours.. was awkward for abit coz i was still so nervous to talk to her, so i resorted back to the silent treatment method lol.. i was so nervous my hand was shaking and i was trying to avoid talking to her and i was trying to work on a different area... and after awhile she initiated the convo with me, and it got me relaxed and started normal convo with her.. locked eyes while talking with her, giggling and laughing at my cheesy jokes, but never seen her twirl her hair while talking to her..

so far i was getting positive vibes from her that day that after work(i was scheduled to clock out half an hour early than her), i waited for her and walked with her to her car.. i then asked for her number and she then gave it to me.. can't see her reaction at that moment coz it was somewhat dark already(no streetlights nearby and i was busy typing her number.. was likely good based from what happened so far during d day.. forgot to do the "pen" line on her since i was so psyched on getting her number lol.. im feeling cloud 9 on my way home lol, until i made a knuckledhead decision..


was watching a ball game when i fell asleep and woke up 2 hours later with the hoops game i wanna watch over already.. still with my head aching for abit, i boneheadedly decided to screw the wait for "2-3 days before calling her" rule and decided to call her that night even though she is likely about to go to bed(called around quarter till 10pm).. she picked it up.. asked her hows it going.. she sounded tired and told me she was busy doing something, and go to bed in a few minutes.. it became an awkward phone convo between us, of course i said goodbye and she said see you tomorrow at work.. after our phone convo ended, i realized i f**ked it up so bad i might as well shoot myself and forget her.. it was a completely RETARDED DECISION on my end.. i shud have likely texted her instead, but IMO that doesnt feel like a good way to connect with someone your interested in..

with this awkward phone call with her, it kinda blew away my confidence on likely how to "connect" with her through the phone.. it now makes it feel like im needy, when my intention to call her that night was just to "minor" flirt.. since it is likely we have 1 to 3 more days left of working together, idk how we can keep that spark going between us once we no longer see each other and have to rely with the phone on communicating with each other.. its even going to likely gonna be awkward when we see again today.. she told me yesterday what time she works and im scheduled to come in an hour later.. she told me she will likely be gone by d time i start, but i told her i'll come in early so we can chat abit and she was ok with.. now idk if i shud even show up to see her and talk to her for abit..


it feels like me and her "connected" that there might be something between us thats worth pursuing.. i wouldnt say at this time that im in love with her, coz honestly i cant really answer that question.. all i feel right now is i just want her and sometimes i cant get her off my mind when im not doing anything and just chilling..
havent dated a girl with a personality that "intrigues" me and makes me this happy whenever im around her.. even my previous ex gf's never made me feel this good when we were still in d early process of dating..



any advice?? is this a bigger deal on d long run or its not and im just trying to make a big deal out of it..

i havent even asked her out yet, and it feels like im on strike 2 lol.. i certainly dont want to strikeout and i just want to hit the homerun( well im not simply trying to get into her pants, as im more interested in getting to know her more)

[lovesickheart]

I think you must either be a Cancer or a Pisces? LOL!
You are "totally blowing this relationship" in your mind before you have even gone out with this girl. At the rate youre going, youll be divorced or widowed from her before you ever ask her out. (Sorry, just kidding with you!)
Chill.... don't worry about messing up over the phone call. She was likely excited that you called. Did you go in early? I hope you didn't ignore her again because you were embarrassed??? You did, didn't you? I think you should consider keeping in touch with this girl for a while through text or email. Then when the nerves are a little calmer, ask her out. Youll be fine!
And on a side note, if this one doesn't go well, then you've had some practice for the next one that comes along!
Stay positive, have confidence, and keep us posted!

[LitesOut]

I think you must either be a Cancer or a Pisces? LOL!
You are "totally blowing this relationship" in your mind before you have even gone out with this girl. At the rate youre going, youll be divorced or widowed from her before you ever ask her out. (Sorry, just kidding with you!)
Chill.... don't worry about messing up over the phone call. She was likely excited that you called. Did you go in early? I hope you didn't ignore her again because you were embarrassed??? You did, didn't you? I think you should consider keeping in touch with this girl for a while through text or email. Then when the nerves are a little calmer, ask her out. Youll be fine!
And on a side note, if this one doesn't go well, then you've had some practice for the next one that comes along!
Stay positive, have confidence, and keep us posted!

lol a LEO.. a Leo that just lost his pride and looking to get it back lol...

her excited when i surprised her by calling later that night, maybe?? idk what was her reaction was since i didnt see it at that time lol.. but based from the way she sounded, it seems that she was not interested talking at that time(maybe tired or distracted).. and she completely sounded differently from the one i was talking to in person.. that convo made me think its a bad sign that she might not be interested in talking to me

and during saturday yes i came in early before she is about to go home.. but i didnt came inside the workplace, and hangout outside with someone else coz of how embarrassed i was lol.. havent called her or texted her yet since my last phone call to her on friday night..

so today will be the last day that both of us will be working together since im scheduled for evening shifts for the rest of the week.. she'll be long gone by the time i start.. so today i'll do my best to break the ice and get my charm back on her, or i'll have to start doing something incredibly stupid to make her laugh at me lol.. all the friendsi know has told me to ask her out, and i do intend to ask her out.. this "screw up" made my plans take a step back lol..

[TheEvilJester]

Man, this is uncanny. Are you sure you are a real person and not one of the voices in my head? Or maybe I'm secretly just one of the voices in your head. LOL! The way you think, and they way you talk about this situation, you remind me so much of myself. I deal with all that same self doubt and second guessing type stuff when I like a gal. I realize that makes it sound like I should be the last person giving you advice. How can I advise you when I can't even stop myself from doing the same goofy stuff?

The truth is, I honestly think that makes me uniquely qualified to offer my thoughts and advice. I know, from experience, how you feel and what you are going through. I've also learned that I do this and know that, when I do, it is usually just me over-thinking things. Of course, the trick is being able to know that and actually apply it. It can be so hard not to let your mind go crazy.

So, if nothing else, I hope I can at least help be the rational voice that you've been unable to engage in yourself....

You are over-thinking things. I know because I do the same thing. Should you have called right away the very first night after she gave you her number? Probably not. LOL! Still, I find it highly doubtful that she could be interested in you.... but then suddenly change her mind because you called so soon after getting her number. Either she's interested, and she'd be glad you called, or she's not interested and that wasn't going to magically change because you waited an appropriate number of days.

I would also say for calling somebody for the very first time, you should probably put something of a reasonable time limit on that. I mean, 10:00 PM isn't THAT late, but still, you have no idea when somebody tends to go to sleep. For me, I don't go to sleep for a few hours at that point.... but I still consider that too late for somebody to be calling me unless there is a good reason or they are somebody close enough to me that I don't mind (such as family).

The thing is, though, if she's really interested in you, that's not going to change so easily. One awkward conversation is not going to change that. Believe me, I know just how you feel, though. Bottom line, though... let's play Devil's advocate here. Pretend she was very interested in you.... then you call her right away and suddenly she loses interest because of that. Does that really sound like somebody you'd want to be with anyway? Would you really want to be with somebody so shallow and fickle? Good God, even if you DID start dating, what other minor little offense would cause the whole thing to explode?

I know how excited you are.... but just think of it this way. She should be just as excited to go out with you. If she's not, that's her loss. If she is, she's certainly not going to change her mind because you may be a little shy/a bit tongue-tied around her. I know from experience how hard this can be, but just try as best you can to relax. Take a deep breath and realize that as much as you'd love to be with her, she too would be just as lucky to be with you.

I don't mean to imply you should be cocky, like your are God's gift to women or something. I just mean you need to remind yourself that you are pretty darn swell yourself. Not only that, but she is just a human being just like you. Maybe she is super awesome and everything you think you see in her... but even if she is, she's still a human being all the same. She's no better or worse than you. God forbid, if you tried to date and it didn't go well, that wouldn't mean you blew it, it would just mean she was not right for you.

So, take a deep breath and just do your best. I know it can be hard, but just engage your rational side when you can. Instead of gut-reactions like when you called her right away even though you thought maybe you shouldn't, take the time to step back and make decision from a more level-head.

In time, if it goes well, you won't even need to worry about that anymore. If/when you get to know her better, you'll be better able to adjust and not drive yourself quite so crazy with all this self-doubt and second guessing. For the time being, just try your best to engage your rational side and remember that she should feel just as lucky to get a chance with you as you feel to get a chance with her.

Good luck to you! Go out there and get her! Let this twisted, evil creature live vicariously through you since I can't seem to apply my own advice. LOL!

[lovesickheart]

Update please!?
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day (blehhhh!!!)... but do you have a date? Come on LitesOut... curious minds want to know, hows it going???
And what about you, TheEvilJester... hows everything with you on this horrible day for singles?

[TheEvilJester]

I mean, this thread is not about me, so I don't want to get too off topic. But, you asked, so I'll just make it quick. Honestly, Valentine's Day never bothered me that much. I don't really like it all that much even when I am in a relationship (though it sucks much worse when you aren't) but it doesn't bother me THAT much.

And, frankly, I've not been in that great a place for a while now. I take it one day at a time. This week has been better than last week. I'll live. These days, I don't really believe there is any hope for me... but maybe I'll live long enough for life to prove me wrong. God knows I refuse to give up for some stupid reason I can't understand when sometimes I just wish I could. So, maybe it is just a matter of time.

But, I'd be much more interested in hearing an update from LitesOut. Any further developments with this gal?