Hey everybody. I would greatly appreciate your advice to my story a I’m really desperate. I will try to keep it short. So six months ago, I met this guy. He is 40 and I’m 27 years old, I know the age gap is big, but we are really compatible on every level. He told me he was married for 8 years but had been separated from his wife for a few months now. That was fine as we started off as friends, but we both developed feelings for each other. We both live away from our home countries, and his ex with whim he didn’t finalize the divorce yet lives in the same country as us, but in a different city. When he told me the story of why they broke up, I felt sorry for him. She made his life miserable for 8 years, always screaming and swearing at him, blackmailing him into doing whatever she wants, always putting her family first, and basically every bad thing you might think off.
I know you might say he may be lying to me, and this is just a story of an older married guy tricking a younger girl into becoming his lover, but I know for a fact that she is a bitch, as me and him live together, and he is always letting me read her e-mails to him and I can always hear her screaming at him on the phone. They have two girls, 6 and 7, that is why they have to communicate. Also, she took him to court and sued him for divorce and child support although he was fully supporting his daughters. She has also been to his place of work a few times and made a huge scene there and with his boss, she is a nut case.
Anyways, goes without saying that he swore to never go back to her, as he not only never loved her, but she made his life miserable before the separation, and became even crazier and angrier after. As for us, I know for a fact that he love me very much, and I do love him. We are both here in a foreign country on our own, he is having some financial problems, but I swore to never leave his side, and he is fully supporting me, financially and otherwise as much as he can, until I get a job. We have fun together, he is truly loyal, and always comes to me for advice and whenever he is having any problems, so we are basically best friends.
We have been together for 6 month now, of which 4 we have lived together. We discussed marriage, and I told him I’m not in a hurry to get married, and I’m just happy to live one day at a time. He said he was relieved as he is not able to get married now because he doesn’t know when he can get married again because of the whole thing with his ex, and that he has no intention of leaving me and wishes we could get married, but we both need to accept the fact that both our lives are hectic now, and it might never happen for us.
Things were ok until a couple of days ago when he went to pick up his daughters from her house, to get some school stuff. After dropping them off, she insisted to speak to him. She got into his car and explained to him that she dropped off the charges, still loved him and that she wanted to get back together. That came from a woman who just the other day was screaming and swearing at him, and stalking him at his place of work and demanding divorce. He came home and told me what happened. We laughed of course as I knew for a fact that he hated her and would never live under the same roof with her again. When we discussed it further that night however, he told me that he didn’t know what to do, and that although he hated her, if she changes, he would still sacrifice me, his job, his family and everything on earth just for his kids to live with their parents. Needless to say these words hurt me to the core, I was in shock. He explained how much he loved his daughters, and that he would rather stay miserable than have them come out of a broken home.
Long story short, now he is having doubts and thinking about getting back only for his kids. We haven’t spoken much in the last two days, and I’m avoiding him in the apartment as much as possible. We agreed to take it one day at a time, and we don’t have our future fully planned, and that is ok with me. But I told him if he gets back with her, that is the end for us, we cannot even be friends. He said he was really confused and that he didn’t want me to give up on him and that he cannot imagine his life without me. I’m really disappointed in him, how can he think of getting back with such a person, in my eyes now, he has no dignity, pride, or self worth. And I discovered his mind could easily be changed, and that is not a good quality.
So now I don’t know what is the right thing to do, break up with him just because there is a slight chance he might actually get back with her and be miserable, or stay. I thought about talking to him and tell him that I wanted a break, so we both can figure things out, but I don’t know how we can do that when we both live together. And given that I have no where to go and I don’t know anybody in this country. I really love him, and I know he does too. He is the best person I have ever met, and I don’t wanna lose him. I don’t wanna give up on him and he begged me not to. What should I do? Any advice would be appreciate, but no negative comments please, im already devastated. Thanks all for reading!