Trying to date coworker

[Dardar]

I'm into my coworker, and I want to date him, but I need to be really sure he likes me before I risk being direct. So this is a "does he like me??" question.

I've only been working here for 3 months but he's my closest friend in the new town. He has been here two years. We share an office. He is single (so am I) and we're the two youngest people in the department... So we end up hanging out a lot.

We usually hang out with other people from the department outside of work a couple times a week. Sometimes, however, we end up on our own. The first time everyone split on a Friday night but he and I decided to hit up another bar. We ended up getting kind of hammered and sharing a lot of intimate details about ourselves. He was very obviously flirty this night and even told me that he was attracted to me (in a kind of half serious half jokey way...). He touched my waist a couple times and tried to pay for my drinks. I thought these meant he was obviously into me, so I was happy. But the flirting didn't carry into the next week, or the week after... It was about three weeks before we were on our own again. This Thursday, we went for after dinner drinks with a group. He made a comment about how our legs were touching under the table. Then on the way home he "jokingly" put his arm around me. This Friday we went out again with a group and ended up walking home together around 1 am. I invited him inside my building to "warm up" before he commuted the rest of the way home, but stopped short of taking him to my room because it seemed too forward. We ended up talking for an hour.

So, this morning (Saturday) I decided to just take a chance and ask him to hang out with me, on what I thought was a pretty obvious date. We both had hangovers so I suggested we go to a coffee shop together. He said he couldn't yet, but then he asked me if I wanted to take a walk later that night. I said sure, and suggested seeing a movie after the walk. Like, pretty much as obvious as I can be without saying the word "date." He says sure, then INVITES ANOTHER COWORKER to come with us. okay. So we go on a weird date with a coworker chaperone and then he and I walk back to my place because he left some stuff in my room. I was jazzing myself up to make a move but he didn't even sit down before saying goodnight and leaving. Kind of abruptly.

In summary: cues have been positive and in some cases very clear, but not very frequent. I thought I had it in the bag before he pulled the "invite a third wheel" move. So... DOES HE LIKE ME? Should I still pursue this or just take the hint? Usually I would just ask him outright, but it's pretty risky to do with a coworker...

Xoxo

[NOS]

That sounds like a tough situation. A couple of things to consider and one recommendation:

1) Because you share an office together, think about the implications of what happens if things don't work out. Nothing worse than having a co-worker who sits 3 feet away who is now a bitter ex-lover (or worse, you the bitter ex-lover). How bad do you want to risk this situation for the possibility of romance? I've been there with someone who sat in the same office area as me, and after it ended it was so awkward I couldn't wait to be transferred to another dept. to get away.
2) What is your expectation/hopes for this? Is it just to find out if there is something there, or do you think there might be something there long term? If you think it could be a serious long term thing, you should look to take it slow and put some distance between yourselves.

Which leads to my advice...I know it sounds like playing games, but I would ignore/play it cool with this guy for a while. Continue to hang out in a group setting and be a confidant, but make it clear that you have your own thing going on. It may take a LONG time, but I bet he will come around if he likes you. Good luck with your situation.

[melancholia]

I 100% agree with NOS' advice and don't have a lot more to add. I emphasize his first point that this could be a precarious situation for you to get romantically involved with a co-worker. You've only known the guy for three months, I think your safest bet is to play it cool for a while and see how things go. Get to know him a little better and see if things progress. I'd also look at your company's policy on inter-company relationships. Not all companies are happy with co-workers banging outside (or inside) the office.

[NOS]

I 100% agree with NOS' advice and don't have a lot more to add. I emphasize her first point that this could be a precarious situation for you to get romantically involved with a co-worker. You've only known the guy for three months, I think your safest bet is to play it cool for a while and see how things go. Get to know him a little better and see if things progress. I'd also look at your company's policy on inter-company relationships. Not all companies are happy with co-workers banging outside (or inside) the office.

Good advice also - but note that I am not a her:-)

[melancholia]

I apologize, NOS!

[Fuzzyfeeling]

This is officially the most epic ,thrilling,trolling story i've ever heard.

THAT DUDE IS A TROLL SWEAR TO GOD ,WE SHARE THE SAME GENES.

The best path to take is the friends with benefits thingie, anything serious with this guy would turn into a one sided comedy.

[chickmagnet7]

Touch him accidentally (deliberate).
For several times or touch him with reasons. Compliment his clothing and rub his forearm.

Afterwards

Testing touch him, place your hand a bit in touch with his hand. See what happen