High School Sweetheart - I really need your thoughts!!

[johanna78]

Hi all,
I have a story to share! I was dating someone back in HS for 1 year but I broke it off after because I had to leave my country. He was really in love with me! One year, when I visited my family back in my country...he asked me to marry him! I refused! I broke his heart! He stopped dating other girls. He suffered a lot! He eventually found someone who
Looked like me and marry her against his parents wish. In the meantime, I got married but divorced right now. He is still married and we both have kids. We had common friends so I always asked them how he is doing!!! But I wasn't in love with you so much!
I am 38 and after 15 years or so, we reconnected on Facebook. He admitted he followed me on Facebook for all these years. I never knew he has an account. As we were talking (every day) I started to have these strong feelings for him that I never knew I had. I felt so stupid for letting love go by but I was young and stupid! When I told him how I felt, he said his feelings are coming back but he cannot do anything because he is married and loves his wife. He still lives in my country and I respected his decision. We stopped talking for few months until recently when he told me that his marriage is really bad, that he suffers and that he might get to a divorce just like me. He was upset and tried to be there for him without bringing up my feelings anymore.
Today he contacted me again on Facebook sending me a photo of his. He asked me to send a photo of mine....which I did. He said he made up with his wife even though things are still not great!
We talked today....it felt so great!!! I am glad when he contacts me but I am not glad when I hear he has problems. I want him happy!!! I love him deeply but if he wants to stay friends...I don't want to jeopardize my friendship with him. Why does he contact me? I know he has feelings for me but he won't leave his wife unless she leaves him first. I won't ask him that and I won't break their marriage. But how can I control my feelings? What can I do??? My heart hurts but I won't bring up my feelings again....please, please advise! I don't want to loose him!! I want to keep him at least as a friend!!! I felt so bad for breaking his heart and I did ask for his forgiveness!! I am not going to let him go!!! What can I do??