Should I leave it in the past?

[AriaPersian]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months, I'm 21 and he's 24. Lately his behaviour has changed a lot. It seems like we argue almost everyday and it's usually over little things. He tends to get angry pretty quickly and it always ends with him calling me stupid and saying I'm incapable of doing anything right. I have told him that I don't like it when he calls me names but it feels like when we argue he uses it against me out of spite. A few days ago we went to a concert, and he got really drunk. So drunk that he could barely stand straight, it was super embarrassing. While we were sitting down he patted his jacket and couldn't find his phone, he got REALLY angry and started shouting at me and saying that he's going to break up with me if he doesn't find his phone by the end of that night (a phone I had bought for him) I was pretty sure he hadn't lost it but every time I tried to go near him to search for it he would swear and shout at me so I just left him alone, when he did eventually find his phone in his pocket I burst into tears and he started begging for forgiveness and saying he was sorry. Even though he apologised and I accepted it I still can't get over that night and I'm so hurt that he would be so mean. Do you think I should bring up the that night and tell him how I feel?

[TheEvilJester]

On the one hand, if you two are fighting about little things, that could be good news because it means if you'd both step back, calm down, and have a serious conversation you'd maybe realize they are little and can be fixed. On the other hand, though, if that never happens and you continue to fight even about little things, how are you ever going to be happy? If your relationship can't even handle the little things, how are you ever going to survive the big things?

The way he is treating you is NOT okay. The way he treated you while drunk is NOT okay. SOME things, you could let pass by realizing that a drunk person obviously doesn't have the best judgment. That when somebody is drunk, they aren't the best example of themselves.

...

The way he treated you does NOT fall into that category. It is absolutely inexcusable even if he was completely drunk. One important thing to remember.... getting drunk doesn't change who you are. It just removes inhibitions. In other words, the most prim and proper person in the world doesn't suddenly get the urge to strip naked and run around the neighborhood while drunk. If they do that while drunk, it means some part of them wanted to anyway, but they knew better/decided better until their "social lubricant" of choice quieted that sensible part of their brain.

So, by the same token, him treating you poorly while drunk CANNOT be blamed on the drink. It is HIM.

To be honest with you, I DO think you should talk to him about it. The bottom line is it is NOT okay for him to treat you that way. Not sober, not drunk, not at all. Granted, I only know the side of the story you have shared with us, but from what you have shared, it sounds to me like he does not treat you the way you deserve AT ALL, whether drunk or sober.

That needs to change, and if it doesn't, then he doesn't deserve you. And you know something? Arguments happen in every relationship from time to time. That's okay. What makes them not okay is not learning from them and growing from them. When he can't even have a civil conversation with you without it devolving into an argument... there is a problem somewhere. When he can't have an argument with you without eventually just giving up on it and calling you names and/or telling you that you are "stupid" then there is a problem somewhere.

So, yes, I would personally suggest talking to him about it. As best as you can, don't allow it to become a heated argument. Even if he starts to take it that way, do whatever you can to keep things calm. In the end, if he can't even have a civil discussion with you without devolving into this immature grunting imbecile just shouting "You wrong! Me right! You stupid!" then maybe it is time to realize you deserve a MAN, and that maybe he's just a BOY.

Hopefully he can realize what he's been doing is wrong and work with you to make it work. If not, though, I hope you care enough about yourself to realize you deserve better than that. Good luck to you.