A first date without a kiss

[Bricks]

Hello community,

So I've been on a date with a girl today. It was our first date.
It basically went well, as we had alot of fun and the time flew.

But I just couldn't find a right moment to kiss her, altough I tried it, I'm not so smooth with those things.
When we left eachother, I tried to give her a small kiss on her cheek when we hugged, but the hug was too fast and
it didn't work out well.

Now I'm feeling quiete bad about it. So I wondered, is it bad that we didn't kiss on our first date and what should I do
from this point on?

[hazey daisy]

If the hug was short, she wasn't looking for a kiss to begin with, so your instincts were not far off. What to do next? Ask her out on another date.

[pcmaster]

Short hugs are for girls. When I hug a girl I hug her tight in a bearhug and lift her up that way. Thats what I like.

[TheEvilJester]

I'm actually interested in following along with this one for other people's thoughts myself. I don't think I'll ever need to worry about a first date again anyway.... but just in case I'd like to know general thoughts on what you should do. I, myself, tend to feel like a first date is too soon for a kiss, even just on the cheek.... but I'm not sure if maybe I'm just weird/too shy. ....Wait, scratch that. I KNOW I'm both weird and too shy. LOL! But, I mean, I wonder if this is an instance of my being weird/too shy. But, it's just often times the first "date" is almost barely even really a date, but more just a getting to know each other type of event. So, I don't know about anybody else, but I'd feel a little weird kissing somebody, even just on the cheek, after what wasn't really much of a date but more just a "getting together for coffee/ice cream" sort of thing.

Now, in my personal opinion, I don't think it should be that big a deal that you didn't kiss her on the first date. Again, I'm acknowledging the fact that I am not the best authority on this, so I could be wrong....

But, I think it is fine if there was no kiss on the first date. It's only the first date where you are really just getting to know each other and get a feel for if you both think it is worth continuing. A second date would be a pretty good sign, and that may be the time for a kiss on the cheek, or even on the lips if that seems appropriate.

So, I think for now I'd say just don't worry too much about it and continue to proceed with a second date if you are both interested. If she seems uninterested in a second date, then just move on and find somebody else. If she is interested in still dating you, then just go with the flow and do things as they feel appropriate to you. Good luck!

[twooddtrees]

Now, in my personal opinion, I don't think it should be that big a deal that you didn't kiss her on the first date. Again, I'm acknowledging the fact that I am not the best authority on this, so I could be wrong....

I say WRONG!
If you are a midlife dater, kiss on the first date. Get it out there. Things move faster, we don't have 6 months of Geometry class to get to know each other. Time is short and valuable. If she likes you she will kiss you back, simple. If she is over 30 and shy...hmmmm. I am not saying have sex or a full on make out session, but a kiss at our age is the way to be sure the other person know you are in this. I am 44, I have had 2 gals want me to kiss on the first date and I was uncomfortable, too many people around. I passed and they where both offended. I know they wanted it because one lingered by her car and kept starring into my eyes, the other gave me a long hug, cheek to cheek, I had to pull away. So unless the date is super short, less than an hour I would go for it. Sometimes no perfect moment presents itself, then I simply grab them and pull them in. They have always loved it. I have never been refused, but I am also sexy!:-) ha ha ha.

[dollhouse]

No, I never kiss on the first date..lots don't but next date try to give a nice gentle kiss goodnight and see how it goes from there.

[TheEvilJester]

I don't know about Bricks, but now I'm just getting more confused. LOL! You have one person very vehemently saying you should ALWAYS kiss on the first date, and you have one person saying they never do, and that a lot don't.

What dollhouse is saying does align more with what I would personally feel comfortable doing. To me, the first date is usually like the coffee get together kind of thing. Not really a full blown date, per se, but it is still a date. It just doesn't seem appropriate to me to kiss after that, even just on the cheek. I mean, unless maybe it went REALLY well. However, after the second date, which would typically be more of an actual full blown date if you get that far, I'd feel comfortable with a kiss on the cheek, or even more if it seemed appropriate given the situation.

Like I've said, I'm not exactly the authority on the situation, though, so I don't know if that is advisable or not.