Please help...idk what to do...

[Toriwhit1004]

Ok so my .husband and I got .in to a really. Huge fight and it involved baby mamma drama...long story short...he got pissed an sent a dick pic to her.....and idk what to do :'( we haven't even been married for a yr....Oct 4th will b a hr. September 1st will b 2yrs since we got together....I need help....I already had trust issues . anwe hve issues In our marriage already but..this just made it worse:'(

[breathe123]

That's so wrong on so many levels & was he drunk or high when he did it, because a normal person in a committed relationship does NOT send pictures of their dick to anyone, an ex included. Wrong. He might still want her? Why send her the dick picture of all people? If the marriage isn't working, try therapy together to help strengthen it & if still it doesn't work, maybe this isn't the right man for you? Has he apologized for doing that?

[Toriwhit1004]

He doesm smoke...he can't cause he has a cdl amb if hed fail a test hed lost his job plus license...am drunk idt he was cause he told me .this when he was at a friend's house pulling a motor out of the guys truck....but I did go thru the text message history on the phone company site and there was no mms message sent to her....I went all the way back to a week....and found nothing...if he would have sent a picture to her it would come up as that. It does...or did (when we used to do that kinda stuff) for when ido semb him pics....I didn really believe him cause during the fight we were In while this drama was happening he told me (he was on the phone with her...) that he cheated on me with her an then told her right in front. Of .me that he was still in love with her.....and i knew the cheating was a lie cause I was asked him to shake his head yes or no while he was on phone with her if it was true and he said no.....I wanna believe him.....the part were he said he was stiull in love withe her is questionable cause he has a child with her...so I mEan it's possible he does love her but not that way......idk there's more to it....if there's a message thing on here (idk if tbere is..new to this) if it's ok i can PM u amb fill u in on what happened and what the drama was......im waiting for insurance to kick In for therapy. He already said he'd do it with me....thats hope right? :'( also when i asked why he said those things....the cheating abm tbat he loved her in front of the he said he did it cause he wamted to hurt me.....said I did not deserve that one bit AT ALL. Even after what had happened.

[megvoh]

Eeks and omg, that is awful and all he said was as bad as the pic sending. That's a horrible lie to tell your own wife, even if in a fight and especially since you have trusts issues.
Good on therapy and I agree with breathe123 that if that doesn't work, maybe a separation is in order.
Is he happy in the marriage, are you even before this event?

To PM breathe123 click button on bottom of her post left hand side "Send PM" you might need more posts to be able to send PMs on here so go post in off topic sections until you get enough posts to use PM system on here is my advice.

[Toriwhit1004]

He says he is but idk...well be good...no fights for like a month. Then something will piss me .off or him off an we take it out on each other and then a big blow up fight will happen. We were happy but idk what happebed...he says it was when I got really suicidal an there was an incident back in December that pushed him away but he said he wants to make it work...it's kust a matter of waiting for insurance:/

[breathe123]

I got your friends request and added you onto my profile, Tori but no messages from you. Maybe you don't have enough posts to send one yet or you need to be a member for a week or something to use the Pming here. Just wait it out & do what megvoh suggested to you to do, OK?

If it is very private don't type it out in the open, can wait for you to PM it.

Worse he said that stone cold sober then :[ Nasty to lie about doing that too, so beyond the normal. Bad form on him. What makes you fight so much? Being unhappy with him or not trusting him caused the fights?

[Toriwhit1004]

I'll keep trying to pm u. ...And idk...I'm not unhappy with him..I doubt kno how to just walk away whebm we start fighting and he like has anger issues...it's not all him. When I was going to therapy for
Just myself we were (my therapist and I) were working on walking away and not making the fights worse...so idk and it's not that bad...hust something I did that I shouldn't have done....I don't wanna say it .on here tho

[Toriwhit1004]

Here's what happened....I typed .all this ouit to thimk.it .would .let .me . Buit Ithe didn. Idc any more. People wambma bash me for what I did .themb so b it. ��

bare with. Me with the typos and miss spellings...my screen. on my phoebe. Is cracked and it's hard .to type....anyways....Friday night we got into fight cause I wanted to go pick my brother up from work...he an my husband do not like each other...plus my car is not very reliable. So my husband said no as I was about to walk out the door......we got in to this huge fight ov3r this is was screaming at him. An put his hand ov3r my mouth to keep my from screaming an yelling.I pushed him away..he pushed me on to the bed...grabbed my phone an threw it against the wal...thats how the screen shattered. An it just got way worse....everything calmed down. Eventually. I stayed in the room he stayed in the living room.....I was laying in bedthinking about stuff...an his baby mom came across my mind....

A little back ground info on her...shes been pissed sinceday one that we got together....told him he not seeing his kid unless he leaves me an gets back with 3r he said no way. I'm not leaving her for u. Ect... about a month into our relationship she called him n mad3 him say good bye to bella cause he was never gonna talk to her or see her again...(Bella is his daughter...my step daughter..she's 4...was 2. Almost 3 at the time) she took for child support....even tho he was giving money every week for her...after he was taken for support. She changed her number an didn let anyone or him in his family see bella for almost a yr. (From Oct 2014 to Aug 2015) Oct we moved out of state 4 2 months cuz his work...she claimed he abandoned her. But he did not....she went and got full custody of bella....I ended up getting pregnant...she got even more pissed n jealous....threats started. We ignored it cuz we were out of state nd I never thought nothing of it....we moved back to Pennsylvania in end of December. I was 14wks pregnant. Feb we got engaged. She called him on a blocked number an said bella was hurt an she need him so he went an met her an she ended up lying about that. She said only way to see bella is if h ed abandon the new baby and leave me...he said no way. Bye. Came homega told me everything. I was furious. Around bellas 3rd bday she gave corey...my hubby. Her number. And she was being nice. I was blown away lol she ended up threaten ed to kill me and the baby. Cause I wouldn lev the room when he was n on phone with her. Said I shouldn have to no. I'm not. U might be able to control if he sees bella or bit but u will not control me.......and changed her number again. Didn see bella till end of August....at coreys moms bdah...the. bby was about 2 months old...it was very emotional. Bella was in oufact wedding cuz my mil...but she was telling bella Ithe was a picnic ������ anyways...we were seeing her for a little bit cuz my mil....about 2 weeks after we got marroee....Oct 4th....beLla ended up telling me she was being touched....I didn think to much of it. Kept it to myself. A week of keeping to myself bout this is got barely ny sleep nd I was having nightmates. Told corey. He said tell my drs I did....they called (my primary dr i got my meds off of n my therapist) cys so did i....bellas mom called corey flipped out told mill she was never gonna see bella again....which cause my mil to flip out on me cauing me to have a breakdown. So bad I had to go to the er...i went home that night. Hubby told me don't worry about anything. I'm a great mom an he loved me.....December came...didn see bella till xmas....Dec 20th pth I decided to take myself off meds ...anti depressants.....I freaked and tried KLing myself infront of corey...he called my mom had her take.me to er cause how.bad my arm was cut....I ended up getting admitted to mental hospital for 3days....Dec 23rd I got to go home....we got bella....for xmas an new years....after that got her almost every other weekend till easter when she asked abut my scars on my arm...shes was 3 so I'm not gonna tell h er what actually happened. I told her just some boobooos....she went n told her mom her mom called corey and Saidim never allowed around her again n im nothing to her an all tbks....may...her 4th bday...we got her...a.n then seen her again in july at my daughters 1st bday....Haven seen her since....

So....getting to what I did...after the fight Fri night...I got her number. A picoff fb of hrr...and put h3r on a dating site cause of everything she put me thru I thought she deserved it...I deleted all the evidence off my phone incase he went thru it....well 3am she called freaking...cause her phone was getting blown up lol (sry I still think of its funny) corey went thru my phonecause I swore up and down in didn do it...confident he wasn gonna find anything I let him...well he went thrumy phone.....was off the hook till he he looked in the clipboard...we're copy n paste stuff was stores....which was were her number an pic was.�� I begged him to hang up and id explain everything but he refused an said no. Made me admitt it...and he an her made me feel like the biggest piece of shit ever. That's were he said he cheated on me with her an he said he was stiull in love with her...he FINALLY got off the phone with her an i asked him he was serious about cheating said no said it to hurt me...said he did love kayla...baby mom....but not like he loved me....only cause she's bellas mom an ways will....as same with me....Saturday he said he sent dick pic....I went thru text history on phone company website site and there was no picture sent to her numner....or NY pic sent at all....he said he didn only said to hurt me gain......
Sunday is got him to admitt deep deep down he agreed she did deserve This after everything she's put me an him thru....

Ik i was wrong for doing what I did.....I shouldn't have done it...but I did an i let anger and jelousy get the best of me.....we're ok. Now....he said he'd give us one more chance but only cause the baby �� which I don't think is really true cause he has been. Trying to mke things work an we've been ok....

Idt I deserved to be told he cheated on me and that he was stll in love with her an tht he sent a pic n all tht....maybe I did....idk ��

[breathe123]

Oh my, Tori.

Grabbing you & destroying your phone is considered assault & destruction of property & you could put charges on him for that.

OK what you did with her photo was a little too far but I think she probably did deserve it in some ways but why would he think YOU did it? Could have been anyone.

His reaction says a lot not sure you want to know what it really says though. To me it says he was THAT angry at you that he retaliated because he was worried that she'd get with one of those men off that site blowing up her phone & he wants her to himself & that was why it angered him. Normal reaction would be wtf & agree she caused you a lot of grief and blow it off & let her clean it up.

I think you need away from him & her if they are causing you so much stress & pain you try to kill yourself. He isn't good for you, mentally emotionally. You know this.

[Toriwhit1004]

I didn try killing myself cause him...I was on 3 different anti depressants and I decided to take myself off an literally went physco....an he thought it was me cause she was blaming me...shes been trying to break us up since day1...he was saying it wasn me untill he found a picture of her in my phone when he was going thru it with her on the phone trying to tell her it wasn me an when I saw her found the picture I decided to fest
Up and tell him the truth...an was trying to get him to hang up so I could explain your I did it with out her on the phone...:/

She only starts shit when shes single or she's pissed off....we had a long talk the other night about all of this...and things have gotten better....but I just know anymore....

[breathe123]

If being with him & the stress of his ex causes you issues then to me all things are because of him & your relationship with him & also him knowing what you have done in the past more reason he shouldn't say stuff like that to you, your mental health & happiness should matter most to him. Hope when you get into therapy together they can help you both work on all issues & things will be easier for you then. Everything going ok now?

[Toriwhit1004]

Yes things are a lot better now.