Hi everyone, thanks for reading. I am hoping to work out in this day and age with all the access to mobile phones and social media that the following situation would be defined as cheating or not?
Me and my partner were together for about 18 months. We broke up and got back together after being single for about 3 months. During those three months my partner dated a few people here and there and was using online dating during the time and told me she also messaged a few flings from her past to check in the status of them. Allegedly nothing much came from those interactions except some flirting and she agreed to disengage with all of them when we got back together. I asked her what she meant by this and she said “that if anyone messages or rings her she would tell them she is back with me”. I was satisfied with this and we agreed to commit.
We only lasted two weeks and during those two weeks I found out she continued to message about 2 guys she went on past dates with and sent somewhat flirty messages and eventually told them about me but not straight away. I also found out that she initiated messages with previous guys she was with years ago to chat with and see what they were up to. All the guys she messaged wanted more from her and she confirmed this. There was no such thing as above board or platonic messages exchanged. I also found out she went on a date with another guy a few days before we committed, however we were still intimate a few weeks before that.
I claimed that she cheated on me, more in an emotional way over messaging and told her that her intentions were clearly not focused on us. She denied she cheated and said she only lied to me and was still trying to move from being single to being in a relationship. I think it may be a lot different in a fresh relationship however we got back together after a short period of time and we agreed to commit. Anyway, I refuse to work things out with her until she admits it was cheating otherwise I fear she will do it again if she doesn’t understand how wrong it was. She still refuses to say it was cheating and was only trying to get attention. In addition to all of this, she did a little bit of this in our proper relationship but not to the same extent. What are everyone’s thoughts?