Sorry if this is in the wrong thread, but as sex is mentioned throughout, I thought it would be safest to post it here!
First and foremost, I'm mostly writing this for my own benefit, but any and all advice/feedback is appreciated. I can't promise I'll reply, but all responses will be read, and if there are any clarifying questions that are asked, I'll do my best to get back to those in a timely manner. Also, I rambled and probably gave too much information, but I figure everything is more suitably understood when in the fullest context I can remember.
I started working at a new job right around the end of December as a cashier, my first retail job ever. Right off the bat, I developed a tiny crush on one of my coworkers, a shift manager. His appearance was exactly my type, and he was very patient and kind when working with me while I was learning the ropes. Still, it was an innocent enough little crush and didn't interfere with my work at all. I later found out through my other coworkers that he'd been in a long-term relationship for.... four or five? years, and he's living with her. That was the end of that for a long time, feelings were left alone to sit under a rock, I moved on.
One day, one of my coworkers confessed to me that the guy I had a crush on (we'll refer to him from now on as SM) was terribly mistreated by his gf. She cheated on him and he had to find out on his own rather than her coming clean, she uses his money, and since he found out she was cheating on him, they haven't kissed or had sex or acted like a couple at all. Apparently, everyone in the store knows just how crappy she is and it's a common gossip topic, which I think SM doesn't like but also doesn't get mad about because he knows its all true. He's said he and his.... not/gf?? have fun as friends, but he doesn't really feel love for her anymore, and he doesn't think she feels love for him. HOWEVER, in spite of all of this, they still live together - if they broke up, he wouldn't have anywhere to live, unless he moved back in with his father.
Well, learning all of that really ticked me off, because SM is a kind and genuinely good person. It was none of my business, but my crush on him flared up again, and I sort of lost sight of what I should or shouldn't stick my nose into. So I started texting him some puppy pictures (he likes dogs) and chatting with him and we slowly became better and better acquaintances. My motivation, at first, was genuinely just to try to be a friend to him. As the days passed, however, our conversations took a turn, and we started talking about our sexual interests with each other. He complained about being unable to have sex for so long, and I complained about my own problems with the men and women in my sex life never satisfying me or listening to what I want in the bedroom. I told him what I liked and he gushed about how much he'd like to try everything I was interested in. There were times where our texts got downright flirtatious and challenging, but one of us would backpedal or change the subject, so it was never blatantly insinuated either of us had legitimate interest in the other.
One night, all of us coworkers met up at one woman's house to play board games and card games. SM and I sat next to each other and whispered stuff to each other and joked around and had a lot of fun. He even pressed his foot up against mine, and I genuinely wasn't sure if he was being flirtatious or not. When it was time to leave, he walked me to my car, and I thought for SURE he was going to invite me over (his not/gf was out of town), but... He didn't. And in a way, I was relieved, because who wants to be a homewrecker? (Although it seems home is already wrecked beyond repair, in my point of view).
Of course.... The moment I got back home, he texted me, regretting not inviting me over to "Watch some movies" or something. I told him that even though it was late, I wasn't tired, and he gave me his address. We didn't even get halfway through the first movie before he made a move on me, and it was like the world shifted. We had sex for a few hours, and then I went home. He invited me back the next day, and we did it again...
Since that night/next day combo, we've had sex two more times. He satisfies me like no one in my entire life ever has, and we have a great time. We've been more than capable of turning everything off and being responsible employees when we work together, and we haven't told anyone about what we've been doing. However...
I'm filled with a lot of conflicting feelings. Everyone knows he and his not/gf haven't been happy for a long time, and honestly... I don't really feel guilty for sneaking around behind her back. BUT, I have legitimate feelings for SM, and I'm pretty sure he's only interested in me for the sex I provide. We had a long talk over text where he mentioned really trying to find somewhere to live so he could properly leave his not/gf, but I have no idea if he'll really do it, and if he does, will he want to be with me? Will he just keep having sex with me? Will he start banging other girls too and slowly drop me?
I've worked myself into this predicament, and I guess what I'm asking is...
Should I tell him we need to stop until he isn't living with his not/gf anymore? Should I tell him I have feelings for him? Should I keep doing what we've been doing, because in spite of everything, it makes him and me pretty happy? Should I just stop everything entirely forever because my feelings are gonna put me in a dark place when the day finally comes that he doesn't want to keep having sex? I want to be honest with him about how I feel but I'm too scared I'll drive him away and ruin not only the thing we've got going, but also our friendship, and our ability to work together...
As an end note, feel free to morally berate me if you wish for the things I've done, but I'm genuinely here to ask advice and would appreciate more than a "maybe you should read the Bible and chill" sort of comment. I'm super aware I shouldn't have done most of this stuff lol, I'm regretting a lot of it now. Thank you!