Friends or more?

[SimpleMan19]

So I meet this girl in my apt. Complex about 1 yr ago, lets call her Lexy. She was dating somone and so was I at the time. Well actually i had gotten back with my ex who previously cheated on me. We dated 4 yrs total. Anyways, Lexys boyfriend broke it up with her (very long distance relationship lasted 1 yr). And shortly afterwards we started hanging out more and more.

My relationship was not doing so well, and i was starting to have feelings for Lexy. She also had feelings for me which she expressed. We ended up having dinner and wine one night and it turned into kissing. We said that we couldn't do this and I was still in a relationship which i was trying to be serious about working on (my partner fell out of love). Anyways, we had dinner and wine again (was turning into a reg wed night thing) and we ended up Hooking up on two seperate occasions. I told her we needed to back off which we did. I tried to work on my relationship but it failed. First and hopefully last girl i ever cheat on. I regret it, but I couldn't have done it if she hadn't hurt me so much before. And i knew she no longer loved me.

So once my ex and I decided to end it for real I then pursued Lexy again. However she became distant for a few weeks and I finally confronted her. She revealed that she felt partly responsible for my breakup. I assured her she was not the reason, tho she may have accelerated the process.

Within a few weeks we were hanging out again and flirting like before. I told her I would like to pursue a realtionship with her, but she declined. She insists were are best friends. And I was ok with that. I'm an adult and I can deal with just being friend's.

But its not that simple. When we drink we often kiss,very deep long sessions. However, she wont sleep with me and the kissing is only in private and when we drink. (Tho she did tell a few ppl that we hooked up when we were on a camping trip). So I again told her that im fine if we are just makeout buddies but if one of us gets a relationship than it all has to end. She agreed. We often talk about dates (more so her) but she found out about one of my dates and expressed to me how she hated to think about me with another woman. We ended up kissing and fooling around a bit that night, but she denied me again for sex. I told her thats not fair and she can't get pissed at me for seeing other ppl. I said the only way to stop that is date me yourself. She appolgized and admitted it wasn't fair.

She even asked me to move in to her new house. Mostly for financial reasons, but we decided against that. Now I'm sitting here confused as all hell. Does she want me or not?

[melancholia]

Do you make out with other friends of yours? I certainly don't make out with my friends. You two aren't just friends. There are romantic feelings involved, and that means your relationship isn't platonic. It sounds like her hesitation stems either from the fact that you cheated on your last girlfriend with her, and maybe she is worried you would cheat on her; or maybe she thinks your break up was so recent, that jumping into another relationship seems scary to her. There's no way to know for sure what's going on in her mind about you and your relationship, but it's foolish to think you two have an actual platonic friendship... honestly, grow up and look at the facts here. You two clearly have feelings for each other, but for one reason or several, she doesn't want to commit to you.

I think you should talk to her about what she's thinking and feeling. Ask her why she is hesitant to become exclusive with you, and really listen to what she has to say. I would definitely suggest you two stop hanging out and participating in bonding activities reserved for romantic relationships, and definitely stop making out... and, most importantly, do not move in with her. I know you said you declined, but that would be the absolute dumbest move you could do.

Talk to her. See where it goes from there.