Need your Opinion

[jamer9]

I'm looking for an opinion from everyone.

I'm a simple guy that believes that love conquers all.

Here's my question:

Would you leave a good paying job in CA to be with the person you love that is living in Florida?
A few details below:

The person in CA doesn't have any family there, just a few friends and a good paying job/career. The person in Florida has to be there because they have a teenage son(from previous marriage) that needs some guidance the other parent couldn't give.
The CA person can still continue their career here since their company has positions in Florida, locally where they would live. Yes the money here won't be as good but there won't be a 13% state tax and the tax bracket would be way lower. And here in Florida the Cost of Living is way lower.

Basically, the person in CA would still be able to live the lifestyle they are used to.

All feedback is welcome.
Thanks

[TheEvilJester]

It comes down to a number of factors, really. It differs by person, but I can tell you, here would be the things I'd consider if I were in your situation...

1) How MUCH of a pay cut would I be taking by moving?
2) When you consider the lower cost of living in the new area, how much money would I be able to be putting away in the new situation vs. the old? In other words, maybe I'd be making less money, but if the cost of living is lower enough, I could wind up being able to have all the same things and yet still put away the same amount of money. In the end, if your lifestyle doesn't change at all, then what does it really matter how much you are making? If you're making twice as much in one area, but have to spend so much of it that you wind up basically keeping the same amount either place, that is really a negligible difference.
3) How long has the relationship lasted?
4) How serious is the relationship? For example, if you've not been together very long, then now may not be the time to make that move regardless of what you may ultimately decide if it does continue.
5) How far are friends and family in both locations? It sounds like you don't really have many people around you in your current location, so sounds like it wouldn't be that big a deal to move.
6) Are the areas comparable? In other words, distance to things you like to do, places you like to go, etc.

I'm sure I'm forgetting some things, but there is basically a set of criteria you should have in mind. In the end, it just comes down to what would you be giving up by moving versus what you would be gaining. And vice versa. Whichever seems to be the biggest benefit.... go with that.

Only you can really decide that.... but I will say from what you've shared with us, it doesn't seem like you have too much tying you down to the current area. Heck, even the pay cut you say you would have to take, it sounds like much of that would be made up by the lower cost of living. So, just going based upon what you've shared, I'd be leaning towards moving if I were you.... but that still has to be your decision. There may be more factors you should ponder.

Good luck to you either way.

[jamer9]

If it were me I would move but she's the one in CA with no family and I'm here with my son.
Thanks for your response

[lovesickheart]

I am in that situation, I live in CA with absolutely nobody here except a few friends. If I was certain of the relationship, I would absolutely move for love with the circumstances as you stated them. But As Jester brought up, I would have to consider the factors of how long ive been in the relationship, etc.
Are you planning to move in together or she would be relocating and getting her own place? That can be pretty expensive, and if the relationship is not in the we're-probably-getting-married-soon stage, that is a huge step to just uproot everything for a relationship at this stage of it. You also have to consider age... when I was 20 or 30, sure I would have done it and seen it as an adventure, however in my 40's I would think twice about leaving my job again without some real certainty of this relationship.

[TheEvilJester]

Ah. So she would actually be the one moving? Well, I mean, it's still really the same factors in consideration. As well as any other factors she may have that we didn't consider here. With this being the case, all you can really do is to do your best to help her with weighing the factors and coming to a decision. You shouldn't really pressure her in any way because it needs to be her decision. I mean, of course you can make it clear you'd love for her to move closer to you, but you should also understand if she's just not ready for that.

Though, at the same time, any serious relationship should eventually be heading toward marriage. So, if/when you've been together for a while, if at that point she is still hesitant about moving (or even flat out against it) and it isn't really in your realm of possibility to be the one to move, then that may be time to start taking it a little more seriously. It would be understandable if that wouldn't work for you.

Either way, good luck to you. I hope you two find a way to make it work.