She is scared of me after the first date, PLEASE HELP

[Arkadiusz]

Hello and best regards to everyone!
I have a complicated case and I feel very frustrated for it, so please give me some honest answers. I've met a girl on social media, we've been texting for hours and both realised that we have a lot of things in common and that we like each other. We are even from the same city, so distance shouldn't be a problem. So we decided to meet in real life, which we did.
Now comes the funnier part: she is more like the shy and anxious person, never had a boyfriend even though she's very hot, and had moments when she barely spoke to me when we met on our date. But it's clear that she was happy to see me, cuz she smiled a lot and tried to participate in our discussions. I don't care for her lack of communication or shyness, i truly like her the way she is and i'm pretty sure that she understood that because I said it loud and clear. I'm also sure that I'll be able to love her truly if we'll be together, more than I ever loved anybody else.
After our date I asked her what were her impressions about it, cuz she was barely responding to my messages after. She than told me that she felt very weird and that we actually are quite different, that my body language and my voice tone intimidated her a lot. When I asked what I did wrong, she merely said "nothing". I didn't have any intention to harm her in any way, I was very nice and polite and i was very deep into the conversation on our date and I reminded her of all that. I admit that I'm bad at seductive stuff, I just try to be as honest, nice and communicative as I can. Could it be because i stold her a few innocent hugs? We didn't kiss, I haven't try any of that. Could it be because I'm 7 years older than her? She knew very well about the age difference and as far as I know, girls preffer almost always guys older than them.
I know that she's anxious and not much a communicative girl, but i can't understand why she is so careless after the date, when until then she was very responsive to my messages and warm thoughs.
So how can I gain her trust? How can I get her to like me again after all this? It's very frustrating to like someone that says that she likes you back, but after the first date it all seems to fall apart, even if aparrently you haven't done anything wrong.
PLEASE HELP!

[serene64]

Hi,
I don't see think that you can do anything. Especially since she neither liked your body language nor your voice. Personally, both are red flags for me. If I don't like somebody's voice there is no way I would consider seeing them. Good luck.

[PhysicsChick]

Please give up on her. I couldn't keep reading after you wrote "I'm also sure that I'll be able to love her truly if we'll be together, more than I ever loved anybody else."

And that was only a first date. If she doesn't want a second date she is CLEARLY not interested. You may be a nice guy
but she might not like your type.

Also, please don't be one of those guys that say "nice guys don't get girls". It's simple, she is not interested in you. Maybe she's not attracted to you or maybe you seem a little desperate. From what you told us, you are already considering loving her. I would've gotten the hell out of there. Settle down boy, and take your time.

[TheEvilJester]

I definitely feel your pain. Women always seem to be afraid of me as well. I don't get it. I do all the right things. I talk about my hobbies like making lamps and furniture out of my victims. I talk a little about myself like saying I've been learning to cook..... humans. I laugh at their jokes. Okay, maybe it is loud and maniacal, but I laugh. Plus, I dress nicely. I mean, sure, there's some blood on my clothing, but that stuff is hard to get out. I just don't get what it is I am doing wrong.

LOL! Kidding of course.

To be honest, I do kind of have to agree with the others. I wish I could tell you otherwise, but I see those being pretty big red flags as well. I mean, unless you were super loud or way too aggressively positive or something, then I'd have my doubts about her ability to handle anything in life if she found you intimidating. I wasn't there, so it isn't like I could know.... but it sounds to me like you were the perfect gentleman. So, yeah, I think I'd agree with the others that it is probably best just to move on. Believe me, I of all people understand being shy, but that even makes me look like Mr. Social Butterfly by comparison.

[Arkadiusz]

Sorry for being a bit disrespectful, but I already knew about the option to give up on her. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here asking for your help.
Maybe I love her, what's wrong with that? I like her a lot and I'm willing to fight for her, that's for sure. But I don't know exactly how, that's the problem.
I didn't look desperate at the date.
Any other tips, please?

[S0NofHAM]

Most people might freak out if you say that you might be fallen after the first date. Basically they might see that as creep-like behavior, and that might scare the girl off.

Maybe there is some love at first sight-type thing going on here, or maybe you're being a little desperate, or maybe you are just very attracted to and intrigued with her and she seems like a dream girlfriend. The problem is that she might not feel the same way.

Basically you have to understand three things:
1. It is not necessarily in your power to win her over. There is no dragon that you can slay to win her love. She was to be attracted to you and want you back.
2. You will appear exponentially less attractive the more desperate and clingy you are. If you become super clingy after the first date and message her 5-10x/day, then she'll freak out and block you. If she freaks out and blocks you, then you gotta let her go. Basically, play it cool, don't over message her, and don't double message her (give her a time to reply to your first message before you send another message).
3. Things may not work out with you two, so don't get overly-attached too quickly. Try to stay strong and independent: that way, not only will you take it better if it doesn't work out, but she'll also find you more attractive. Girls are attracted to confidence, independence, strength, etc. If you can see that it wont work out, cut your losses short before you get to the overly-attached crying phase, and remember that there are plenty of fish in the sea :-)

[TheEvilJester]

There's certainly nothing wrong with being in love, I don't think any of us are saying that. It's more just we are saying you have only been on one date, so that is soon enough that you should be wary of falling that hard that fast for somebody. Don't get me wrong, I realize sometimes it isn't like you have a choice. Somebody just strikes some chord with you and you can't help how that makes you feel. It's okay to FEEL like you could very much be in love.... but you also need to remember to engage your intellectual side too and realize that, this early in a relationship, it could possibly not wind up working out. Take it from a guy who knows from past experience, you don't want to let yourself get too attached to any person too early.

Now, that said, you say you don't want to give up on her. You were more looking for advice contrary to that. As you saw, I agree with the others saying it would probably be best just to move on.... BUT you are saying you didn't want to do that... So, with that in mind...

I suppose all you could really do is keep trying. Maybe reach back out to her again and say something like "Hey! I'm sorry if I may have intimidated you. That definitely wasn't my intention. I know sometimes I can maybe come on a little strong, but that's just because I really had fun getting to know you a little better. I'd really enjoy seeing you again if you'd be up for that. I promise you'd see I do mellow out a bit, I was honestly just a little nervous."

Something like that, maybe. If you do, though, obviously put it in your own words. Something just to maybe put her at ease a little bit. I wouldn't say you should apologize profusely as though you did anything wrong because, unless I am missing something, you didn't. Just sort of say it in passing similar to how I put it above as though it were more a misunderstanding. The thing is, if she has already made up her mind, she's probably not going to change it back. I'm not suggesting she HAS made up her mind, I'm saying IF. But, if you still want to try you can certainly at least put in an effort to try to keep in touch and ask her on another date. If she's just shy, it may just take her time to warm up.

Good luck!