Dating a girl with depression and anxiety

[JonathanBeaux]

Hi

I'm a newbie first time poster so please go easy! I'll not go into great detail as I don't what to disclose Thai girls private life. So long story short ...

Been dating a girl for around 5 month. In total we have been involved for 7 months as it took me a while to get her out on a date. She suffered with a bad brown heart for 2 years plus she has been through a hell of a lot and it's affected her badly. She's on anti depressants and ha sheen advised counselling sessions will benefit following a consultation but she's yet to attend.

Things that usually affect others affect her 10 times worse. For example, she's really not enjoying her job but it's getting her down so badly and taking over her life. During circumstances like this she tries to push me away and tell me she can't date me any longer and then a week or 2 later when she's feeling better were fine again. I guess it's just people's different ways of dealing with things, I know from experience at times when I'm feeling really down I Shute download deactivate Facebook etc.

I just want to help her as best as I can. Obviously also I want to put the boyfriend girlfriend title on what we have. I do my absolute best to help her and go above and beyond and I know I do help her a lot. It's just kills me to see her upset, hear or see her cry etc. There's only so ,inch I can do however and she does need yo help herself but she feels so lethargic which is a symptom of what she's going through.

Any advice from people that suffer from depression or anxiety or both or if you know someone going through it if even dating/dated someone with depression or anxiety.

Is it normal to be pushed away?

I say to her she would be mad to push me away because I make her laugh so much and smile. When she's feeling down I pick her back up again. I'm always there to rely on and I give her the kick up the back side she needs. I love and care about her so much and I'm so loyal to her it just feels like instead of pushing me away she should be bringing me closer,

I don't know I'm far from an expert

Thanks guys

[hazey daisy]

Sorry but you can't help her, she will be like this for the rest of her life. It's going to be a rocky road, and you will find yourself unhappy. many people on another site have dated someone that suffers from mental illness and they swear they will never do it again. It is too much. It will kill your quality of life.

[nerdybutnice]

I am a girl that had pretty severe depression and anxiety and I couldn't work on my own problems whilst I was in a relationship. As you said, everything effects her 10 times more than a "normal" person so any silly mistake you do in that relationship has the potential to make her miserable. This is too much pressure for you and I highly recommend you leave the relationship. For a little while she may be depressed about it but it will give her the chance to heal slightly.

I was in a relationship with the guy I loved for 2 years but all my issues I have had from childhood were just a constant bubble that made me overreact to any small problem we had because all of my mental effort was being used up already. So we mutually ended the relationship and I went to a bad place for a few months but now I have been single for 2 years and I am working on my problems. I am still working on it but I have been to counselling and I have shown massive improvement. I am now classed as being moderately depressed and my anxiety only hits with certain issues now rather than taking over my entire life. I 100% believe I would not have been able to progress like this because I have had to be selfish with my time, emotions and love. I have had to keep everything for myself and I would have not been able to give him any thought, love or attention. It wouldn't be fair.

Also you sound like an amazing guy for sticking around and helping pick up the pieces but depression is not something that anyone else can help you with if you want to learn to manage it. She needs to learn how to manage it herself and pick herself up and for that to happen she needs professional support and to go through the very rocky, exhausting and terrifying route of feeling like she has nobody to rely on.

So I suggest you explain that you love her but you want her to heal and for that she needs time to grow by herself and get some help. Time to let herself be selfish and not worry about anyone else.

Good luck