Hi first of all thanks for anyone that has any advice for me.
I have been with my partner for a year or so now but we have been friends for nearly 5 years so we have always known what we are like and pasts.
She has kids from a previous relationship and I have none. I get on great with the kids and always have done, I know I'm second best to them and I will never expect anything more from her. While we have been together when we have ever talked about kids she has always been dead against it unless she was married but she has said she will not have kids from the age of 30 onwards. Unfortunately for me that is next year. We both love each other and I can't see myself with anybody else. I would marry her tomorrow if she wanted to.
Recently though she has changed her mind and said she doesn't want another as she thinks it would push hers kids to the side. I don't think my relationship with the kids would change. I have a lot of love to give and I can't see myself treating a child differently to how I already do because I have one of my own.
I know she will not change her mind but I won't leave her for it. Im not a selfish person and I would not ever make her do anything she didn't want. If I have to I won't have kids as above all she is the reason I have completely change my lifestyle and I can't picture it any other way, she literally is the only thing in my life think of day in day out. Which has never been something that normally happens to me.
Like I say I won't leave her, but I know in my head I won't stop thinking about this and will more then likely punish myself mentally about it in the future. But then If she left me so I could find someone who would give me the opportunity I think it would just break me and send me back to hiding myself away emotionally. I have always wanted kids but for me one would be perfect. The only time she has said we would have one I know she mentioned she would only have it because she knows how much I want it and that I would be a great dad as she thinks she will feel guilty for depriving me of the chance. But at the end of the day that's not healthy for us as a couple or any of the the children.

I suppose I just don't know where to go for advice as the only person I would talk to is my best friend who's wife happens to be my partners best friend so I know it will eventually pop up between them.

Ye so I suppose I'm after opinions as I'm stuck in a tricky situation.

Thanks again.