Need advice, he's so confusing.....

[Pixxie1]

So my mate and I had a snog last Monday, he was drunk but seemed thrilled, the Tuesday after he was still so happy but on thr Wednesday he said he didn't want anything more.... So I was fine about it. This guys hasn't been with anyone in 4 years and he's 38, he's really shy and I'm the opposite. Anyway on the Friday we were drinking in the pub I work in with our mates (he works round the corner) he ended up getting drunk again and went to kiss me. I reminded him that this was in front of everyone, and his actions meant it wouldn't just be us that knew anymore, he said he didn't care and went for it....
After we kissed and such he told me how he would do anything for me, and how he wanted to let me into his life but he's put up barriers, but said with my help he will pull them down. He told me he couldn't believe hos luck with me and all the usual nice things.
Nalext day comes and he does the same thing but this time he does open up and says in the cold light of day a relationship makes him feel uneasy but he meant every word he said. But that he's scared of his feelings for me....


Please help!

[tuningintothe1]

Hi Pixxie1,

What do you want most with him? That’s important to clarify.

Since he was drunk when he kissed you in public, and he’s pretty shy like you mentioned, he’ll likely stay shy when he’s sober. Which is fine, as long as you’re okay with that.

What you may not be okay with is him not wanting a relationship. But what does “relationship” mean to you? And to him? If your definitions line up, you could be fine together after all.