My ex boyfriend just got engaged this weekend and it's literally killing me inside. I can't stop thinking about it. For weeks. I don't know what to do. We broke up at the end of January, and it was definitely over, but we used to break up and get back together so much it felt like we would be together again, somehow, someday. He told me he started dating someone in March, which felt incredibly fast, and I tried to step back and accept it cause he said he liked her. But I still loved him. And then in June when I thought I was ok with it, he said that he was going to get engaged to her in August cause they'd been talking for a while now and it was the next thing to do and it felt like a sucker punch. We've stayed in touch via texting because we had wanted to stay friends, but it's been very short because it was so hard talking to him while he was seeing someone else. I don't know why I hadn't taken that opportunity to talk to him more. Maybe been there any moment he had any doubts? There have been tines when I've been able to not think about it anymore or be ok, but since last month it's been non stop. Like I wake up thinking about him and sleep thinking about our last conversation in January when we talked about moving forward with the relationship and ended up breaking up. He really loved me and wanted to be with me, and I loved him too, but we got into a huge fight and I was so scared about all the ups and downs we used to have that I said no even though it felt so right. I also had so much other stuff going on with family, weddings, work, I just overthought everything. I tried dating someone else which helped, but then in the end I kept comparing them too because things were not going well.
I don't know what to do or how to get over this. Would it help to talk to him now?? I don't want to profess my feelings to him or anything, just talk. Like sometimes I feel like I can talk to him and just act like everything's ok and maybe it will be. Trying to ignore it hasn't been helping. But he's engaged And I saw their picture together, they both loom so happy and in love.. I feel like it should be me. What should I do about all of this jealousy and hurt feelings?