Dumped 24 hours after having his baby!!!

[Donnamichelle]

I was with my boyfriend on and off for 4 years. It would be great for a few months then he would say he couldnt be with me and find loads of different excuses why manily my past. (7 year old from a previous relationship) so i would get on with my life but then he would always worm his way back in saying hes sorry and its me he wants bla bla bla this went on for 2 years!! He lies all the time and he denyes even being in a relationship with me to his friends and lets them say really nasty things about me via texts. 10 months ago i fount out i was pregant!!!!!! I was soo scared id be a single mum again and i did think about all the options but i went ahead with the pregancy and he changed!! Werent the best relationship by any means but for 7 months we was a proper lil happy family. After i had my son 6 weeks ago now everythin was still ok in the hospital we was so loved up, happy, emotional...well so i thought. 12 hours after being home he just went really quiet, he told my daughter her new brother is only her half brother which of cause caused an argument between us then that night at half past 12 during a night feed he tells me he dont love me, this aint ever going to work but he wants to be there as much as he can for his son. Wow!! Absolutly heartbroken!! Never felt pain like it. For the past 6 weeks iv let him come see our son when he wants(not ready to be apart from my baby) hes took the piss and only seen him a hour or 2 a week but last weekend i made the mistake of texting him sayin i miss him and he ended up back in my bed!! Now i feel like iv got to go threw it all again. Please give me some advice on what to do!!!

[TheEvilJester]

To be honest with you, and I don't mean this to sound judgmental or like I am blaming you.... but my first gut reaction is how in the world did you ever allow the risk of becoming pregnant with this loser when you consider even just the little you've shared with us, which I would be willing to bet is just the tip of the iceberg of this guy's douchebaggery. Furthermore, part of me is wondering why in the Hell you'd have even taken him back so many times in the first place....

But, believe me, I understand. Sometimes it is hard to get over somebody. You once thought he could be the guy you've always wanted. Even when you logically have learned that he mostly certainly IS NOT, it can be hard to give that up.... it can be hard not to just keep thinking/hoping that maybe that guy IS in there, that if you just stick with him things will work out.

With all of that said.... let me say one thing I think is most important....

I am SO sorry to hear that this happened to you. This guy sounds like a complete A-hole scumbag, and you certainly deserve better. So, literally A DAY after you've given birth to his child.... and after only one little argument.... he suddenly can't handle being with you anymore when he tried to pretend like everything was great leading up to this.

To be perfectly honest with you, I'm not mind reader, so I can't know.... but I think he's full of crap. I think he has been freaking out this entire time and looking for ANY excuse to leave, and this was finally his excuse. To be completely honest.... I can't help but wonder how long it is until he stops even supporting his new son. I hope he at least continues to be a father to his son, but he sounds like a gigantic flake and a complete loser, so it wouldn't surprise me if he did not.

I think the most important advice I would personally offer, though, is DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK AGAIN. As long as he supports his child and remains a good father, then you shouldn't try to keep his son away from him.... but that doesn't have to mean you and he are together. How many times has he broken your heart already? Why would you let him do it again? You deserve somebody much better than that, especially considering everything you have been through already.

That has to be your decision. At the end of the day if you want to try to make it work with him, that is up to you. Personally, I just don't see how it could work with him now when he has done the same to you time and time again. Even the birth of his child was not enough for him to man up and stop acting like such a child himself. But, if you do decide you want to try to make it work, then my advice would be to at least have some kind of reasonable breaking point. Give him a chance if you really must, but you need to have some point where enough is enough.... and if he hits that point, for the good of yourself and your child, end things with him, at least as far as you two as a couple. If he FINALLY mans up, grows up, and stops playing games, then great, but you at least need some breaking point where enough is enough. Good luck to you either way.

[topazlight]

He probably always knew he wasn't going to stay with you, baby or not he just waited until the right time to come clean with you, you must have sensed or knew this would come about because of how he has been and treated you in the past. I don't feel selfish people ever really changed, the same way cheaters never really change - they put themselves first and can't seen how their actions hurt others because others are not a priority. I would make sure he pays his child support for your child together but no longer want him in your life as any potential partner. Burned too many times.

[Medina]

No doubt, you bringing the trouble upon you all by yourself. Since he is constantly messing up with your emotion, I think it's better you leave him, and live your life alone, try to be happier with whatever you've left.