My Fiancé refuses to avoid his Ex

[Miss_L84]

We've been off and on for 8 years and we've just got engaged in October 2015. His family keeps inviting his ex girl to special occasions (birthdays, Fourth of July) and my Fiancé makes little effort to tell them how disrespectful it is to me. What makes matters worse is that he has no problem kicking with her along with his family. Since we've been together, he has cheated on me with her a few times and even had a pregnancy scare with her ( he wasn't the father).

He keeps trying to convince me that he don't care about her and that he is there for his family, so he continues to go regardless of how it hurts me. He said I was being selfish and said I wanted him to stay away from his family and that makes me feel so terrible to the point that I force myself to accept that he is going to be around her. The main reason we've been off and on was because of him being around that girl. He says all the time," Why would I propose to you if I wanted my ex?" Am I overreacting ?

[jrharvey]

Ok the fact that he cheated on you with her and had a pregnancy scare makes this a pretty easy and clear answer. I know you cannot continue to deal with this throughout your marriage. DO you want to spend the rest of your life with him hanging around his ex THAT HE CHEATED ON YOU WITH? Come on! I am a dude, I have cheated and I say there is no excuse for this shit. Sometimes you need to be a man, step up and let some people go. He is either not man enough to tell his family or his ex to back off or he just doesn't care about you. If he cared about your feelings he would tell her to stay away. Rule [URL=https://www.loveforum.net/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1]#1[/URL] when trying to heal a relationship that involves cheating... Cut all ties with the 3rd party. No seeing, talking, texting or emailing. Everyone knows that.

If this did not involve cheating it would be slightly different but I think you should tell him its her or you. There was a time when I had to make that decision and it was crazy easy for me to cut all ties with my ex because I cared about my girlfriend and loved her enough to know that her feelings meant more to me than some stupid ex.

[TSD]

He doesn't love you that much...he may not be capable of such love to be so insensitive.