Friends with Benefits

[greygirl]

I really wanted some advice on the situation im in at the moment...

About a month ago i came out of a 2 year controlling relationship and Now i’m here. After things ended with my boyfriend i started speaking a lot with the guy i lost my virginity too almost 2 and half years ago and one thing lead to another we slept together a couple of times up until now 2 and half years on from loosing my virginity . It’s very different to how it was before, i don’t want to be with him, yet i know i like him, ill always have feelings there for him. He claims he doesn’t have any for me but if he didn’t would he have messaged me 4 times when i was in a relationship; and why would he be back now.

The sex is amazing we just click, the lust between us is crazy and we really do get along really well. He makes me laugh still and we’re always flirting. I don’t know whether there could be something more. Im scared to ask him incase it stops what we have now and i’ll have no one again. He always tells me how much he cares about me, he even said to me the other day “im thinking about what it would be like being with you”. I didn’t ask more cause he’ll think I'm that crazy girl who was beyond clingy 2 years ago.

One minute he can’t get enough of me and the next he’ll act like I'm no one. I’ve been thinking about asking to go out together somewhere even as friends to see what it would be like. I know we’d be amazing together but he’s never had a relationship with a girl. I want to be the girl to change that, i know that I'm not just a random girl he’s slept with. Iv’e known him for over 6 years now and we have history together. He always says I'm more special cause he took my virginity. I’ll always have something for this guy i can’t seem to get him out of my head lately. I really don’t know what to do at the minute my mind is all over the place. I don't know what to do?

[Hohenstaufen]

You'll never know until you TALK TO HIM.

No point racking your brain, just suck it up and talk to him about how you feel and where you want your relationship to go.

You mentions that one minute he can't get enough of you and the next he'll act like you're nobody. This wont stop if you're in a relationship with him; will you be OK with this? It sounds as though he lacks emotional maturity.

When he said "I'm thinking about what it would be like being with you" you should have talked to him further about it rather than shying away through fear of looking crazy or clingy. That was your cue to speak to him about it. You could have said "why think about it, why not give it a go?"

TALK TO HIM.

[Wakeup]

Yea... talk to him and instead of just hooking up with him, next time he suggests you get together, ask him to do something other then **** you. If he declines then you don't need to bother "talking to him." His actions of declining will tell you that you're good to **** but that's about it. Up to you how long you want to be a place to cum while he pursues someone he actually wants to be in a relationship with.

Shame you let someone like him not only use you for mutual sex AND take your virginity. I tend to think that you would be far better off having lost that to someone who wanted you as his girlfriend.

"I'm thinking about what it would be like being with you"

pffft. He's had plenty of time to figure that out by now. If he was any kind of a guy that would actually take that kind of step, he would have sealed the deal by now.