Ok guys, firstly I will apologise if this post gets long and unstructured. I am very confused and upset at the moment and just need to vent myself and hopefully get some words of wisdom to help me through.

I will give you some background first, I am a 28 year old guy who has been travelling alone for 5 or so months. I've stationed down in Australia to work for a bit and build my money back up to carry on travelling and have met some good friends over here.

So 2 months ago I met this girl and we clicked straight away, spent the next 4 days with each other and really enjoyed our time together. We spoke a lot about our plans and what we are like as people and she invited me to go travelling around NZ with her for a month in a campervan, just the two of us. I accepted straight away and flew out 3 days later (she flew out the next day). We went on to spend the month really enjoying each others company and making amazing memories that will stay with me forever.

Now we are both back in Australia and have the same plans for the next 3 months - building up enough money to carry on travelling. Although our plans are similar in that we are both planning on travelling Asia (I am meeting up with a friend for a couple of weeks and she is planning on travelling with an old friend) she has no intention of spending anytime in Asia with me. At this moment in time we have got a place together and are living together as it primarily cuts down costs and we do spend a lot of time together anyway. Whilst in NZ and also here in Aus she brought up the idea of me going to see her in her country, getting a work visa and travelling the country with her. Which sounds amazing and something I really want to do. She also told me a lot that it takes a long time for her to fall for someone and have someone in her life, which I do appreciate.

Last night however I was thinking about our limited time together (2 months left on our visas) and what it looks like afterwards. I decided to bring it up in conversation as we agreed that if we have anything that is bothering us that we would speak about it, so I did. I basically got shot down straight away and told what was I expecting, that she does not want someone in her life like that, she doesn't want to be serious, she doesn't want someone with her all the time, she needs the carefree life. This obviously got me upset, in my mind I was looking at ways to keep this romance alive and to be told that there is an expiration date completely destroyed me. I did ask however about the going to her country and travelling and working and she still wants me to do that, which confuses me a lot. She stated that she doesn't know when as she wants to go to different places and work for a few months seeing friends and family.

Now I am really confused, this is one of only a handful of girls that I have ever had feelings for (normally I dont allow myself to) and I promised myself that I wouldn't fall for anyone while I was travelling. I don't know whether to use these two months left to have the most amazing time I can and then allow myself to crash when it's over (as the only way I can put everything into this is if I believe that it will not be over) or whether to start protecting myself now, force myself to lose feelings for her and try my best to separate my heart from this relationship that we have. I know what I want to do, that is continue having the time of my life but I don't know whether that is best for me.