I like him, I may have messed up. Help me please

[Jamxoxo]

Hello,

I have this guy that I am interested in, however I'm a bit hesitant because of past relationship traumas and I think my insecurities scared him away. He and I were set up on a blind date with friends in 8th or 9th grade and after that lost contact with each other. Got back in contact after a couple of years, lost contact again. Then back into contact and spent that time just chatting. He has expressed that he is interested in getting to know me. I tried to play like there are many women out there, why me? He goes, "Maybe I like you more than you do. Or I see value that has been previously neglected." Personally, that sounds good...but for me it always ended up with them trying to have sex with me. They always start with good intent, but then turns sour. Anyways, about 2 weeks ago he came to my house at 2 am and we sat in his car for 3 hours just talking about life, we even kissed. He was even trying to hold my hands but I told him I didn't want to because they were clammy. He held them anyway and was being sweet about it.. well this is where it starts to go down hill. He works a job where he is busy most of the time and can't always text. I am a person who loves to text. All day if we can. I also like to send/receive good morning messages and such. He did that every now and then, but the issue came in when I felt like I was being ignored. I would send a hope your day is going well and etc and sometimes get no reply... but he would be on Facebook. I always had the problem of bringing up issues to my partner or whomever, idk why. But I went back and forth about whether I should say how i felt or not. Well i did and said "I'm not liking how I feel ignored or whatever, so I'm chillen." Probably wasn't the best way to say how I felt.... he said , "Sorry when I'm stressed I'm a recluse. I just zone out all the time and is always on edge. From a ticket, work and arguing with my mom." I replied, "Sorry all this is going on, but why should I be ignored? Especially when i was trying to be positive and hope you were having a better work day. A thank you or something would have been nice 😳 I'm going to bed, night." He then explained what happened at work and I sent a message the next day saying, "Good morning. 🤔 I see, last thing I want to do is add more stress for you. Just letting you know how I felt and prefer if you'd just not ignore me, when I'm being sincere. Well damn, did your boss say anything back?" He replied, No he was quiet. All I heard were some people laughing" and I said, "Lol he probably was embarrassed." That was the last message between us since June 29th.

What should I do? Please help me. I think I may have messed up, especially with a good man.

Can I come back from this? Do I send him a message to see how he is? Or is it a dub?

P.s. give it to me real.
Thank you.

[billfever]

I'm not so sure you messed up. You might be a little needy/clingy and I say this because I did the same thing. With my ex I would get upset if she didn't respond to my texts or calls. I would start to wonder if she was ignoring me, etc. If you send him a message just send something lighthearted, funny.

[melancholia]

It doesn't sound like you messed up, but it does sound like you lack confidence and self-esteem. Men and women generally gravitate toward people with confidence. I understand where you're coming from and why you react the way you do, because it's not easy to trust people and it's a challenge to be vulnerable with someone new. Some thing to keep in mind, is that when he tells you that he likes you, and you ask him "why?", or when he tries to hold your hand and you tell him you don't want to, it might make him feel invalidated when you do that. Try to trust what he says when he tells you he likes you, or when he tries to be affectionate with you. People do those things because they want to get closer to you, and as long as he respects your boundaries, you should have fun with it.

I think you should reach out to him. Send him a text and ask how he's been and, if you can, ask him if he wants to get together. June 29 wasn't that long ago. It's not like it's been weeks, or months since you last talked. Reach out and see how he responds, then go from there.

[Jamxoxo]

Thank you so much! I will be messaging him today. As far as self confidence and esteem, what is the best way to work on that?