Is this normal or am I losing her ?

[reman1]

Hi everyone,

I posted here the last time about this girl I was involved with who lives abroad. I live in Canada and she is in Turkey.

We were introduced to each other by a friend and initially, we started off by just chatting regularly (like every day) and things seemed to be fine. It really looked like she was into me and she even did some really cute things the odd time like making sure I ate properly or that I slept on time and so on. Eventually, she asked me to come over to visit her and her family in Turkey which I did (by sacrificing a key position in a new project at work and at great expense).

When I visited, I had dinner at her place a couple of times and I met her relatives too who all said they liked me very much. I also went on 2 dates with the girl where we could talk in private. During one of these , she asked me "so what do you think of us ? ". My answer to that was that I thought things were going well and that I liked the idea of "us". When I asked her the same, she said "so far it is all good". There was also another point where she asked me if she was how I expected her to be. Again, when I asked her the same, she said I was exactly how she thought I would be.

Now, the things that concern me are that on several occasions, she mentioned to me how attached she is to her hometown and her extended family in Turkey. To add to this, her brother is very much opposed to her coming to live with me in Canada (the girl assures me though that in the end, she will listen to everyone's opinions but the decision is her's).

That being said, I am noticing that when I returned to Canada, this girl started becoming more distant. What I mean is that she would initiate conversations less frequently and when I do ask her questions about our future together, she seems to sort of skirt around them. Basically, it looks like she is afraid to commit. I know it is not good to pressure girls to commit so I decided I will give her space. But I really got the strong feeling that this is the beginning of the end. I have never been in a relationship before (if you could call this one), so I don't know if my gut feeling is right or if this is normal for girls. Can anyone please shed some light on this ?

[Gladimeir15]

Hold on until you have an official say with her. You have to talk with her heartily so that both of you have clear minds and feelings.

[lovesickheart]

My guess is that she does like you but that moving to Canada is probably the big elephant in the room. I have to ask you if the relationship is worth YOU being the one to move to Turkey? Its a pretty big thing, to leave everyone and everything behind.
Best wishes to you both. I hope it works out. And if she ends up moving for you, you better treat her like gold!!

[reman1]

My guess is that she does like you but that moving to Canada is probably the big elephant in the room. I have to ask you if the relationship is worth YOU being the one to move to Turkey? Its a pretty big thing, to leave everyone and everything behind.
Best wishes to you both. I hope it works out. And if she ends up moving for you, you better treat her like gold!!

Ahh, you hit the nail on the head there. See, this thought occurred to me too. What I don't get is that this fact of her moving to Canada was right there from the very,very start. I don't get why if staying in Turkey is that important, that she continued to talk and get closer to me. If I had been in her place, I would have said "no thanks" when I initially contacted her. It would have been easier for her and for me.

Anyway, I have been and will be doing research to make sure she can continue her career here in Canada without any issues. If I find that coming her will be damaging to her career, I am actually prepared to break this off myself, rather than risk this girl coming to any harm because of me.