Am I being play? Don't know what to do...

[Ezag]

Hello there!

I'd like to get an opionion on something. To some it may sound childish or stupid (which it is), but I just want to get it off my chest. Never been in such a situation, so I don't know what to do. It's a little longer.
I met this girl. She's really hot and really great. But she was hurt a lot in the past, so she's really insecure and sensitive. She has no friends and is socially awkward. She has always been afraid that she will loose me or that I ditch her for someone else, someone better. But she also thanked me from saving her. A lot. I'm friends with her for almost 2 years now. We've been really tight. No sex, but we've been always flirting heavy. Yeah sure, we got into some fights, because I wasn't always nice to her. But we still made up everytime. So now my problem:

She was in love with me the whole time and I was in love with here the whole time. But we didn't tell each other because we are stupid. I always thought she were and asked here, but she always denied, said she doesn't want a Relationship and I'm here friend. That's why I didn't say anything either. But she lied, because she was too scared to tell me. She was scared I reject here and that the friendship dies. She didn't want to lose me. But the problem is, I don't know how real her words are. Because she told me that after I found out she's in love with somebody else too.

Yeah, you heard right, she is in love with another guy too. She turned to him because she thought I never ever wanted to date here and that we couldn't be. So they had a date on Valentine's Day and they wanted to become a couple. I was hurt. A lot. Because I loved her too. So I said to her, that I'm going to step aside because she's now happy with another guy and I can't stand beside and watch it. Hurts too much. She didn't want that. She asked why. I said "Because I'm in love with you too. The whole time." At first, she wanted to let me go, to give me some time to get over it. But I said, that I won't be back. Maybe a little selfish, because we are friends, but I can't stand the fact that there's another guy now. But I have to think about myself now and she should be happy with him and not think about me. But she said she can't be happy like that. So she said, that this was all a huge mistake with the other guy. She told him so. "it was a big mistake... I need some time to think about all that." She showed me, so no way she's lying. And she also said, she wished she didn't turn to him and let him in. But the thing is, she didn't tell him that she's still in love with me. Just that she needed time. And why was she ready to go in a relationship if she's still in love with me? That's both not fair to him either. Not that I care about him, but still. I thought you start one If you got over someone. Doesn't that mean she already loves him more than me? Or just him?

So now she's kinda flirting/friends with both of us, but I kinda get the feeling she already gave her heart to the other guy, but doesn't want to let me go as a friend. And I don't get the feeling that she's happy if I'm there or misses me If I'm not. Because, well, she still has the other guy there. He's always there. I work, he is a student. For now we are all just texting, no meetings. But I don't know what's her point, if she's lying to me. I mean, I can find out about that. What then? I would be gone too and even hate her for that. That couldn't be in her interest. "Funny" thing is, she is not doing good. She can't sleep good, eat and is nauseous. She says it's a nightmare. But why make it so hard on yourself? Just say who you wanna be with or tell them both they are just friends. But she said she can't to that.

What do you guys think? Am I being played? I know it's hard to tell for you, because you don't know her and can't judge her or me, but I still want some opinion. I know in some sentences I sound like I already know what's up and I should grow some balls and get the hell out of there. But she's so important to me and I love her so much, that I would always ask myself "What If she was telling the truth and loved me too?" So I can't let her go and leave her to that guy. I asked 2 friends. The girl said "Maybe it's true and she loves you both." and the guy said "That's stupid. She is playing you." But they also said, that in the end, it's up to me what I wanna do. Maybe I'll be the one that gets hurt in the end, I know that too. It's so hard and complicated...

[myers5061]

If she's choosing between you and another guy, you're certainly being played. There is no other side to it. Forget her and move on.

[amj1979]

Agree with myers5061 here. No one can truly be in love with two people at the same time. There will always be more intense feelings for one versus the other. And she has no problem being in love with this other guy, so I don't believe the story about her not being able to open up to you. At the same time, if you were more open about your feelings perhaps that would have helped the girl open up as well. Don't let yourself dangle out there while this girl figures out which guy she wants. Putting your life on hold only to possibly get rejected is never a good idea. You need to have more self-respect and self-worth than that. If you want to hold out some hope this girl comes around it's one thing, but go out and date other people until that happens.

[Ezag]

Thanks for your opinions. Right? I thought it was weird too. But maybe he came onto her, he took the chance and told her he loved her and she just took it. Because, like I said, she always was being scared of not being loved and stuff. And I know, I should've told her. I could punch myself for not doing that.

Well, she also told me she loves us both and can't decide between us, because she doesn't want to hurt him or me. Now she wants to be friends with us and just see who she'll love more. Or who loves her more. Who will have the patience and stuff like that. But yeah, like you said, I'm gonna live my life. About that... What I should I do about the contact? Should I just write with her like always or make myself rare? But knowing her, she would probably see this as a sign that I'm not interested in her anymore.