My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half, and it hasnt been smooth sailing consistently at all through out the entire relationship. He has a ton of authority over me and tells me what music to listen to, which friends to have, and to delete my social media accounts for good. He as access to my phone and accounts btw. But recently hes been very hypocritical. He doesnt let me on his phone at all and keeps most of his texts and conversations private. He has me on a kind of "curfew", getting super angry and condescending if i stay with my friends too long. He calls me a dictator for trying to invade privacy. I'm constantly called insane, crazy, paranoid, a bitch, jerk, monster and many other things during arguments that involve me calling him out for him lying. And the worst part is, Ive been anxious and depressed, two things i thought i handled and controlled finally after years of medication and therapy, all because of him. Im not always a victim i have to confess i do yell back at him and get mad and try to defend myself. But when i do that he says something about a guy who raped me knowing it makes me insecure instantly and triggered, in order to make a point as if im the reason guys are jerks to me and either sexually abusive or in his case verbally.
He refuses to let me dump him or break up, he drives to my house and forces me to see him to situate our problems because he loves me and wants to be with me forever.
How do i get a guy like him to change and to see what he does is wrong?