I really love my best friend.

[RRCard]

So right now I'm finishing half of my 3rd university year (5th semester), it's been 2 and 1/2 years now and almost at the start I met a girl and slowly became interested in her, we talk and all that after 2 month of meeting her I realized I loved her but I couldn't do anything since she had a boyfriend at the time, One thing about me is that I lack confidence and have really low self esteem, on the start of the second semester (1/2 of the first year) I wanted to tell her but a guy from the university began dating her and now I been sulking all this long since I liked her way before he did and I couldn't do anything, right now we have become best friends her boyfriend doesn't go to university anymore it's been more than a year since he stop going he spends his time in his house doing nothing, he lives in other city luckily for me I live in the same city as her I see her everyday, she comes to my house almost everyday to study and well she cooks for the both of us, her parents are strict her dad only lets her go out if he knows she is with me I lost some other friends because of my obsession with her yet I still have hope to be with her even thou we are best friends I want to support her a lot, I already do I almost always say yes to her when she asks me something, but she has other friends that she texts with so I get frustrated because I can't comfort her with some of her troubles I want to but I can't I lack understanding and freeze and don't know what to say or react when she tells me something, one thing that she doesn't ask me about is my love life, I don't know if she knows that I love her but I wish she would, I want to try and get even closer to her, I want to be more funny so that she laughs at my jokes I want her to rely on me more but more importantly I want her to know that I love her and that if and when she finally breaks up with her current boyfriend she will have me and not let anyone else have her, I need to make her stop thinking of me as just a friend but to think of someone she can potentially fall in love with and have a family with.

[TheEvilJester]

I know this isn't going to be the answer you really want to hear, but this is one of those times where your best bet is probably not what you'd want. About the only time where it makes sense to continue to hang on to somebody as a friend when you really want more with them, but it isn't possible (or isn't currently possible) is if it does not interfere with your ability/willingness to keep an open mind for finding love elsewhere. In other words, if you can honestly, 100% set aside the idea that anything the two of you will ever be more than friends, and therefore you continue to date other people hoping to find your true love elsewhere.... Then maybe it is okay to continue to be close friends with somebody. Heck, you never know. Fate may decide to eventually bring you together anyway.

Here's the thing.... For you it sounds like that is definitely not the case. It sounds like you are too hooked on this gal to allow yourself to focus on potentially finding love elsewhere. As it is, she's not available right now. She has a boyfriend. IF that were to change, then maybe you could try to ask her out.... but the thing is you should never wait around just hoping that will happen. You should never put your own life on hold waiting around for something that may very possibly never happen.

Heck, for you know, they could be extremely happy together. They could be bound to get engaged any day and wind up happily married. Then, you will have been waiting around for nothing. Unfortunately, it sounds like it would be best for you to begin to distance yourself from her. You shouldn't be deliberately rude or mean to her. Nor should you "ghost" her, necessarily. But, it sounds like it would be in your best interest not to hang around her quite so much. I get, though, that this will be very difficult considering how much you currently do hang out.

The thing is, how are you ever supposed to move on if you are constantly around her? How are you ever going to get over your feelings for her and allow yourself to find somebody else? You never really do know. Maybe in time her and her fella will break up. At that point, you can certainly revisit it then if you wish. But, by the same token, maybe they won't ever break up. Maybe they will stay together, get engaged, get married, have kids, live happily ever after. You shouldn't wait around, putting your life in limbo for something that may never happen. Maybe she could have been a great gal for you if you two ever got that chance.... but that doesn't mean she's the only one who could be.

Good luck to you.

[RRCard]

Sounds logical, but I haven't lost hope, more because she is having troubles with her boyfriend and well I seen her text with other guys and well seems they like her and are sweet talking her, and because how I am I can't seem to find a moment to tell her that I love her and tell her stuff, I haven't had a girlfriend yet so I have no idea how to act or avoid many things, I don't know the right moment to tell her or how to tell her or talk to her about that topic, and I want to avoid that when she breaks up with her boyfriend she starts going with the other guys that are sweet talking her, since she responds to them in a kind of sweet way calling them baby or that she likes them too.

[melancholia]

You do not tell her how you feel while she is in a relationship with someone else. How would you feel if you had a girlfriend and someone told her he loved her? I don't imagine you would think that's fair, polite, or respectful. If you cannot handle your feelings and emotions around this woman, you need to distance yourself from her. Until she ends the relationship she is in, you suck it up and don't tell her. If she does eventually break up with him, then you can tell her. Until then, sit on it.

[RRCard]

I really try, but I am really bad at love, have no experiece in it, and cannot find the right moment to do it, I have change a lot since I met her, but I wasn't able to tell her how I felt when I had the oportunity because of a previous time that I connfesed to a girl with a letter and didn't go well, she stopped talking to me so often and diatanced herself, so that's why I have that fear that if I tell her she will reject me and she will distance herself from me. I don't want that because I am bad at dealing with people and well since I am studying at a university I had to move and that's why right now I don't have many friends I only have 2 best friends from high school, some classmates I talk to at the university and her that she has become one of my best friends and don't want to loose my only friends that actually is a great influence on me. Another point why I can't distace myself from her as someone suggested above is because we are studying similar careers so out of the 5 classes we can take each semester we will always be together in 3 of them. So I will be seeing her always and wont be able to distace from her. It is hard for me to meet other people because I have Social Anxiety so that is why its hard to talk to people, I can speak normally with her.

[hazey daisy]

You are not in love, you are obsessing. You don't tell a girl, that you are not even dating, that you are in love with her. She will get creeped out and run.

I suggest you look to a professional therapist to work on this social anxiety. There are therapies that work pretty good. You need to focus on improving you life, for this girl is not your ticket to a happier life. If she was really interested/attracted to you, she would have dumped her bf by now and pursue you.

[TheEvilJester]

As the others have said, it is never right to confess your love to somebody who is in a relationship. Frankly, I also echo hazey's sentiments. You should never really "confess your love" to somebody unless it is actually your steady girlfriend. In other words, even if this gal DOES wind up breaking up with her boyfriend, your move should not be to "confess your love" to her. Your move should simply be to ask her out just like you would any other gal.

Don't get me wrong. You can make it a little more personal since you two have been so close for a while. Something maybe like "I always really enjoyed hanging out with you and kind of thought we might make a good pair...." In other words, that sort of shares your feelings a little bit without it being like you are the life-long best friend in a romantic comedy confessing your love to the gal who only ever looked at you like a surrogate brother. That is the sort of thing that only works in the movies.

Believe me, I understand social anxiety. I, too, was without even one girlfriend until later in life that most (my 20's). I too was just too shy to bring myself to even ask women out. The thing is, if you let that continue to control you, then it always will. Believe me, I know from experience it is so much easier said than done.... but honestly, the only way to dig your way out of that is to do it by force.

It won't be easy at first. But, little by little if you try and try again, it will become easier to come out of your shell. And, Hell, if it DOES seem too daunting to tackle on your own, please do not hesitate to seek professional help. It is NOT a sign of weakness to admit when you need some help, or to accept it when you need it.

Why should you have to suffer through this alone if a trained professional may be able to help you? Good luck to you either way. You CAN do it. Maybe it seems like it to you right now, but this gal may very well not be "the one." She's taken by somebody else right now. MAYBE in time that will change and then you can consider asking her out. But, maybe it never will change. Maybe her and this fella will make up and wind up together forever/for a long time. Maybe she'll leave him, but then immediately get with some other guy.

You don't deserve to be trapped longing for somebody you may never have. If fate decides to bring you together, great. If not, that doesn't mean you missed your chance, it just means your true match is still out there somewhere else. Good luck!