Good morning all. I'm new here, and feel a bit foolish, as I never thought I would get to my 40's and still be needing help. This is long, so sorry and please bear with me and thanks.
I have been friends on off over nearly 30 yrs, with my best friends brother. I realised a few years ago that I had some feelings for him so stopped contact as this was not fair as I was in a relationship. This was no issue as our chats were only random and months apart.
Fast forward to early this year, no longer in relationship and when drunk one night, I blurted out to my best friend that I liked her brother, she nearly choked on her drink. Anyway long story short, he got back in touch after she told him, and we began a wonderful funny friendly relationship.
About mid April he asked to meet up and I agreed, we had a lovely day out and I said after returning home, that I did like him in that way but was scared to get involved due to trust issues etc. Regardless we carried on and eventually I fell in love with him, I think, as I've never felt like this before. Not long after he felt the same.
He is the kindest thoughtful person I've ever met. I was his first proper relationship so I know he has not been hurt before or felt like that before. We have a LDR but both did our best to meet up. All was going amazing, he works long hours and had said at the start that he didn't like his job, we had many discussions about him finding a better job, and then eventually, and I mean years, him moving closer etc.
We were in touch all last week and on Fri morning he text me I love you, as usual, by Friday afternoon he ended it saying, he never loved me and had only said it because he felt he had to but would not live a lie.
This is a man who does or says nothing unless he chooses and if he doesn't want to he will not budge. He has been on his own for over 10 yrs due to work, and so has never really had to think of anyone but himself. However as a brother, son and friend, he gave his all and my best friend is in shock at what he has done, as much as I am.
I think he could not deal with his emotions as he has never had them before. It was all very intense and wonderful and he said I was some sort of wonderful and I made him the happiest he has ever been. He wanted to spend his life with me etc
Then, it was all made up! We are still sort of in contact and I'm feeling so lost and confused. I know he struggles with self esteem, and many times questioned my feelings for him, but finally said that he was confident about us and so we moved forward.
Thanks for taking the time to read and thanks for any thoughts, on what has happened here. It was out of the blue, he however said he thought for a few days, yet his words and actions towards me never changed. He never pulled away or became distant. Morning in love, afternoon, ended it.