Love, life's cruel game or am i just a fool?

[Jessicaleigh998]

Never used a forum but as im feeling a bit alone and unsure where to go or what to do so sorry guys i kinda found u...

I was going to start by explaining the 13 years of rollercoaster feelings that has bought me here but as i started writing it down i realised maybe id sound silly and pathetic and i didnt want to bore anyone so instead i ask

if its real love do u think no matter how difficult and complicated life is love will eventually win? Or do you think sometimes life is cruel enough to tease but make it impossible?

Or maybe this isn't even love maybe this is not being able to have the chance to see the what ifs and as a result it makes things more tempting?

Any advice on how to get over someone who's been absent but such a big part of your heart and mind for the last 13 years even though there's never been a happy ever after written?

Xxx

[TheEvilJester]

First off, don't ever feel silly and pathetic. Who among us hasn't been through the wringer now and then in our love lives? If your problems were important enough to you to bring you here, then you should not be ashamed to share. Heck, that's part of the point of a message board like this. To be able to share anonymously and get thoughts and advice from strangers who wish to help as best they can.

Now, to some degree I have always felt that love will always find a way if it is meant to be. With that said.... if you have been interested in a person for 13 years.... I'd suggest that if love was going to find a way it would have found a way. 13 years is a long time to spend fixated on the same person without any progress. Don't get me wrong, though. I'm not suggesting that this means this person was probably THE ONE for you, but you somehow missed the opportunity.

Quite the contrary, my point is if this person WAS the one, something would have happened. The very fact that it has been SO long without anything coming of it tells me that is probably because they aren't the one. ...Still, have you ever tried sharing your feelings with them? Asking them out? At the very least, if you never have maybe you should. That is unless he/she is already in a relationship. Assuming they are not, wouldn't it be so much better ending this 13 year torment. There would be one of two outcomes. Either A) They like you as well and you finally get to be with them..... or B) They don't feel the same way and, sure that sucks.... but at least now you can move on and find somebody else.

You deserve somebody. Maybe you don't believe it, but you do. By allowing yourself to spend 13 years pining after one person, you may have missed several chances to be with somebody special. I don't mean to sound unromantic, because I do believe in true love (for anybody but me, anyway), but there isn't just ONE person who can be your perfect match. There could be plenty of people who could. That isn't to say it is any less special when you find somebody you feel is "THE ONE." I'm just saying that you shouldn't fixate too long on one person without at least trying to make it happen.

Good luck to you. If you want to share more details, I would happily offer whatever advice and thoughts I can, as I am sure others would.