Mixed Signals

[cac3232]

Over the past 5 months I've become really close to an employee of mine. She has a boyfriend of four years who lives out of state. I'm 37 and she's 24. We quickly bonded over work then things expanded to texting at night, going to concerts, games, etc. right before Christmas she texted me saying that whoever the girl I'm waiting for is going to be lucky because I'm such a great guy. At work we are inseparable and go to lunch together almost every day. On more than one occasion when apart for several days she has texted saying she misses me. She has visited my apt several times for dinner and just to hang out. Most of those times end with us cuddling on the couch. Just recently I bought a puppy which she absolutely adores. She has a key to my apt and will take care of it when I'm away. I put up some new pics of my family and she commented - the dog will get the girl and the family pics will reel her in even more. There have been several days as of late where she was in a really bad mood and plain and simple just a bitch. She has stopped texting at night and hasnt come over at night in a few weeks. However things at work are great and she still goes home with me at lunch. Am I stupid for thinking she is confused with her feelings and that I have a chance to date her?

[TheEvilJester]

Stupid is not a word I use often. However, you mentioned she has a boyfriend. Is that still the case? If so, then you need to cease and desist immediately. It would be wrong of her to cheat, and it would be wrong of you to entice her to do so. IF you can remain friends with her and nothing more, than feel free to do just that. But, "friends" shouldn't be cuddling and hanging out all the time one on one.

It could very well be that her relationship with her boyfriend is weak and likely to end at any time. ....It could just as easily be that they are a great couple and for all you know they could be engaged to be married by tomorrow. Either way, that is none of your business. Right now she has a boyfriend, so right now she is not available.

If tomorrow they broke up, then you could reconsider at that point. I'd still suggest at least giving her some time to heal, not to mention enough time for you to be sure her relationship actually IS over (sometimes break-ups don't last the first time). However, at that point, you could certainly consider giving it a shot. But, if she currently has a boyfriend, it would be wrong of you to pursue anything with her.

Again, if you can remain just friends with her then fine. Do that. I could be wrong, but it doesn't sound to me like you really want to do that. So, that being the case, it may be better if you keep your distance. That isn't to say you can't still be friendly to her, but if she's not available, then you're only going to be hurting yourself to continue to be so close to her.

Good luck to you either way. I hope you find somebody very soon, whether it turns out that she breaks up with her current fella and you two wind up working out.... or whether it turns out that maybe your special somebody is still out there somewhere.