Mixed messages

[suzie4]

His all,

I'm looking for advice on what to do next as I'm going crazy. I was with my ex partner who's 43 for 3 years and we was living together and engaged. We had our ups and downs like most couples but we're OK. Most of our arguments were over him not having interest in doing anything going out,sex he would just rather stay at home playing playstation or watching movies whilst I like to go out and travel. He would never talk or discuss anything either if we argued he would tell me to shut up and storm off in a huff whilst I'm calling him boring then he wouldn't talk to me but we would get on with it and be OK again.

Just before our 3rd year anniversary he told me he was fed up and was fed up of the arguing and said he didn't know weather he wanted to live on his own as that was what he was used to or to stay with me...I asked why he's so fed up he has everything and I mean I've got him everything he wanted he said he didn't know but again we carried on and he was OK again

A week after he was fed up again and said he didn't want to be at the house I said if you don't want to be here then just go and he did. The next day he said he missed me and wanted to meet up so I met him...he said he was fed up of cleaning the house and that he has this feeling he can't shift so we decided to have few more days apart so he can think.

2 months later I'm emailing him everyday telling him to come back and try again and we can work it out. He wouldn't answer my calls just texts and I said why you Moy answering he said his head was messed up and he doesn't know what to do. So I keep msging him. As I'm about to give up on the 3Rd month he messages me saying that he would like to meet up for a drunk but he's not the same man as he once was. I was like o at least I can get answers. We met and it was like when we first met it was great we talked bout what went wrong we laughed. He kissed me and said he loved me and that he wanted to try again and take things slow like date. I said I Don want to date I think we should try again you come home and we know what the issues are and can work through them but he said he now goes gym with his mates every night and doesn't want to give it up and I said I wouldn't want you to but we can work round that.

We met up 3 times in that week..he came to our old house and said he felt nervous and scared and I said why u used to live here it's exactly the same he said look I gave the gym up for you I'm here I've made an effort I was like I know thanks and again on the Fri he said the same he's come to surprise me and left the gym for me and that I wasn't happy to see him. I said I am I'm just tired and left it like that. The next morning he left and I asked him to stay the Sunday but he said it was his playstation day Sunday and he doesn't like doing much before work min so that was that. My son told me after he left that he had also told him he gave up gym to come over and it kind of gets in the way of your routine. So I called him and asked him what the big deal is about this and if it means that much then not to come over customers it makes me feel bad he said OK and hung the phone up and didn't speak to me for 4 days. I was calling and messaging him saying come on this is silly just talk to me then on the 5th day he answered and I asked why he wouldn't talk and he said because I went off on one and he's fed up and wants to live alone and I should let him go and I said are you sure he said I think so then his phone died. Since then again he's nt answering my calls. He will send the odd message back that his phones playing up but he's still fed up and wants to be on his own and likes his own company but 2 weeks ago he said he loved me and wanted to try again he was great and now this....what shall I do now give him space to think or shall I just move on I just don't get it all.

[red romeo]

speaking from the outside there was or he was interested other women. its natural maby not comforting to hear but if things are or appear to be the same for so long the thought comes along what could be different . when a man doesn’t want to talk to continue to try to find out is usually seen as nagging men need time to be alone to figure things out or talk to a friend they can talk to where there is no backlash. like women like everyone they just want someone to understand to be happy but to say what is wrong may hurt you and he cares enough not to want to do that (doesn’t mean caring equals the best thing for you) when you truly love someone you never forget those times of intense love the good times what it was like comparing past to present in this way usually turns out guy misses out on a good thing negative thoughts creep in quiet easily when confused and taking advice from other people > yes i am even referring to the advice I'm giving you now you going out can but not always lead to the negative thought well who is she with is she really with them why would she lie has she ever lied before there is so much going through a man's mind or opposite the lack there of to avoid it all and declare it doesnt matter and I don't think about that or i wont think about that leading to this is all pointless I just want to relax I'm going to play video games (insert) activity the end of what you said is very clear to me though 2 weeks ago he called and said he loves me nobody wants to be alone even if its not perfect its better than nothing hope this was insightful and eye opening i hope everything works out for both you and him weather that be separate or together