Distance Realtionship with a lot of Roadblocks

[DorkyGerman]

Well, I'm gonna start a bit ahead, to give some more background informations.

About 7 Months ago, i've meet the Woman this is about, in a Modding Forum
for a Game. She lives in the US and has a son, like me.
The first week, we just sended PM's about the original matter via the Forum.
After that week, we got into Skype to be more efficient, this is where it started. From that day on
we started to get really attracted to each other, we've spend a lot of time together, discovered
and enjoyed ourselves. To say it in other words, it just clicked between us, the chemistry was perfect.

After some weeks, we ended up being a couple. We both knew, this isn't real life, so we planned to meet
in the real world, to get known to us on a different basis, to find out if the Chemistry would still be perfect and
if we could survive as a real couple. Despite the fact that we both have a son, we both would like to move into
a different country, she would like to live here in Germany, that was quite good for me then ^^

Orignially my flight to the US was set for next Friday. Sadly after 3 Months in the Relationship, Problems started growing on her side.
I won't name these Problems, only if they really could matter in finding a Solution. Just to say, I would have crumbled under the Burden of those Problems, if i was the one carrying them. So there were a lot and new ones kept rising over time, without solving old ones.
I supported her as good as possible, trying to help a her in any way i could find.

About one and a half month ago she wanted me to cancel the flight, she lost her job and got pre diagnosed with ptsd, the final diagnosis will be made after further test's, very soon. We kept sticking together, trying to find Solutions, but at that point she already was drifting away from me, slowly drowning cause of her problems. Her problems also started to affect me as well and that's a problem, because i can become very overprotective. Lets just say i can be very annoying, without noticing it by myself. When I was in that overprotective mood, it really hurted me when i couldn't stay in contact with her all the time. But she wanted to be left alone more and more, because she knew we were kinda hurting each other. Clearly neither of us wanted that on purpose, but sometimes things just can't be helped. So we talked about it and i agreed to give her more space. It didn't worked out as planned, i ran into some problems myself and i ended up with a fragile mentality. I guess it's a huge difference, to grant your Partner more space when you are in a normal Relationship, I imagine it to be easier. But when i just couldn't talk to my Girlfriend in this distance realationship, i just felt pure helplessness. In generall it's always an act of balance of different factors. And one of them, if not the most important one is trust.

I never had trust issues in her, she never gave me any reason and I always felt really self-confident around her. But when I was isolated from her, when i got into problems myself, also having my people here in germany telling me, she is just playing with me, she is tricking me. I reached my mental borders and had some sort of total breakdown. This happened twice, each time we talked about it and she understood my concerns, we both knew i was just totaly overracting. I did take action, to prevent a third time, i told my people to either stop talking about her and telling me anything regarding her or just to **** off. In the end I never doubted her honesty and trust to me, but again sometimes things can't be helped. 2 weeks ago she took action, well she broke up with me, or kinda layed our relationship on ice. If the exact words matter I can post them later on.

She told me, that as long as her situation is as it is, she can't be part of a relationship. She can't give me the love and care she would like to give me and what i would deserve. She doesn't want to suffer from another problem . She has enough going on in her life and before she thinks about a Relationship again, she would like to get her life back on track and at least solve most of her problems or try to. She also said she would like to try it with me again, when her life has settled down, doing a fresh start under better signs and circumstances. We both agreed that we would make a fantastic couple, but for now she doesn't needs me as her Companion, but even more just as friend, she needs me to do as she asks, that is for now, giving her space.

To be clear I'm not mad at her that she broke up with me, I know she is right and that isn't my Problem. I always was able to understand her, regardless what it was, what we discussed about, we always ended up symbiotic. I accept her decission and support it and her.

My Problem is, how i get trough this without loosing her, without loosing myself and without destroying everying accidentaly. And how can i be just a friend from one day to another. Nobody can tell how long this process could take, so i guess, some of you who read this would just give me the advice to move on on and let her go. That's not the type of thing i want to hear, as said in my indroduction post, i want to go this path with her togheter, as friend, I want to reach the End and claim what is mine, what i deserve, or more precisely what we both would deserve.

I think this may sounds more like a childish romance to some people who could read this, there isn't that much weight in the words, when i say in my jung age that i've never meet someone who even got close to her. But I honestly think that she is the right one for me, she is everything i've ever dreamed of and i refuse to just give up, without having tried as hard as i can.

So please, if somebody is here, hopefully somebody wiser than me ^^ help me to keep her.

Thanks in Advance and kindest regards,

Jannis Müller

[Wakeup]

so i guess, some of you who read this would just give me the advice to move on on and let her go. That's not the type of thing i want to hear,

Well, that's too bad because that is exactly what you should do. You don't even know this girl other then some skype words (and probably jerking off together) so what you have with her is an addiction to the superficial contact rather then true love. How can you love someone you don't even know. All of your feelings are based on non-tangible things along with zero actions or tangible deeds that would indicate to you that you should give your heart to her.

So: DO move on and find someone in real life, in your country that you can actually get together with one-on-one and who isn't mentally troubled with PTSD or any other bs she happens to (tell you that she) has.

You waste your good emotions on a fantasy girl who admits to being ****ed up. That should be enough for anyone who wasn't ****ed up themselves to run away and stay away from.

Notice how she bailed on you when it was finally set to meet.... that tells you that she's full of shit in real life and just didn't want you to see the real her. Get away from the computer, get out and find someone in real life and don't waste another minute of your time or emotions on "fantasy girl"