Instagram to Texting - Help

[Braytc]

There’s a girl near me that i messaged on instagram last night, she responded first thing with “Heyy (smiley face with heart eyes).

Talked to her for a couple hours, didn’t do anything crazy just asked her if she wanted to text instead, she gave me her number.

Texted her for a while, today asked her to do something this week.

She told me her busy schedule, then she said “let me know when you’re free”.

Talked to her about that, and now she’s taking like 7 hours to respond.

Where do i stand?

update: it's been 2 days since she even messaged anything, so i messaged her about an hour ago. 30 mins after i text her she makes a post on her instagram...still no response from her

[TheEvilJester]

Wait, so if I understand the timeline correctly, you have only known her for a few days, correct? And you've really only just started talking.

Honestly, that is much too soon for you to be worrying at all. Give her some time. Keep trying. She already told you about her busy schedule. Maybe it just so happens she is busy at the moment and had time for a quick Instagram post, but didn't necessarily have time to go through discussing plans with you and/or wanted to give that more attention. An Instagram post can possibly take a matter of seconds. Making plans sort of deserves more attention than just a few seconds. So, maybe she just didn't have enough time.

If you keep trying and keep feeling like she is never available.... THEN maybe you decide she isn't worth your time and you just move on. But, I wouldn't consider one occurrence to necessarily be indicative of a habit. Believe me, I understand how you feel. She certainly could have made some effort to contact you within two days... but again she did share with you she has a busy schedule, so maybe she's just been busy. Though, in fairness, if her busy schedule is pretty regular such to where she rarely has time for you even if you two DO start dating, it wouldn't be wrong of you if that just does not work for you.

Good luck to you either way.

[Braytc]

Wait, so if I understand the timeline correctly, you have only known her for a few days, correct? And you've really only just started talking.

Honestly, that is much too soon for you to be worrying at all. Give her some time. Keep trying. She already told you about her busy schedule. Maybe it just so happens she is busy at the moment and had time for a quick Instagram post, but didn't necessarily have time to go through discussing plans with you and/or wanted to give that more attention. An Instagram post can possibly take a matter of seconds. Making plans sort of deserves more attention than just a few seconds. So, maybe she just didn't have enough time.

If you keep trying and keep feeling like she is never available.... THEN maybe you decide she isn't worth your time and you just move on. But, I wouldn't consider one occurrence to necessarily be indicative of a habit. Believe me, I understand how you feel. She certainly could have made some effort to contact you within two days... but again she did share with you she has a busy schedule, so maybe she's just been busy. Though, in fairness, if her busy schedule is pretty regular such to where she rarely has time for you even if you two DO start dating, it wouldn't be wrong of you if that just does not work for you.

Good luck to you either way.

Appreciate it. You have it right, yes.
First night (like 3 nights ago) we messaged on IG all night, towards the end she gave me her number, i messaged her, she messaged back a few times the following day. Now it's been up to 3 days and zero response what so ever. I just dont get it.

[Braytc]

I just got a message from her. "Heyyy, sorry i've been so busy with classes this week (smiley emoji)"

[breathe123]

So wasn't blowing you off, you panicked too soon, this will drive you crazy so if you like her find out if she likes you and wants to go out, if she isn't that same was interested in you find out right off so you don't sit and panic and wonder when she goes silent because busy and you can't not wait for someone not as into you.

[TheEvilJester]

Exactly. See, that is just the sort of thing I was talking about. Maybe she sincerely just was very busy. This is only the first time you've tried to make plans with her. I wouldn't yet jump to any conclusions. If this sort of thing only continues and/or escalates... then maybe you worry about it. If you are always made to feel like she can't be bothered to actually spend time with you, and it always leaves you second-guessing things, then maybe that becomes the time to just forget her and move on. Heck, even if she sincerely wants to hang out with you but actually IS just super busy.... it would be understandable if that still just doesn't work for you.

But, for now, this is only a one time occurrence so far. Not only that, but she did warn you she is busy, and she DID finally get back to you. She's a student right now, so that actually CAN be a pretty busy life style. Good luck to you either way.

[Braytc]

Exactly. See, that is just the sort of thing I was talking about. Maybe she sincerely just was very busy. This is only the first time you've tried to make plans with her. I wouldn't yet jump to any conclusions. If this sort of thing only continues and/or escalates... then maybe you worry about it. If you are always made to feel like she can't be bothered to actually spend time with you, and it always leaves you second-guessing things, then maybe that becomes the time to just forget her and move on. Heck, even if she sincerely wants to hang out with you but actually IS just super busy.... it would be understandable if that still just doesn't work for you.

But, for now, this is only a one time occurrence so far. Not only that, but she did warn you she is busy, and she DID finally get back to you. She's a student right now, so that actually CAN be a pretty busy life style. Good luck to you either way.

Appreciate the feedback as always!
I'm just trying to compare my life. Yes she's a student. But I'm a student + have a full time job + work a business from home and sleep 3 hours a night. Not at all to sound like that, but nobody on the face of the earth knows busy except for me, unless just going to class is that much for her haha.

But yeah i was thinking the way you are, maybe she's just taking it very slowly. I'm going to ask her tonight or tomorrow to do something. Only thing im worried about is on the other forum people are saying "she's just looking for an excuse. she would make time for you if she was interested, or you're just low on the priority list after just "sort of meeting her" " Again, maybe she just is slow with this or im not a big priority or something

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So wasn't blowing you off, you panicked too soon, this will drive you crazy so if you like her find out if she likes you and wants to go out, if she isn't that same was interested in you find out right off so you don't sit and panic and wonder when she goes silent because busy and you can't not wait for someone not as into you.

Appreciate it. People are mistaken, i'm not "PANICKING" , i simply am just trying to figure out purely out of curiosity. If you don't like me, you don't like me. I just move on with my very successful-so-far life. More of doing this for education purposes and seeing what other people think of the situation haha

[TheEvilJester]

Frankly, with all you are doing I wonder how YOU find time to date at all. LOL! But, yeah, I think you hit right on it later in your own comment. Maybe because you are used to all that you wonder how in the heck she can claim she is super busy. But, maybe to her, the way her life currently goes IS busy for her. So, it may make her a little less motivated to date than she might otherwise be.

Don't get me wrong, I do agree with the advice you mentioned people on a different message board are giving you to some degree...... BUT I still just think it is too early to be making that call. Yes, if she truly considers you a priority, she would make time for you. ....BUT she barely knows you at this point. You two have not yet even been on a date. So, why in the heck would you expect her to consider you a priority yet? Right now, you are basically just some guy to her. Some guy that, hopefully, she is interested in dating, but she doesn't yet know you well enough to know if you could become a priority to her. If you two started dating and it went well, then you certainly should become a priority to her or that would certainly be the right time to feel like it wasn't enough if she did not.

Again, all that said, you are still perfectly within your rights to just forget her and move on if that is what feels right to you. Even if she is not blatantly blowing you off, if you need somebody who isn't too busy to make time for you, and you are already feeling like that isn't her, then you wouldn't be wrong to just move on. So, really, it is up to you. Do you feel it is worth giving her a chance for a while to see if maybe she is sincerely interested and has just been busy? Or, do you think it isn't even worth your time?

Good luck to you either way!

[Braytc]

Frankly, with all you are doing I wonder how YOU find time to date at all. LOL! But, yeah, I think you hit right on it later in your own comment. Maybe because you are used to all that you wonder how in the heck she can claim she is super busy. But, maybe to her, the way her life currently goes IS busy for her. So, it may make her a little less motivated to date than she might otherwise be.

Don't get me wrong, I do agree with the advice you mentioned people on a different message board are giving you to some degree...... BUT I still just think it is too early to be making that call. Yes, if she truly considers you a priority, she would make time for you. ....BUT she barely knows you at this point. You two have not yet even been on a date. So, why in the heck would you expect her to consider you a priority yet? Right now, you are basically just some guy to her. Some guy that, hopefully, she is interested in dating, but she doesn't yet know you well enough to know if you could become a priority to her. If you two started dating and it went well, then you certainly should become a priority to her or that would certainly be the right time to feel like it wasn't enough if she did not.

Again, all that said, you are still perfectly within your rights to just forget her and move on if that is what feels right to you. Even if she is not blatantly blowing you off, if you need somebody who isn't too busy to make time for you, and you are already feeling like that isn't her, then you wouldn't be wrong to just move on. So, really, it is up to you. Do you feel it is worth giving her a chance for a while to see if maybe she is sincerely interested and has just been busy? Or, do you think it isn't even worth your time?

Good luck to you either way!

Really what im doing takes not even 5 minutes. I come home from work/class at this time and check this haha. Really doesn't take much.
That's how i felt too, i don't expect her to make me her NUMBER ONE EVERYTHING after just typing to me , but i just want a chance to be with her and to date her at the least. If she's not interested okay, but if im not interested in someone i either tell them or i just don't even bother sending 1 single message in the very first place. coming from a normal person, it SOUNDS like any normal person that is interested in me.

I'm not giving up on her, but the fact she's taking an entire day to message up im not sure. Problem is she lives close to an hour away and i dont really know where to specifically take her on a date because i obviously have no idea what is even in her location (She lives on campus in a dorm too so) . She asked me where i'd want to go and i was pretty honest about that fact that im not sure what's in her area, but it sounds like she may want to give me that chance to invite me down there. Wont give up, i like her a lot from my perspective currently.

[TheEvilJester]

I think, then it sounds like you have a pretty good idea of how to proceed, at least in the way that feels right for you. I use this phrase a lot, but I think this is a good cause for "cautious optimism." How that applies in your case....

I think at this point it would be a good time to proceed with the assumption that nothing is likely to happen with you two.... but leaving the option open. In other words, I'd say you still seek out other women to date (and if you just so happen to really hit it off with somebody else, then she is too little too late and that is her loss), and don't waste too much effort on her. ....BUT, if she finally actually does move forward with making plans with you, no harm in giving her a shot.

Beyond that, if that DOES happen and things go well with her, you can take it from there. But, I would definitely not suggest you hold your breath waiting for her.... yet I also wouldn't necessarily suggest you just completely write her off. Again, leave the option open, but proceed with the assumption it isn't happening. Then, maybe you'll be pleasantly surprise, but if not at least you didn't get your hopes up anyway.

Good luck!