Heartbroken and trying to cope

[Eddieg123]

This isn't like me but I need someone to talk too. I've been friends with a girl for over a year it was an onine thing we were only casual friends at 1st nothing serious then around November she was having relationship issues it was an ldr. And she started talking to me all the time and at 1st I just wanted to be a good friend, but I fell in love with her. I told her how I felt she didn't return that at 1st then about a month later she acknowledged that she had feelings for me. We agreed to give it a try and it was great at 1st it would have been an ldr as well she asked if I would come see her and I started planning the trip to canada, I'm in the u.s east coast. But it was going great then her ex came back and she just changed and then she broke my heart. For 2 months she didn't speak to me, she blamed me and hated me. And just as I finally started to deal with it. One night she just texted me me and then called me crying and apologizing asking if I hated her.the problem is don't hate her I should but I found the one woman in the world that just makes me happy being around it has now been made clear we will never be more than friends. But I love her I don't know what to do I want to talk to her and we do talk but I also try not to talk to her because of my feelings. I have promised to never pursue anything more than a friendship. I just can't deal with my emotions. This has never happened to me before. What DC o I do I feel like I need her in my life even if it will only ever be friends. But at the same time I feel I never should have responded to that text. I'm 35 years old and have never cried over anyone before but her I cry over and I can't control it. Any advice, should I cut her out of my life,should I keep her in it? I'm so lost, alone and afraid to ruin the friendship that I am trying to mend.

[hazey daisy]

She's not going to give you what you so desire, so sadly in order to heal so you can meet someone who will be your gf is to completely cut her out of your life. If you keep her around you will be denying yourself to finding the one.

She's emotionally attached to you, not in love with you. Attachment can be very addicting and makes you act like you are in love. She is just using you to fill a void.

[billfever]

I was with someone (in a LDR) that said they loved me and all that. Then she ended it, told me she never loved me. Well, I couldn't let go and held on for a long time. She would call me at times, random text here and there. But in time she just kept pulling away. Sadly, the only way out of it is to let go. The only way you will get over the pain you are feeling is to let go. Something I'm having a very hard time doing so I understand. She doesn't love or care about me but I hold on. I heard the same thing, that it would never be more than friends. It hurts and when you are in love with them and they are not in love with you it only means more pain for you. That is where I'm at now. I hope you have better luck than me. Be strong, take care of yourself.