Advise on taking it slow with an ex?

[Astaroth]

I'll try to make this as quick and as brief as possible. I met my now ex girlfriend at a night club (won't say where) where we immediately both hit it off rather well. We pretty much fell in love with each other on first sight and super quickly, I mean; kissing, holding hands, touching, you name it. It really felt like a situation from the Titanic. It was a little too quick, and as a result, it ended pretty abruptly I might add.. but I have never felt such feelings for a woman before and I have met and been with quite a few others in the past (it never felt this strong, and my ex is on the same page and agrees to this day!) About a month into it, she ends it with me because I got paranoid one time and began questioning her motives after she had a night out with her friends. I even questioned her friend (which I know was a really stupid move) and that set her off something awful, blocking my phone and Facebook. I reacted really badly about the whole thing, so I sent her some pretty hateful messages from an alternate account (which I did regret, and still feel terrible about). About a week later, her and my mom start talking on Facebook about the situation. My ex asks my mother for advise on what to do as she still had feelings for me. To make things short, after about a week of relaying messages back and forth thanks to my mother, my ex ends up unblocking me from Facebook and phone, and we begin talking again.

I was under the impression that she wanted to be romantically involved with me again, but no, it was a huge misunderstanding on my part, so another explosion happened about two weeks into talking again. The reason I misunderstood is because she still kept telling me how much she loves me, has feelings for me, and wanted to make things 'work'. She wanted to just take things slow as friends, but see where things lead us. The part about taking it slow as friends first the 2nd time was not made clear to me at all. So I blew up again! So once again, she tries to talk to my mother about the situation. My ex ends up unblocking me only two days after the 2nd fight, and even calls my cellphone unexpectedly. We talk for about an hour about the situation, and we both are finally at an understanding of one another's positions. I have since had many long chats and phone calls about this subject to this day with her.

She wants to take things slow and start as friends again so she can get to know me better. We both feel that our relationship happened just too quickly, so it ended up ending quickly as a result. Some things I need to point out about my ex is that she is chronically ill. Part of why I didn't trust her was because she doesn't look ill, she does a good job at hiding it, but I know now for a fact that she is not lying. She also was in a couple abusive relationships, where her boyfriends would treat her badly for getting sick or having flare ups and constantly pressuring her. She says she has not fully recovered from those, and was content being single (having taken a break from dating) for a very long time. She says meeting me convinced her to try dating again because she had never felt a connection so strongly before with anyone else she had been with in such a short period of time! She says the main reason why she broke up with me is because my short outburst reminded her of her past bad experiences. At the same time, she does not fully blame me. She says that she feels terrible for bringing out the worst in me and feels bad for making me feel so frustrated with not being able to spend too much time with her due to her conditions.

Now cutting to the chase...

Now for the part that confuses me. She says that she still feels a deep connection to me, and has strong feelings for me, but is not interested in being in a relationship with me or anyone else at all right now (she is too busy trying to focus on improving her health and well being, which I do understand), but at the same time she keeps bringing up the possibility of it becoming possible again in the future, she just doesn't know when. I have made it pretty crystal clear to her that I still have strong feelings for her too, and would love for our romantic relationship to work again. I told her that there would be no pressure or anything 'forced'. She still wants to take things slow. She says she wouldn't dream of cutting me out of her life, that is why she kept persisting on having me still apart of her life and that she really cares about me alot. But I feel frustrated and confused. Part of me is in an agreement and totally understanding from her own perspective, she's not just thinking of her own baggage and how it effects her, but she's thinking of how it effects me and makes it harder knowing its extremely difficult to spend time with someone in that predicament. I don't mind and I am totally in agreement with starting things off really slow and as friends for now, but I don't want to wait too long. She tells me that I do not ever need to "wait" and respects whatever decision I make. On the other hand she is confident that if we wait, things will be better in the end.

Extremely confused and I have no clue how to handle this.