What are you thankful for?

[TheEvilJester]

....Must....resist......urge for....evil joke. ....Must....resist...... Must....resist urge....


That they haven't found the bodies!

.... DAMN IT! I was doing so well. LOL!

[melancholia]

Every time I get disrespected by a douche bag dude who cat calls me, I feel so thankful for my boyfriend, who is so kind and respectful. It reminds me how lucky I am, but also, it reminds me that most guys aren't complete pigs.

[TheEvilJester]

That is great! ...In fairness, though, I think you are slightly wrong about one thing. Most guys ARE complete pigs.... just not all of them. Your fella is proof that not all of them are, but I still think most of them are. I'm sometimes ashamed to be one.

[melancholia]

You're right, TEJ.

I cannot tell you how many times men have treated me like an animal, or some kind of object. The things I've been subject to are horrifying. I've been barked at by men, like a f.ucking dog. I've been screamed at by men hanging out of car windows, I've had guys say "nice tits" when I'm walking down the street with my parents; I've had men touch my body in public, and then act confused when I punch them in the face... I've had men stop me in the street while I'm running errands, just to tell me they've been following me for several blocks and they "just had to tell me how beautiful" I am... and I am certainly not the only woman who deals with this kind of thing. Every single woman has to deal with it. We are all told at a young age that if we dress/look/act a certain way, that we are asking for that kind of behavior. As if it's our fault that our mere existence is too much for a douche bag to handle, and we are the reason he becomes a f.uckboy.

So many men, even the good ones, do not understand what it's like for us. They see us freak out a guy who hits on us, and they think we are overreacting, but really we are f.ucking tired of having to deal with it all the time. Every day I leave my house, I have to think about what might be said/done to me... because that is how it is when you're a woman. And it has nothing to do with how I look, or how any woman looks, because we can wear the grubbiest clothing and no make up and messy hair, and we will still be called a sl.ut or asked if we want to sit on some guy's face... It has nothing to do with how we look. It has everything to do with those specific men's sense of entitlement and desperate need for validation and acknowledgement. And the amount of times I've had a guy go from hitting on me to threatening to kill me, or tell me I'm an "ugly f.ucking b!tch" in the time it takes me to turn him down, is enough to make anyone puke.

It's not every single guy I see that disrespects me in some way, but every time I do leave the house, one or two guys will disappoint me and solidify how prevalent misogyny is. I still think the majority of men are not douche bags and they respect and love women, and are equally horrified at the way other men treat and view women. Even though I am truly thankful for men who respect and love women, and who identify as feminists, those guys shouldn't be looked at as heroes, it should be expected that all men treat women with respect, and do not treat them like animals or objects. Respect should be a given.

This wasn't intended to become a rant, it's just this particular topic is a hot button for me and sometimes we just have to let it out.

So to change the topic to something I am thankful for... I am thankful for coffee this morning. And the fact that my body is sore from a kickboxing class I took last night, and I love that kind of pain when you know you used your body to do amazing things!

[gr8love]

I am thankful that I changed my life and turned it from realy negative to positive !!!! Therefore I want to help each one that struggles like I did !!!!!

[TheEvilJester]

I definitely cannot say I know how you feel from experience. Men don't really have to go through that same crap. Women don't tend to objectify men the way men do women. It honestly, though, just boggles my mind how any guy could think it is okay to act the way that these guys do. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if it is MOST men that are like that and that the few men who know how to be respectful are actually the minority.

In all honesty, it probably is true that the respectful men are the majority, it's just that the pigs are a very vocal minority, so they get noticed more than the good guys. Still, I don't know sometimes. To be honest, even as a guy I have always hated that notion that the way a woman dressed can be inviting that kind of attention. To be perfectly honest, even if a woman is walking the streets dressed in nothing but a bikini and stiletto heels, that is NOT an invitation to lay your hands upon her or say lewd things to her. Can a woman not just be confident in her body?

I mean, if a woman flips out on a guy simply for looking at her..... yeah, then I'd say she's overreacting. (BIG difference, by the way, between simply looking at a gal you find attractive and gawking/ogling at a gal you find attractive.) If a woman flips out on a guy for just a little innocent flirting, or just for asking her out.... maybe I'd say she's overreacting. But, barking at a woman... (Seriously? Are you a human man or an F'ing animal?) Cat calling at her.... Saying thins like "Nice T's..." Does that $h*t actually work for these men sometimes? I just cannot even wrap my head around what kind of moron would think that is okay.

And you're right. They get called out on it and they act like everybody else is wrong. They act like there is something wrong with anybody who has a problem with the way they act. I think one of the things that really p*$$e$ me off about it too is that it ruins things for the few good people out there. Now women have to be so on guard all the time that it makes it hard for good guys to ask them out without the gal having to be so guarded thinking that they may just be another gross pig.

I am SO ridiculously shy in general and a million times more so when it comes to women. It's hard enough for me to talk to women without having to also add on the concern that they are going to instantly treat me like $h*t for so much as saying a word to them because, in their mind, they are thinking I'll turn out to be just like all the other pigs who treat them like eye candy. Believe me, though, I'm not at all trying to compare the struggles women have vs. the struggles nice guys have as result of these pig-headed men ruining the experience for the rest of us. Sucks for us nice guys, but believe me, I get that doesn't even hold a candle to what women have to go through.

Anyways, agreed with you. Let's accentuate the positive. Eliminate the negative.

I actually agree with you with the soreness after a workout. I don't do the kickboxing, but I do cardio (elliptical, stationary bike, etc.) and weight training/strength training. After a good workout, especially the weight/strength training, I'm often pretty sore the next day or two. It sounds weird, but I actually love that pain/soreness. It tells me I had a good workout, it tells me I'm making progress, it's almost like a badge of honor. I'm proud of myself for being able to stick to it.

By the way, I think it is absolutely AWESOME that you take up kickboxing! I admire strong women. I always look up to a woman who can take care of herself.... but I hope she never HAS to anyway. Though, will certainly help you out when you have to punch some pig-headed men in the face. LOL!

[melancholia]

Hey [MENTION=71386]TheEvilJester[/MENTION]

Thanks for your input and observations. You are correct that women cannot objectify men in the same way women are objectified by men. Other than specific, contextual situations, like strippers/celebrity fandom etc. Women really cannot strike the same type of fear in men as men can in women. Even if I were ripped and strong enough to fight a guy, most men are at least 5" taller than me, and at least 50lbs heavier, so they could actually kill me if they wanted to. Thankfully, that hasn't happened to me. But I know women who have been walking home and they have had men try to grab them and take them somewhere, and when they post about it to try and get some kind of support, people say "why were you walking home alone? Don't you know better than that?"... classic victim blaming right there.

You said, "In all honesty, it probably is true that the respectful men are the majority, it's just that the pigs are a very vocal minority, so they get noticed more than the good guys." and that is definitely true. The majority of men aren't pigs. Even if they THINK the same things as those cat callers and gropers, they don't act on it. It's one thing to think dirty things about someone you find attractive, but to go that extra step and actually say it to someone's face is completely inappropriate.

I've never screamed at a man for simply looking at me, or for saying "Hi, have a nice day" or whatever. It's the gross behavior that I react strongly to, and I've also tried approaching it in different ways. I've tried making jokes, I've tried reasoning with them and saying, "hey, I am your peer; what makes you think I want to be treated that way?", I've reduced myself to physically assaulting people (only after being grabbed/touched by them without my consent), and I've tried ignoring them as well. I've asked men before, "Has hanging out a car window and screaming 'the things I would do to you!' ever actually worked?" It doesn't really matter how I react, because it's a reaction they want, whether it's positive or negative. They aren't calling me out because they think I'm nice, they are doing it so I notice them.

I understand that men can be abused by women, too. Which is unacceptable in its own right. It's not ok to abuse another person, regardless of the circumstances. I also recognize that there are men out there who are fighting misogyny as well and who identify as feminists, and those people are great! When people realize that intersectional feminism benefits everyone - men included - we can begin to get ahead. Unfortunately, I don't think misogyny will ever become extinct.

I like your NRBQ reference there, TEJ

I love kickboxing! I have always struggled to stick to a work out plan, but I have a lot of energy and pent up aggression, and kickboxing is a fantastic way to release some of that tension for me. The class I took was part kickboxing, part self defense and it was so RAD! 30 minutes never felt shorter and DAMN am I sore today haha. I'm always much more sore the 2nd day after working out. I love feeling sore after a work out! It's a good kind of pain for sure.

Today, I am thankful for good music, and the fact that my 10K egg hatched an Onyx this morning in my Pokemon Go app. Be thankful for the little things, right? hahaha

[dollhouse]

Thankful one of my best girlfriends will be coming into town tomorrow and I haven't seen her for almost half a year since she moved for a lucrative job offer...missed her dearly and have planned so many things for us to do while she is here for the week.

[TheEvilJester]

I am thankful that I managed to form into a very responsible and mature adult..... yet also never lost that child-like quality and ability to be immature in the appropriate settings that can make life so much fun sometimes.

Sometimes I can't help but chuckle at myself for how much of a nerd I am. For example, I collect Pop Vinyls (pic of one of my most recent ones purchased below for anybody who does not know what they are). They don't really DO anything, they just sit around my apartment as decoration.... But I love them and every time I collect a new one I get so excited and just being able to see it in my collection makes me really happy.

I'm really glad I never have lost that child-like quality about me because, to me, being able to be immature in the right settings (but still be mature in the right settings as well) is what makes life fun. I always felt bad for people who lose the childlike nature and seem to think that being an adult has to mean ALWAYS being an adult.

FU7625lg.jpg

[melancholia]

Today, I am thankful for William Shakespeare's Star Wars books. They are a delight to read on my daily commute to work!

"Vader, only thou couldst be so bold." - Leia

[megvoh]

I am thankful that I managed to form into a very responsible and mature adult..... yet also never lost that child-like quality and ability to be immature in the appropriate settings that can make life so much fun sometimes.

Sometimes I can't help but chuckle at myself for how much of a nerd I am. For example, I collect Pop Vinyls (pic of one of my most recent ones purchased below for anybody who does not know what they are). They don't really DO anything, they just sit around my apartment as decoration.... But I love them and every time I collect a new one I get so excited and just being able to see it in my collection makes me really happy.

I'm really glad I never have lost that child-like quality about me because, to me, being able to be immature in the right settings (but still be mature in the right settings as well) is what makes life fun. I always felt bad for people who lose the childlike nature and seem to think that being an adult has to mean ALWAYS being an adult.

FU7625lg.jpg

Lol, that is so cute! you do love her. Did you only purchase her character's from the new movie?

[TheEvilJester]

Nope, I've started collecting all of the new ones from the new movie. She was the first I got from the new movie, but I've also picked up Gertrude Aldridge (the ghost from early in the movie) and Patty Tolan (Leslie Jones's character). Holtzmann and Patty were my favorite characters from the new movie. (Holtzmann is my number one favorite, but Patty is a close second.) I'll be collecting all of them from the new movie (and already have all of the ones from the original movies), especially because the comic book store where I have my game nights sells them. I love that place, so I like giving them my money. :-)

[Jffs24]

^ R O F L why did the spammer quote topaz?

I am thankful for living several states away from my annoying cousin.

[melancholia]

I am thankful for the email I received yesterday from the Provincial court of BC, which accepted my application for a position at the court house! I am so stoked and hope I can make a good impression during the interview process! Wish me luck!

[megvoh]

Good luck on your interview, melancholia.