Does he only want sex?

[mikumiku]

Ever since I was little, I was told to save myself until marriage to have sexual intercourse and almost at 30, I am still a proud Virgin. Out of all of the guys I have dated or been in a relationship with, all of them have respected me and my belief and were all willing to wait. As of my current relationship status, when I first met my Boyfriend last year, I told him this and he respected me and was going to wait. But through our time together, he's brought up the sex talk, saying how he's frustrated that we can't have sexual intercourse, and he wants to do it. He's done this a few times throughout our time together. It's had me think, does all he really want is sex? Like if he really respected me like he said at the start, shouldn't he just drop the sex talk topic and accept it and just focus on me and other things about me and us? What do you think, do you think he just wants sex or that he respects me?

[topazlight]

He probably doesn't only want sex from you, since you've been together awhile now and he has respected your wishes of virginity but you can understand why he may be feeling like he wants to be intimate with you after waiting for so long, to me that is a normal reaction for him to feel. If you still want to wait and he does not that might be a good enough reason to let each other go, so you can be with someone who wants exactly the same things you want out of a relationship. How old is he, older than you? I think it's both, obviously respects you he has waited this long. What if he proposed to you, would you still wait until your wedding day?

[mikumiku]

Yes I would wait until wedding day to have sexual intercourse. Him and I are both 28 years old.

[Royal.Ninja]

Well in my opinion in all relationship there comes a day when opposite gender got some more attracted to you in that way .... But when this attraction changes to wrong ways then we must leave them

[usernamee]

I think that if he's serious about this relationship, he would respect your decision. If he's not serious about the relationship, then he doesn't deserve to be with you.

Don't change your mind just to suit him, I think you should still wait. In the beginning, my ex-boyfriend told me he respected my opinion and that he would wait until I was ready, but in the end he got very impatient with me and started to treat me badly. When I said I didn't want to have sex with him, he said fine I'm leaving you. It really got me down, cause I loved him a lot. We were only 17 at the time.

So to you, I would say wait for someone who respects your opinions. If he gets mad at you for not having sex, that's ridiculous, and don't be afraid to tell him. Good luck!

[smarta$$]

This is a silly question to be coming from a 28 year old. Surely by this age, people know about sex drives.

[mikumiku]

I do know about sex drives, I just want him to respect me and if he knows I am saving myself until marriage, then don't bring up how your frustrated about not being able to have sex. NONE of my ex's ever brought up how they were sexually frustrated. They accepted it and never brought it up.

[smackie9]

This guy obviously was hoping you would change your mind or thought he could do it....now he is struggling with it. He may need to respect your wishes, but you should understand and respect his frustration. IMO it's becoming unrealistic to keep dating him if he is feeling this way..... you should cut him loose. He isn't going to quit bringing it up, in time will end up quitting you anyways.

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BTW sex is a normal part of having a relationship. It's part of the bonding/emotional connection process...also a natural instinct to want it. Most want to see if there is sexual compatibility before investing in a marriage....just the way it is. Sex isn't just an act/having babies....it's about being able to satisfy your partner properly and everyone's turn ons and desires are different.

IMO you should find yourself a virgin that has the same values and expectations so you both will be on the same page.

[mikumiku]

Yeah I am well aware of the bonding and emotional connection and all that, thats what he keeps discussing etc. But I am standing my ground and want to wait until marriage. He knows this and says he is trying his best not to bring it up, but it is hard, he wants to be with me, and doesn't want us to break up.

[smackie9]

ok so nothing is going to change, it is what it is....best of luck.

[Gladimeir15]

In my opinion i don't think he only want sex from you considering the period of time you have been together and was able to wait and respect your decision. It's normal for a your BF to feel that urge and just honest to tell about what he feels. Seems you really are firm with your decision to wait until marriage then better understand him also and be patient to respect him if he keeps asking you again and again about that sex thing. Again its normal for him to feel it and good thing is he want to do it with you.

[mikumiku]

I get he feels he wants us to do it, but I am standing my ground and want to wait until marriage, end of story.

[smackie9]

The problem is, he doesn't want to wait...YOU DO. Find someone who wants to stand his ground and wait for marriage too.

[mikumiku]

But he does want to wait, he just wants to feel free to be able to express his emotions and feelings about not being able to have sex.

[smackie9]

No he doesn't want to wait that's a load of bs he is feeding you, and that is why he keeps reminding you how frustrated he is...he wants/hopes to break you down.

I he really wants to wait he would say nothing more about it and go fix his frustration with internet porn and lotion.