Who said 'I Love You' first?

[melancholia]

Did you say 'I love you' to your SO first, or did they? My significant ex (and the only guy I've loved until now) told me first, over the phone while he was on a trip to Mexico. I said it back because I felt the same way. I am now dating a new guy, the most amazing boyfriend ever, and I definitely love him but I haven't said it yet. I'm scared to initiate vulnerability, but can always reciprocate. I did tell him on Wednesday, but while he was asleep so he couldn't hear me lol. I wanted to practice saying it and practice not hearing it back, just in case. I'd rather hear him say it first, but I will wait for the right moment.

I want to hear your stories!

[breathe123]

I think you'll definitely hear it back, melancholia.

My bf now said it first during sex lol but then said it again next day out of bed which I preferred.

[JimBo90]

My SO and I had been saying we love each other prior to being in a relationship. We were friends for years. But you know when to say it..the right time will present itself and everything will feel perfect.

[megvoh]

A mix of both, them or I saying it. I actually told one boyfriend who was hinting at getting me to tell him I love him, because clearly he wanted me to say it first so he could reply back but I wasn't saying it because didn't want to ruin whatever and I told him I don't want to say anything and he goes why and I said because I don't know if you feel the same as me and before I could finish the sentence he blurted out , "I Love You " and I smiled and said I Love You too and we kissed.

We both wanted the other do do it first but when he saw I wouldn't until he confirmed his feelings he did it first.

[TheEvilJester]

Good luck to you, melancholia. I don't really have all that much experience, so I can't offer much in the way of thoughts and advice. But, you is one my peeps here. LOL! So, I at least wanted to share that you rock and I'm sure he's crazy about you. Hopefully he says it first and removes all doubt in your mind.... but if not, don't feel like you can't. If it suddenly feels right, just go for it. Maybe he'll be ready to say it back, maybe not, but even if not you can hopefully at least get a sense for whether it seems like he does. Sometimes it is hard for people to allow themselves that much vulnerability.

Either way, you rule the school of cool! ;-) Good luck to you!

[melancholia]

Thanks [MENTION=79987]megvoh[/MENTION] that was a super cute story.

Thank you, TEJ, you're my main man on this forum lol It really seems like he does love me, just by the way he treats me and the things he says to validate them. It's a really hard thing for me to get close to people. I want to be absolutely sure of how I feel before I say it; because once you say something like that, you can't take it back. I feel love for him for sure, I just want to take it day by day and I will say it when the time feels right, whether he says it first or not.

[TheEvilJester]

Well, you could always kind of try to back pedal. Like, if you say it and it seems like he isn't responding well, just be kind of like... "I love you.... 2. U2. The band. I love U2." LOL! I'm kidding, of course.

As they often say, actions speak louder than words. So, if it seems to you like he does love you, then that is probably because he does. So, I think it is pretty likely he'll feel the same way. But, like you said, just say it when it feels right to you. Hopefully he beats you to the punch. Even though actions speak louder than words, those are three little words that are very important. So, I most definitely understand your apprehension. Good luck to you! I think in no time you'll both be saying it without a second thought.

[melancholia]

Hahaha except that I detest U2... the band, not you [MENTION=71386]TheEvilJester[/MENTION]

I agree that actions speak louder than words, except my love language is words of encouragement. So words are equally important to me to validate the behavior displayed to me. I'm not on edge or anything about this, I know I will say it when the timing feels right. I simply wanted other people's perspectives and to hear stories of people who've bit the bullet and said it first.

Something that makes me laugh though is that he will say it to his friends all the time, which is understandable because I do the same thing. But we were at Costco a couple weeks ago and he asked one of the clerks for a second sample of something and she was like, "yeah, sure." and he said, "You're the best. I love you!" lol. I laughed at that for sure. I know how important it is to mean it when you say it, especially if you're saying it to your SO for the first time. As much as I want him to mean it when he says it, I want to be sure that I mean it if I am going to say it.

Anyone have any horror stories to share? I'd love to hear those as well lol.